dry wedding

A forum to post your thoughts about the art and beauty of getting loaded.

Moderators: NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies

User avatar
kowalski
King Cockeyed
King Cockeyed
Posts: 1585
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:37 pm
Location: England

dry wedding

Post by kowalski »

Possibly my greatest drinking challenge yet: drink my way through a dry wedding due to take place in 3 weeks time.

Am thinking 2 hip flasks. However, I'll have to plan the purchase (probably online somewhere) of some stronger than average booze. I very rarely see anything over 40% abv in shops. and given the limited capacity (~500ml) of my flasks (and the practicalities of carrying them), the stronger the better. I probably won't have a chance to refill unless I can come up with a devious plan (unlikely).

I could probably mix the stuff, so it doesn't need to be the greatest tasting booze - potency is what will count...
Snakebite & Blue Bols <-- The Drink of Champions

User avatar
Cowboy Joe
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 966
Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:00 pm
Location: Omaha

Re: dry wedding

Post by Cowboy Joe »

Everclear. Test it before you drink, to see how much, if any, you need to dilute it to get it down without choking. 190 proof has it's uses....

User avatar
Curb Feeler
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 585
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:57 pm
Location: Just below concrete on the Rockwell hardness scale.

Re: dry wedding

Post by Curb Feeler »

Dry wedding...

I'll take "Ways to ensure Curb Feeler will not attend said wedding" for $300, Alex.
Cell phones: The perfect way to keep in touch with distant friends whilst pissing off the ones sitting right next to you.

Shmoo
Chugging Like Churchill
Chugging Like Churchill
Posts: 5894
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 2:03 pm
Location: Canton, GA aka BFE

Re: dry wedding

Post by Shmoo »

Cowboy Joe wrote:Everclear. Test it before you drink, to see how much, if any, you need to dilute it to get it down without choking. 190 proof has it's uses....
Oh, it will need diluting. It's like paint thinner, but if potency is what you're looking for then that's the ticket. Other options would be 151 or the Sailor. Keep a fifth outside of the venue hidden behind the bushes and replenish when the time arises. Try not to fall in said bushes as the day wears on though. Good luck.
"next time i bust a load on the road, i'll try and save you a brick. " - Casino

User avatar
boozy
Booze Head
Booze Head
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu May 05, 2005 8:47 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: dry wedding

Post by boozy »

Shotgunning Absinthe is always a winner
"I wouldn't leave that rum sitting around out here with this group" - Harris from "Major League"

User avatar
slipperyyoke
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Posts: 1330
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:59 pm

Re: dry wedding

Post by slipperyyoke »

How about some Irish Potcheen/Poteen/Poitin?
The man who intoxicates himself on bad whisky is sometimes moved to kill his wife and set his house on fire, but the victim of applejack is capable of blowing up a whole town with dynamite and of reciting original poetry to every surviving inhabitant.

G_W
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 12239
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2004 9:36 pm
Location: Houston, TX
Contact:

Re: dry wedding

Post by G_W »

I recommend arson.


dry wedding my ass. fuckers.
steved wrote:Proof is just information.
"We're all in a freak show. It's called life. Buy a ticket and enjoy the ride." - Foamy the Squirrel

User avatar
mormonholocaust
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 252
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2008 10:35 pm
Contact:

Re: dry wedding

Post by mormonholocaust »

Just bring a bottle with you in the car, periodically realize you "forgot" something in the car, and go back to refill. Also, I _strongly_ recommend filling a flask with everclear; not for personal consumption, but for a sneaky spiking of the punch. Force the fuckers to allow fun at the wedding.
Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

FUCK TETLEY'S ENGLISH ALE

Shmoo
Chugging Like Churchill
Chugging Like Churchill
Posts: 5894
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 2:03 pm
Location: Canton, GA aka BFE

Re: dry wedding

Post by Shmoo »

mormonholocaust wrote:Just bring a bottle with you in the car, periodically realize you "forgot" something in the car, and go back to refill. Also, I _strongly_ recommend filling a flask with everclear; not for personal consumption, but for a sneaky spiking of the punch. Force the fuckers to allow fun at the wedding.
Never waste booze on unsuspecting people. That's simply a waste. The owner of the booze is obligated to satisfy his inner monkey first and foremost. Fuck the rest of the jungle.
"next time i bust a load on the road, i'll try and save you a brick. " - Casino

Labatt_50
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 507
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 2:59 pm
Location: Ontario

Re: dry wedding

Post by Labatt_50 »

12 of beer and a mickey of whisky in your trunk, trust me there wil be lots of others going out to the parking lot for "smokes". That should hold you when your flask runs out.

User avatar
evilChuck
Booze Head
Booze Head
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:31 am
Location: Seattle area

Re: dry wedding

Post by evilChuck »

Curb Feeler wrote:Dry wedding...

I'll take "Ways to ensure Curb Feeler will not attend said wedding" for $300, Alex.

Fuck yes...no way in hell i would attend anybodys wedding (even closest friends) if there was no drink available)

User avatar
Chimneyfish
Boozing Like Bukowski
Boozing Like Bukowski
Posts: 4025
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 1:22 am
Location: California

Re: dry wedding

Post by Chimneyfish »

What the fuck is a dry wedding?

I'm offended enough if I get invited to a wedding with any less than an open bar that doesn't allow tipping. How else can I be expected to sit through that bullshit?

Buy a five liter box of wine. Take out the bladder and duct tape it around your stomach. Connect a plastic tube to its spout and hide the other end under your collar. Classy drink for a classy occasion.
"I wasn't driving drunk, I was just over the limit." --Tracy Morgan

User avatar
TheBigCasino
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6453
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:02 am
Location: the golden age.
Contact:

Re: dry wedding

Post by TheBigCasino »

I'd go with three flasks of WT101, or maybe even the Rare breed. Strong, and you don't need a mixer.

and as a rule, I do not attend dry weddings. I remember when my best friend was planning her wedding, she was planning a dry wedding, i told her I would not be attending because she should know better. That shit went from a dry wedding to an open bar, it was mediocre though, a lot of vodka, very little whiskey, BUT, it was open, and fun was had.
BMMS is wrong.

LoJ 917

WWDJFD?

TravisBickle
King Cockeyed
King Cockeyed
Posts: 1633
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:23 pm
Location: Trading liquor for blood

Re: dry wedding

Post by TravisBickle »

This just further proves my theory that a wedding is nothing less than a day devoted to the bride torturing everyone she and her groom know. Some just go further than others.
Hate life all you want; it's still the best place to get a well mixed martini. - Palinka

if i were weromhg proper dootholes, the expreassionon your faxe would make me lk iy.. don't bother cZklllingm i gave a fiver to the chick with the wh9kzewrs. - bluebottle

User avatar
Frankennietzsche
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 12348
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
Contact:

Re: dry wedding

Post by Frankennietzsche »

Isn't the saying that weddings are the one that the bride's mother wanted.

I try not to go to weddings anymore. Luckily, all the Southern Baptists and Southeast Chrisitians that my family knows got married when I was young. I even missed my cousins wedding because it was before noon. Whiskey tango foxtrot?
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

Post Reply