dry wedding

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Two Hearted
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Re: dry wedding

Post by Two Hearted »

Isn't 'Dry Wedding' and oxymoron?

How in the hell is one supposed to get 'weddin drunk' at a DRY WEDDING for chrissakes?
I vote for the camelback. Fill 'er up, and just come up with some medical reason for the hump on your back....Or perhaps hide it in one of those pull along oxygen tank baskets some of the really old people use. Modify the face mask/oxygen tubes into a booze delivery system....No one will begrudge you your life saving "oxygen".

Shit, you're gonna need at least 4 flasks...Will your date carry a couple for you?

good luck! :-)
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Rooster
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Re: dry wedding

Post by Rooster »

The have a device called "the Beer Belly". I suggest you invest in a bigger jacket.

ivan
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Re: dry wedding

Post by ivan »

A Camelbak will not survive many boozings.

They kick ass for hydration, but they're tough to clean. And do NOT EVER put beer in them. They get funky in about 6 seconds.

I had a shot of WT 101 right before I got married. My bride was irate- because she was undrunk. Luckily, she soon rectified that. I'd seen kegstands before... but never a champagne-fountain stand.
nic the chick wrote:ivan and casino are right.

l...
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Re: dry wedding

Post by l... »

justice of the peace. case closed.
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

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peetie44
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Re: dry wedding

Post by peetie44 »

k37,

I've got a question.

As I can't think of too many people, outside of family, who would invite me to a dry wedding, am I correct in assuming this is a family (your own or in-law) affair?

If so, I can understand the need to attend, but also -- with family and/or in-law relations being what they sometimes are -- your possible need to get juiced; if only for self-preservation.

No matter, good luck to you!
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Lifer
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Re: dry wedding

Post by Lifer »

Clarify for me.


Is this a dry wedding in that they dont have a bar.


or is it a dry wedding in that they don't ALLOW alcohol?


Both seem sort of odd but...
Bundy wrote:"I say Rooster old bean! sally forth with another pair of pink gins for these jolly lovely gels and we'll see if they arent up for a spot of rumpy pumpy before we have to dash off and give Jerry another sound thrashing, what? Tally ho!"

****
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Re: dry wedding

Post by **** »

this thread title alone TOTALLY disturbs me.

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Re: dry wedding

Post by redshift »

Dry wedding? What the fresh hell is that?
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captain gonzo
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Re: dry wedding

Post by captain gonzo »

We should mob the wedding and bring booze along...

if the happy couple dont like free booze im sure as hell some of the guests will.
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MeanOldLady
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Re: dry wedding

Post by MeanOldLady »

kowalksi, don't! i've been in a dry wedding! (painful flashbacks) there was (pant) taffeta (gasp) powder blue .... and christian rock! it's not too late, there's still time. fake your own death if you must.

wait, goslings 151?
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Re: dry wedding

Post by happydrunk »

I agree with MOL - avoid it if you can. I got dragged to a dry wedding down in Virginia once and it was probably the lamest event I have ever been to. I think we ended up sneaking out to the parking lot to have a few drinks from the bottle, but that didn't really help since there wasn't much "fun" going on anyway. I think my hatred of Virginia is due to this wedding.
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WineGoddess
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Re: dry wedding

Post by WineGoddess »

kowalski37 wrote:Possibly my greatest drinking challenge yet: drink my way through a dry wedding due to take place in 3 weeks time.

Am thinking 2 hip flasks. However, I'll have to plan the purchase (probably online somewhere) of some stronger than average booze. I very rarely see anything over 40% abv in shops. and given the limited capacity (~500ml) of my flasks (and the practicalities of carrying them), the stronger the better. I probably won't have a chance to refill unless I can come up with a devious plan (unlikely).

I could probably mix the stuff, so it doesn't need to be the greatest tasting booze - potency is what will count...
Oh for F's sake just show up at the church and not the reception. Give the required present/money with the apology that they were all lucky the church didn't fall down on their heads because you attended.

If they object then ask them, "Isn't the most important part the ceremony?"
It has long been recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse of a good thing. - Abraham Lincoln

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WineGoddess
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Re: dry wedding

Post by WineGoddess »

I forgot, then show up at the nearest gin-joint and toast the bride and groom. If you are really polite and discreet, letting everyone know where you've been - most will come to join you.

I haven't read all of the replies so if this is a repeat of other advice...

GOOD!!!!!!!!
It has long been recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse of a good thing. - Abraham Lincoln

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5-Star
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Re: dry wedding

Post by 5-Star »

Getting totally smashed at events that are supposed to be "dry", is a hell of time.

Don't pretend you don't remember how fun it was to pound room temperature vodka before highschool dances, the same concept applies to movie theatres (also an excellent place to defy smoking bans), dry weddings, and mormon baptisms.

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Re: dry wedding

Post by Emperor Awesome »

Just got back from the reception, 15 G&T's later, popped open a Guinness, good morning!
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