Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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mistah willies
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by mistah willies »

givemesomepils wrote:
oettinger wrote:After work today my wrist hurts for whatever reason.
ah, i see you've been beating your meat to much.

That's nasty

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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by givemesomepils »

mistah willies wrote:
givemesomepils wrote:
oettinger wrote:After work today my wrist hurts for whatever reason.
ah, i see you've been beating your meat to much.

That's nasty
jebus chrisus sorry for upsetting you :P
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oettinger
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

Now my ankle hurts, go figure
It was liquid hence we had to drink it
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Patchez
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by Patchez »

oettinger wrote:Now my ankle hurts, go figure
Toe sex is better than no sex?
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

I don't get too badly hurt. A few knocks, scratches and bumps. Worst I ever had were the bruises on my arms when I was arrested and then restrained at the drunk tank in Poland. Sometimes I damage clothing which is a giant pain in the arse. My favourite shirt has a massive hole at the elbow. Oh the Humanity! Oh Dionysus why do you curse us? Injuries make for great stories, but clothing. No one wants to hear about that time when you ripped a whole in your shirt by using a wire fence for support.

Now lets get back to this drunkard ankle masturbation injury before I start tragically weeping into my glass.
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

Herman wrote:I don't get too badly hurt. A few knocks, scratches and bumps. Worst I ever had were the bruises on my arms when I was arrested and then restrained at the drunk tank in Poland. Sometimes I damage clothing which is a giant pain in the arse. My favourite shirt has a massive hole at the elbow. Oh the Humanity! Oh Dionysus why do you curse us? Injuries make for great stories, but clothing. No one wants to hear about that time when you ripped a whole in your shirt by using a wire fence for support.

Now lets get back to this drunkard ankle masturbation injury before I start tragically weeping into my glass.
Cigarette burns in my fav clothing is unnecessary and happens much too often
It was liquid hence we had to drink it
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

oettinger wrote:Cigarette burns in my fav clothing is unnecessary and happens much too often
I know your pain good sir.
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

In a bar full of drunks I lit my cigarette with a cheap ass give away cracklighter. Just threw the lighter in my shirt pocket and in a bit I smelled something. Cheap ass lighter didn't go out, lit me aflame, before I could get it out burned off my nipple and armpit hairs on my left side, along with ruining one of my favorite shirts . It was a cool shirt.
I was in a band at the time, we had just gotten off stage, some people thought it was part of the show and applauded.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger »

They that injuries happen ten times more often in your own household. Multiply that with not your own household, but your knee, and multiply again with a crowbar on a drunken monday morning. It hurts. I feel humang again after my first drinks
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Hall of Drunken Injuries

Post by Badfellow »

Here's a classy one to start things rolling...

There's a guy who lives in the 'burbs named Derek. We call him Derek the Dalek for the loud, droning voice he takes on after passing the half liter mark on a bottle of Wild Turkey. It seems that Derek was extra special stupid drunk once upon a weekend afternoon, and after having recently downed a lot of malt liquor needed to take a shit. That part proceeded without major incident. But apparently when he went to get up from the thunder mug, he over corrected in his balance, or more likely stumbled, and went barreling through the screen, head first, out the nearby open window.

You can imagine the surprise of the neighbors who were having a barbecue. "Oh, look honey. Here comes that drunk, dumbass Dalek from next door falling out the window into the juniper hedge with his pants around his ankles."

As for Dumbass Derek the Drunken Dalek, he's probably a pimp or a state senator by now with a scar in the middle of his primate looking forehead from where the juniper got a good dig.



What tell have you for The Halls of Drunken Injuries?
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Re: Hall of Drunken Injuries

Post by oettinger »

Badfellow wrote:
You can imagine the surprise of the neighbors who were having a barbecue. "Oh, look honey. Here comes that drunk, dumbass Dalek from next door falling out the window into the BBQ
The whitelife middleclass father called Bob (the one that sings every morning raising the star sprangled banner) screaming: " He Hit Our Burgers!"

Ità HAM again, that guy is toast!
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Re: Hall of Drunken Injuries

Post by oldsmartskunk »

I don't judge drunks, might they be smart or stupid. Anyone who drinks does stupid things from time to time.

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Re: Hall of Drunken Injuries

Post by oettinger »

oldsmartskunk wrote:I don't judge drunks, might they be smart or stupid. Anyone who drinks does stupid things from time to time.
Haha "from time to time", good one
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Re: Hall of Drunken Injuries

Post by Frankennietzsche »

I will have you know, sir or madam, that I have never injured, embarrassed or perjured my own self while intoxicated. I have acted above reproach and with a modicum of balance and poise. Top drawer, all the way.
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Re: Hall of Drunken Injuries

Post by Badfellow »

F. Scott Fitzbullshit wrote:I will have you know, sir or madam, that I have never injured, embarrassed or perjured my own self while intoxicated. I have acted above reproach and with a modicum of balance and poise. Top drawer, all the way.
Indeed, sir or madam. Indeed.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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