I've drunk to your health at roundups,
I've drunk to your health at home.
I've drunk to your health so damn many times,
I've almost ruined my own.

Lilly,

The best thing I can say is to get a lawyer.

Fear of a faulty breathalyzer and/or an intimidating boss should be a legitimate reason for not submitting to the test.

About the same as above, but a good source of W.C. Fields quotes....

http://www.louisville.edu/~kprayb01/WCQuote.html#A2