Wait now. I was searching online (undrunk mind you) for some meaningless shit and I found "Modern Drunkard Magazine"! I says to myself, I says self, where do I know that name and that's a pretty good idea for an online magazine. Large print too. But wait, says I. Don't I drunk post on a drunkard for...

1 percent aqueous humour;

1 percent Interstitial fluid; and

1 percent vaginal dryness

#254
Bought some weed off a hooker for $20.00. She begged me to let her give me a blow job because she needed money for cocaine. I espoused the virtues of marijuana and alcohol but she wasn't buying it. She was sad so I gave her $40.00 more and took one for charity.

Illiniwek wrote:

peetie44 wrote: Coxwell Ave,

Dude, ... he he ... you lived on cock swell ... he he

Belive it or not, that's where the hookers are.

You buy whiskey at the Lick Bo. Where else would you buy it? Come by my house and I'll give you a drink on it.

I stole an ice cold Labatt's Blue from my father's beer fridge in the basement and chugged it while I kept an eye on the fucker through the basement window while he was working in the backyard. Didn't love it, but I did love #2 to #89,856! (I did the math)

# 248 got pissed drunk Party at a friends place. I got super loaded and woke up in his room that was in the cellar. I had to take a pee immediatly but there was no bathroom. I knew that there was a sink somewhere but it was pitch dark. Then I remebered the guest toilet on first floor. I hurried to ...

#244 Got invited to my neighbors' house when I was already hammered. Proceeded to drink all of their booze, put a cigarette burn on their couch and keep them up until almost 6 in the morning by loudly slurring personal anecdotes at them. They haven't spoken to me since... Don't sweat it . . . it's ...

1% arcing ropes of jism.

1% Fentanyl
1% Krokodil
1% Flakka
lace with Paprika to throw off the dogs

Palinka wrote:

Dear Booze wrote:Making love to an individual with a HANDicap adds character and commands respect.

Aww shit I get it now . . . Andy Capp was my favorite cartoon as a kid . . . crazy wife beating drunk.

#238 Fell off a wall and fucked up my shin . . . not sure how that resulted in me having no money in my wallet in the morning #239 Stole a cowboy hat from a Cuban gaucho . . . gave it back to him when he asked me nicely #240 hooked a 100 plus pound King Mackeral . . . lost it at the boat, BUT NOT BE...

#233 Now I can get pretty hammered and still walk a straight line but add some marijuana and hash and I get some kind of inner ear thing . . . it's not the liquor. On a guy's weekend a few months ago we were enjoying a late night bonfire when yours truly took a big hit from the bong and decided it w...

I'm reading Hemingway at the moment and that drunken bastard's prose has got me in a mind to write and to drink and when I drink the birds sing and the bees buzz and when I go out in the meadow and the breeze blows it takes me back to the fields of Normandy where I met the woman that would eventuall...

1% Blue Sky

"It may be blue, but it's the bomb."