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Got me a dangler of a synapse today. I'm blaming the bottle of mescal with the scorpion in it.

Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑
Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:46 am

And why does Mr. Smarty Pants BF always have to bulletize everything?

Caus I'm a bullet farmer, mothafuckah.

And for your diarrheic significant other, I'll also be sending you a year supply of Dr. Jebediah Badfellow's Old Time Butt Plugs in mountain fresh scent.

Rachael Ray has a nice, simple 34 Layer Bean Dip you can whip up in 34 easy steps: *Fritos *Pinto beans *Doritos *Black beans *Cheetos *Kidney beans *Tostitos *Hungarian wax beans *Lays Wavy potato chips *Lima beans *Lays Dill Pickle potato chips *Great Northern beans *Combos (pizza flavor) *Green b...

.eyr fo edam dna rebma si yeksihw ehT

Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:20 am
Chiken n' a biskit! And I believe it was "disremembering".[/color]

Sorry, I forgot.

And when I was a kid, I remember it being spelled Chix n' Bizkits. Or maybe that was the name of my glam rock band back in the 80's. We opened for Vixen at the Iowa State Fair.

.egdol etihw eht ni akdov knird eW

I can't remember the last time Thirsty Drunk died in 1996 while drinking my booze. But I remember that alternate forgetfulness of memory imprint engram, sans dægling synapses. Unremembermentation. Alternate reality exploration is the olden new frontier of all that remains in our collapsing world. Tr...

Cheez Balls!!!
They won't kill you if you eat 'em
Cheez Balls!!!
So drunk and so hungry
Cheez Ball$?
Wouldn't you rather fry some bacon?
Cheez Balls!!!
Cheez Balls gonna get you,
Cheese Balls is you
It's you

A Weller 107 Manhattan. Straight up is the only way to fly, and the bartender is kind enough to leave the overage in the shaker next to my glass. I'd never wish to live in Manhattan, fun crowd as it is. Though I might live forever in this cocktail, a blissfully pickled, ultra-lobotamized self savant...

I remember back in the day when WalFart wuz just a lil' old blue general store in the sticks of Fort Smith. Get your varmin' ammo, smokes and a bottle of Fucktucky Deluxe, all beneath the same harsh, depressing fluorescent lighting. It's nice how Walmart includes minorities in their ads now. Lot's o...

Barleywine isn't dead. It's just been royally hosed by the rediculous popularity of high gravity IPA. Trust me, malty beers are due to make a return. This overly hopped rubbish can only stand for so long. R&C, you may have to take it upon yourself to accost the beer buyer of your local liquor hut an...

Samuel L. Jackson wrote:Muthafuckin stink bugs on a muthafuckin plane.

Rejoice, motherfuckers! Planter's Cheez Balls are back!

Proof: https://www.planters.com/product/00029000023864

buzzsaw wrote: ↑
Sun Jan 06, 2019 9:32 pm
While good intentioned, you bastards dont know stink bugs man. I'll keep on keeping on like I have been with these little bastards

Can you describe the odor of the afore mentioned stink bugs?

oettinger wrote: ↑
Sun Jan 06, 2019 10:53 am
In between constant drunkarrhea and listening to Megadeth, I have to get AD`s translated into german papers (she was married before, at a Tiajuana cockfight of all places) and her ex-husband is a professional Mexican wrestler named El Gordo Stinko.

I like this version better.

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