you don't go to the modernpornstar board and brag about losing your virginity. you don't go to the modernstoner board and brag about smoking shwag. you don't go to the moderndrunkard board and admit you get drunk off two drinks Like I said in another topic. Some of you fuckers lack comprehension. A...

I must be in a fog. I thought last weekend was St. Patricks Day. That's why I was cautious last Saturday when I was driving home from Chili's. No wonder I didn't see any roadblocks.

I guess I need to get a calender.

Are you Elton John? Really? Are you?

Went to Chili's last night and met up with a female friend for a drink and some appetizers. Ended up having more that one. Four actually. Then, it came time to drive home. - 12 miles. What's worse, I knew the cops were having those designated undrunkenness check points scattered around. Fortunately,...

Throw some whiskey in it and call it MoJo.

A Bold Fresh Piece Of Humanity, by Bill O'Reilly.

Judge wrote:I quickly showed her my bottle of 90 proof TJD and explained the rarity. She said, "oh yes there were plenty of bottles with that label."

Which you should have replied....

Come to think of it, the gin was a much larger pour. I sure do like gin.

Monday, I drank three whiskeys on the rocks. I got kinda buzzed.

Tuesday, I drank two gin and tonics and got more than buzzed.

What the fuck?

Maybe it needs to be repeated? Or maybe this is one for Mythtbusters!

I dont like bars either. I dont want to close them. I just choose to drink at home or at friend's homes. Read that as, I like drinking with people I know.

You're living as a Broad?

I like guns.

They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!

Dean Vernon Wormer: Mr. Kroger: two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman? Flounder: Hello! Dean Vernon Wormer: Zero point two... Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta ...