Another Solo Mission - Drinking alone? Post here!

[Hugh]

Awry? Doesn't sound like awry to me, sounds like you were given a gift.

[oettinger]

Solo drinking rocks! Your coworkers suck

[Hugh]

Drinking solo, and not starting until 9 at night. That's the trick to making sure I don't go out to the bars - wait until it's too late to start drinking. By the time I'm drunk enough to go out, it will be too late.

My problem is drunk Facebooking. The next morning I'm like, wtf did I do? Whoops! Sorry Auntie didn't mean for you to see that post! At least at bars where people are strangers, I don't give a crap what people think of me.

Solo missions are good cuz I can listen to embarrassing music and dance and sing and god knows what else and there are no witnesses. I can be my own strange self.

I heart the Lost Boys

My book club forum took away the edit button on posts because I would get up the next morning and delete all my drunken ramblings from the night before.

And it's true - I agonize of drunk posting as much as I do over stupid behavior in a bar. I've even thought about unplugging my wifi before I start drinking just to keep me off line.

[oettinger]

Well, modern drunkard boards live of undeleted postings

[RIPT2.0]

I've even thought about unplugging my wifi before I start drinking just to keep me off line.

Don't do that! Don't you EVER do that! You're one of the most entertaining people here.

[Hugh]

Don't know how the fuck I did it - but the box of Franzia Chillable Red that I opened yesterday is gone today. It says right on the box - 34 glasses. Either they're lying their asses off or I drink a hell of a lot of bumwine.

(And that includes popping allergy pills and pain meds.)

[Hugh]

But here's the thing though - if I drank that much in a bar, I'd be waking puking and hungover tomorrow and wishing I was fucking dead. I guarantee you I'll be able to get up bright and early tomorrow and get right to work - because I sat in here and drank alone. there's some kind of magic to solo drinking. The gods are on your side if you drink alone.

[Hugh]

You wanna know what the gods want you to do? I can tell you exactly what they want. It ain't repentance or chastity or a good work ethic. They want you to be able to sit in a room all alone and get drunker than hell. If you can do that - you are on the side of the angels. Nothing bad will happen to you when you drink alone.

[Hugh]

I don't want to hear other people's bullshit. I don't want to lay my bullshit on other people. Just me and the booze. Get that booze into my blood and brain with no bullshit. Me and the booze. No truer love anywhere.

[Hugh]

When I say that I don't want to go out there and drink with them assholes, that ain't quiet right. It ain't them that's the assholes - it's me. They all fit in together - they all get each other - they know what's going on. I know none of that bullshit. The world out there belongs to them. When I go out there, I'm intruding in their world. I don't know how to make greetings, to engage in small talk, to give a fuck about trivialities. It's nearly impossible for me to laugh at their trite jokes. I do the best I can when I'm among them. But the only place I really fit in is right here behind my own locked door.

[Hugh]

Last Thursday when I got kicked off the jury, I went to my favorite bar to drink. the nightshift bartender came in and as soon as it got slow enough, he came over to where I was drinking and laid it on me. He's sick of the stupid talkers that come in there and talk and talk and talk. I sat there and listened to him. I'm probably the first person who has ever sat and let him talk in all the years he's been bartending there. Something led him to me, a set of sympathetic ears to listen. It's those gods I mentioned before. Of course, as soon as I got drunk enough, I left him to go run my mouth at someone myself. That's the thing about interacting with people. We're all a bunch of selfish assholes. But at least he found someone to listen to him for once. He's probably been waiting for years to find someone to listen to him.

[RIPT2.0]

I totally get what you say Hugh. The last time I was at a bar I was waiting for my Sisters and my niece to show up because it was my nieces birthday, so I was going to buy them dinner. I got there early so I could have a few at the bar and I saw there was one potentially annoying character already sitting at the bar, so I made sure I parked my ass several bar stools away so he wouldn't try to talk to me. You could tell he was "that guy". This guy was perpetually running his mouth at the barmaid who just nodded her head as if she gave a shit what he was saying. You could tell he was a regular. Anyway, an older guy comes in and sits between myself and the big mouth. Sure enough, the big mouth starts yammering at the guy, telling him his life story, talking about how his family doesn't like him, etc, etc. The whole time the older guy just nodded his head and said very little. At one point big mouth asks the older guy, "I'm not such a bad guy, am I?". I almost threw up my beer. Finally, big mouth has to take a piss, so I turn to the older guy and tell him I think he's a very tolerant person because I would have back handed the big mouth by now and told him to STFU. He just laughed.

This is why I hate bars. Somebody who I would never want to talk to in a million years always wants to start a conversation with me. If I go to a bar these days I go at a time when I know there won't be many people there and sit as far away from other people as I can. As soon as somebody sits down next to me and tries to start a conversation, I'm out of there.

[oettinger]

I`ve been on both sides of the fence. Been talked to by hammersmashed-drunk idiots about their ridiculously plain and shitty lifes or being the idiot myself. The latter mosly because I was bored

[Nausea]

When I'm drunk I really don't mind entertaining the chatterboxes. It's when I'm undrunk that it's cumbersome.

The lesson to be learned: just get drunker.

[RIPT2.0]

Well, then there was this time I was at a bar just outside of Philly. I was playing pool with an attractive blond when this South Philly crew of wise guys shows up. They were obnoxious as hell and, under normal circumstances, would have probably been bounced ASAP. But the old guy tending bar knew who they were an acted just as if the POTUS just walked through the door, so I knew these guys were serious bad news. Turns out there was a mob war in South Philly at the time, so these guys were just hanging in the burbs to get out of the line of fire for a while. So this one guy starts talking to me, which completely blew my chances with the blond woman, because he acted like he knew me when I told him I was a truck driver who was passing through.

Well, blondie gets the chills and splits while I'm stuck talking to this asshole while one of his friends recounts a recent fight he had with an adversary where he bit the guys nose off (That's what he said. And I believed it). Then this guy starts telling me he works in a meat packing plant in South Philly and he's union (of course). Then he starts asking me if I'm union. I said damn straight man, I'm Teamsters ###. I had to say that or they would have beat the crap out of me when I tried to leave. Teamsters are the only ones to operate Philly or you're asking for it. But I was daring back then and willing to take risks.

Anyway, the guy got up to take a leak and I got the hell outta there ASAP. Sometimes you have to pick your fights.