I've been getting shitfaced st The Spring Street Bar and Grill for cheap the past few years. It took a while, but I got to know enough of the bartenders, so they ain't afraid to pour them stro ng, and I usually spend less than $30 catching a jag. Doesn't work with all the bartenders, but when the ri...

Puke and rally. It's the only honorable thing to do, even if you can only choke down one more beer. It shows mettle.

Gallons of High Life.

Do your part for the American working class. Drink union.

Because I'm usually so damn drunk, I can only stand there with my mouth agape, in wonderment of the feeling booze gives me.

A cop once discovered me staggering home from the local, weaving into the street. He picked me up, ran my ID, saw my two prior DWI's, and thanked me for walking. Then he gave me a ride home. Coolest cop ever. He was a Minneapolis cop, so I figure he was out fighting real crime, unlike the suburban d...

You'll probably be out a little money, and maybe a CD evaluation. It's not worth fretting, you may show up to court and the arresting officer might say fuck it, and not show up. If you have connections, find out what day the cop has off and try to re-schedule the court-date for that date. He may not...

[quote="bluebottle"][quote="Slackjawd"]Funny how when the discussion turns to the Natives, everyone was best friends with one. I, for one, have no Native American friends, but I was sucker-punched on the Blackfoot Indian Reservation while in a bar, once. I stood accused of stealing this guy's land. ...

Replace "wife and kids" with "job." Bingo.

I'm in the process of rotating/reorganizing/streamlining stock in my liquor cabinet. I've managed to drain the amaretto, kahlua, plata, and numerous brands of $7 vodkas, all with minimal mixers, as my fridge only has beer, cranberry juice, and some rotting broccolli in it, but I have a major endeavo...

Funny how when the discussion turns to the Natives, everyone was best friends with one. I, for one, have no Native American friends, but I was sucker-punched on the Blackfoot Indian Reservation while in a bar, once. I stood accused of stealing this guy's land. Problem was, I was in Montana, I was fr...

I hate to be a hard-on about this, but what about the ex? Is he okay? It seems perfectly clear that liz will walk again, but the ex, man........is he going to weather the storm? (somebody once told me that you're supposed to be supportive of both sides in a breakup. I called bullshit, but seeing tha...

Vegas Airport circa 2004. Blackout drunk, barely made it past security to the concourse. Went in the john, stepped up to the urinal and pissed. Unfortunately, I didn't unzip my fly, pissed myself standing upright at the urinal. Needless to say, I wasn't let on my flight, had to catch a redeye home, ...

I offer up the Jackass movies. Dipshits making money off of things we do drunk, for free. Zoolander was a hoot, and try the 2nd Rambo movie. With Rambo, drink as follows Kill with knife=5 drinks Kill with Bow and Arrow= 4 drinks Kill with incendiary device= 3 drinks Kill with guns/ammo=2 drinks Take...

White Castle.

'Nuff said.

Piss on the cash. If you're not starving and your gut stays full of booze, you're doing all that's expected of you. Time and a half ain't all it's cracked up to be if it's affecting your chi.