A refined looking gentleman walks into a bar and says to the barman "give me a 25 year old scotch". The bartender not believing the man could tell the difference pours a 12 year old scotch and hands it to the gentleman. He spits it out and says "I ordered a 25 year old scotch and you gave me a 12 ye...

Don't mean to piss all over your very valid point about bruising vermouth by shaking martinis so I will just tell you that shaking a martini bruises the ice cubes - by that I mean it breaks off the sharp corners and creates chips that melt more quickly than an unbattered cube. This has the unholy ef...

Serious newb here. Just clicking around in here when I stumbled onto your story - actually laughed out loud (refuse to use the initials). Looking forward to posting here and now your story has raised the intimidation factor. Solid.