Resident Asshole wrote:I suggest melting the top off with hydrochloric acid. This imparts a sweetness which you will not soon forget.

Don't be silly! Hydrochloric acid only affects organic material, not glass.

Open it with a machete like the champagne sommeliers do. Just be careful of the edges while chugging. You forgot to ask how much is too much in one day.

It that no-where, or now-here?

with a frog in his pocket. He takes the frog out and sits it on the bar. A woman sitting at the bar says, "Hey buddy, what's the frog for?". He replies, "That frog eats pussy, would you like to try it?". She's like, "I don't think so.". Couple of hours go by and she slurs, "hey buddy, I wanna try yo...

Sounds like a recipe for diabetes.

. Any psychoanalysts on this board???? Right here. What you're experiencing is called "feelings." Not much is known about them other than that they are vastly inferior to "thoughts." I'm going to prescribe you alcohol as needed until the symptoms subside, or you no longer care. Thank you for remind...

Would love to go to this but without a chauffeured buss with a bathroom the hour and 45 minute drive would be full of stops by the side of the road.

I would say it's like taking a breathalyzer. Wait 20 minutes before tasting after food or beverage other than alcohol including brushing teeth. If you're tasting multiple whiskey's maybe use coffee to clear your palate the same as sniffing coffee to clear your nose when testing perfumes. This will a...

Read a few posts there and seems like people with real problems, not drunkards. I'll stick with my tried and true. Love you guys!!

Wingman wrote:

Jesus wrote: I have a very dry sense of humor that doesn't always convey in the written word.

Ouch! Out of everyone I thought you would at least have my back.

Judging by the times when my wife is on a diet and only drinks once every week or two I would "guess" that they just bitch about how much their life sucks. She's a much happier person when she drinks every day and it's not like she's fat or anything.

It disheartens me to find out you are a bible thumper. Your writing was exciting me until you had to bring up religion. You're going to have to brief me on how this could be derived from my little rant, as I am and always have been a stalwart atheist. Feel free to be excited. hilarious. All you sai...

It disheartens me to find out you are a bible thumper. Your writing was exciting me until you had to bring up religion.

Do you know why Jesus quit eating M&Ms?

[point at palm]

Because they kept falling through the hole.

Wingman wrote:shame, schmame. whatta you gonna do, throw it out?

Na, I just wash them with some bleach.

I've had to choke down leftover blueberry smirnoff coolers when my keg kicked so I feel your pain. Of course admitting it is like pulling down your pants and showing your skid mark to a first date....