The Bender Defined

A forum to post your thoughts about the art and beauty of getting loaded.

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Chugging Like Churchill
Chugging Like Churchill
Posts: 5065
Joined: Mon May 19, 2003 3:43 pm
Location: Buffalo, MN

The Bender Defined

Post by Oggar »

If a bender is under one week in length you should ignore most personal hygene. Change clothes only if the ones you're wearing become "soiled."

Hell if it's under a week it might not even be a bender. It could just be "a long week-end"

If you didn't fall at least once or aquire a Mysterious Alcohol Related Injury you may not call it a bender. It would then mearly be considered a tilt.

Large chuncks of time will be blurry and missing. No Blackout- no bender.

A bender is best done solo. This is no time for friends and family. You're on a mission of self discovery here. It's time to test your limits.

It's also no time to experiment always order "the usual." It's a repetetive motion, a conveyor belt, factory work. Boom! schuckschuck Boom! schuckschuck Boom! ad infenitium.

Employment is the natural enemy of a bender. If you want a real one spend those vaciotion days and say "Fuck Hawaii!" It's time to deplete the war chest.

A bender is a test of your mettle. There is a hierarchy of drinking and the bender stands alone at the top.

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I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.