i couldnt get drunk on a flight out of the Middle East because I'd been taking these uppers that they give to the Indian Airforce, so no booze could hold me. I had to take two Xanax to stop me trying to drive the cab home from the airport. So that was last week.

whiskeyprick wrote:Believing in legends keeps you Alive

yeah it does.

I have a "Wilfred" costume and an electric scooter.

I'm going to scoot past a bunch of business drones dressed as a dog.

Yelling "No-one will believe you!"

Pictures to follow.

Bundy

I'm not sure if Kim Kardashian managed to "Break the Internet" but she certainly put a big crack in it.

'Bye Liz. We'll miss you.

love, Bundy.

Mine depends on who I'm taking the piss out of and where I am. Like every time I get muntered in Japan I wind up doing a Sean Connery voice. Not the accent but the speech impediment. I also enjoy singing songs in a very broad West Country accent. YouTube search "wurzels ruby" or "wurzels common peop...

I'm amphibious. I can wank with both hands underwater.

i got muntered with the Proclaimers last year. I asked if theyd stand next to each other and let me drink till i could only see one of them.... they laughed, told me to fuck off, then gave me an autographed CD and spelt my name wrong, saying "Ha! Now no fucker will believe you."

Spicy McHaggis wrote:Hey Realbundy, you drink at the backpackers hostel/bar in Boat Quay?? Are you visiting or live here??

yeah i drink at the one in Boat Quay and the one in Little India. You in SEA?

i heard this joke and was able to use it in the pub too...

Two large ladies walk into a pub and start talking in Welsh accents

"hello there, are you two birds from Scotland?"

"Its Wales, dickhead."

"Oh, I am sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

kind of a boring story.... i got in, started the engine, thought "Ok, THIS is particularly out of order. Probably not as funny as I think its going to be..... Lets leave it." So I turned the engine off, hopped out and re-entered the pub. And yesterday i rode a kiddie ride at universal studios. not t...

Mr. Viking wrote:everyone likes to complain, but yes, probably should say thanks more often. Since when have you ever heard a bouncer applauded, mind?

a pair of bouncers walked past my local the other day and i led the pub in a round of applause. i mean they had to be at least 36 DD.....

absolutely. they have jam sessions on sundays now that are awesome.

Whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade your cock up someones arse.

Gin McGuinness wrote:

calx wrote:oh! sorry about that i'm in an iron fortress and there's no reception. 2 more hours until millertime for me.

two more horuws and I'll ge outta hcampers

wish you could have called me...

Sonic Screwball wrote:ThirstyDrunk and PHONE

*AHEM* [points to self]