Drunkard's trip to the store

Generic Jug · Post by **Generic Jug** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 11:10 pm

DrunkenJackFlask wrote:Oh yeah, it turns me on, too. I've got a thing for short, drunk women. Actually, almost any kind of drunk woman, but short definitely has an edge.

I'm 5'3, and oh yes am I drunk.

DrunkenJackFlask · Post by **DrunkenJackFlask** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 11:24 pm

Generic Jug wrote:
DrunkenJackFlask wrote:Oh yeah, it turns me on, too. I've got a thing for short, drunk women. Actually, almost any kind of drunk woman, but short definitely has an edge.
I'm 5'3, and oh yes am I drunk.

Alright, now you;re just flat out tormenting me.

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 12:21 am

I fucking love to drink.
I love to feel my body and brain thaw as the first drink works its magic. The synapses sparking to life and limbs loosening.
The hangover becoming a distant memory.
The magic happening. The world gradually becoming a friendlier, happier place.
All the languages blurring into one.
Borders no longer making sense.
Ancient grudges forgotten.
Friends everywhere.
Starting the day with a large one (once the vomitting has stopped) seems to facilitate this process but results in me blacking out by lunch and passing out by mid-evening.
Therefore, since my everyday status can be very succinctly summed up by a Dead Kennedys' song, my thoughts on women are irrelevant. All I ask is for convivial company. But easy on the Finns, please.

bottomsup · Post by **bottomsup** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 1:02 pm

Generic Jug wrote:I really love that picture. It's so simple, yet well-framed, and speaks volumes. It'd make an excellent desktop wallpaper.

I've gotten to the point where I definitely recognize the cashiers when I go to purchase my vodka. I wonder if they recognize me. I wonder if they're jealous, or laughing, or maybe even disgusted. I wonder if it turns them on just a little, this short blonde chick who comes in on a regular basis and walks out with nothing but that $9 plastic jug.

Oh yes. I think it does.

works for me!

deadpuppiesandwhores · Mon Oct 06, 2003 1:54 pm

Palinka wrote:I fucking love to drink.
I love to feel my body and brain thaw as the first drink works its magic. The synapses sparking to life and limbs loosening.
The hangover becoming a distant memory.
The magic happening. The world gradually becoming a friendlier, happier place.
All the languages blurring into one.
Borders no longer making sense.
Ancient grudges forgotten.
Friends everywhere.
Starting the day with a large one (once the vomitting has stopped) seems to facilitate this process but results in me blacking out by lunch and passing out by mid-evening.
Therefore, since my everyday status can be very succinctly summed up by a Dead Kennedys' song, my thoughts on women are irrelevant. All I ask is for convivial company. But easy on the Finns, please.

that was beautiful.. my favorite part of the day is when you get that deep tingling sensation in your jaw from the first cold one of the day letting you know the pain will be over soon.

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:41 pm

Jimmy, your monster scares me. Make it go away. Please.

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:46 pm

I am short and drunk. Beware the surly dwarf.

Barca · Post by **Barca** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:49 pm

I love when the cashier says, "Oh, having a party?"

I always respond, "No, why?"

"You're buying so much, y'know?"
"No, I don't get it."

Unless she's cute, then I'll say "Sure, wanna come?" If she's foolish enough to believe a bottle of Jim Beam and three cases of beer is for more than just me and her, it's her own fault.

God of Chunder · Post by **God of Chunder** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:50 pm

Hey, mixing the ibuprofen with booze is isn't the way to go...the Jack is pretty hard on the ol' liver by itself. Time to change to aspirin and get back to basics!

deadpuppiesandwhores · Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:55 pm

barcalounge wrote:I love when the cashier says, "Oh, having a party?"

I always respond, "No, why?"

"You're buying so much, y'know?"
"No, I don't get it."

Unless she's cute, then I'll say "Sure, wanna come?" If she's foolish enough to believe a bottle of Jim Beam and three cases of beer is for more than just me and her, it's her own fault.

i pay my friend's wife to clean my apartment. the first time i came home as she was loading her car with her cleaning stuff and she asked if i had a party last night. i said no and was very confused until she pointed at the dumpster, and sitting in front was 3 large garbage bags full of beer and liquor bottles. i thought it was pretty funny but the next day at work her husband came up to me and said she wanted him to talk to me about my drinking but he wasn't going to bother. this is the same girl that tried to set me up with one of her friends and was more than a little irritated when i showed up tanked. once again, i thought it was funny, but some of my friends just don't understand my sense of humor. i guess some of these are just for me.

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:58 pm

At our oh so friendly local grocery, the cashier blurted out--wow, I think this is the first time I've ever seen you guys not buy any-------uh, uhm, Ice Cream! Of course she was going to say booze. I didn't want to break it to her that the competetitor across the street had cheaper Jack, and we'd loaded up there.

Barca · Post by **Barca** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 3:06 pm

There's never a reason to be ashamed of being recognized at your local. It's actually quite beneficial. I just moved next to a supermarket so I don't have a rapport yet, but when I had a nice local liquor store, they'd stock stuff on request, hold stuff for me, give me free swag.

If you get a good guy, he'll order stuff by the case for you and sell it to you at a discount if you buy it by the case. Saves him trouble, increases his volume sales, and saves you money. It's beautiful drunken symbiosis.

Same thing at bars, I can get my regular bars to carry all kinds of obscure stuff just because I drink it, because they know I'll drink enough of it to make it worthwhile.

Hugh Janblack · Post by **Hugh Janblack** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 3:10 pm

I agree - being friends with the liquor store guys is a great thing. I get shirts, cocktail bottles, they always hold gift packs behind the counter before they sell out for booze they know I like. They recommend some of the strangest stuff I have ever had and most importantly, they will stock dman near anything legal for me.

coqui_chris · Post by **coqui_chris** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 3:39 pm

This is why I hate Pennsylvania's Blue Laws. I couldn't buy Tylenol at the same place as I could buy Bourbon. Fuckin, I can't even buy BEER at the same place as I buy Bourbon!

And its definitely all about the recognition of being a regular. At the local 40 store I frequent starting in July when I moved to my new North Philadelphia reference, the price for a Coqui 900 40oz was $2. In September I went there already drunk looking to continue the good times and handed the Asian proprietor $2 for another. He handed me the 40 and a quarter as change, and I asked "what?" He said "Just for you, haha!" The next week there were signs up announcing "Coqui 900 - $1.75/40oz" The volume of Coqui's I'd been purchasing, which was heightened when my roommates moved in in the last week of August, was so great that the guy lowered his price to encourage us to buy even more.

Barca · Post by **Barca** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 3:46 pm

mmmmm.....invisible hand of the free marketplace......