The art of the art of drinking alone

[DeeboCools]

We all drink alone. Think of that moment when your buddy buys a round of Jameson shots and you're staring down the barrel of that sweet, brown nectar...is there anyone in the bar at that moment besides you? Of course not; there's only the booze & you.
Or when you top off your Miller Light with the last drop of the seventh pitcher while your buddy is taking a piss and you raise that glass up and drink a few gulps so it looks like all is even. Despite all the bar-chatter and pool table-clacking, you are drinking alone in those moments. Be proud of it. Draw strength from it. And by all means, recognize yourself as a true drunk...and not one of those loser 'alcoholics' who couldn't play the field.

correct.

[Insert A. Username]

I almost prefer to drink alone.

The drunk is an interesting creature. He or she is a person who has carefully and calmly examined the world around them, bringing a truly scientific eye to every aspect of their environment, and concluded, quite rightly I might add, that from the most beautiful sunset, to the most annoying fuckwit outside a supermarket, everything is better viewed through the joyous haze of alcohol.

In acknowledging that alcohol is the bringer of all that is good, we quickly realize that there is, if it can be avoided, no sense in sullying such a marvelous experience with all the awful rubbish life hurls at us. Sure it is useful for grinding through such crap, but the true drinker must aim to beat the grind so as to win one the time to drink with someone who actually enjoys it (themselves), in a place that's actually enjoyable (at home, or, at a pinch, in their local).

Take the work Christmas party. Most people will drink to enliven the interaction with their normally austere work mates. And it's true that alcohol is great for dulling the pain caused by your loathsome colleagues at said event. But using booze in this way implies that that main aim of the evening is to find a way to enjoy talking to those normally contemptible imbeciles you are forced to refer to as colleagues, rather than to get hammered. The drunk would never be so foolish as to waste alcohol on those pricks. He or she would simply turn up out the back of the convention center or bar where the event is being held, steal the booze, and head home to spend the night on the couch in their underwear, enjoying the fact that they are finally with someone who actually understands what constitutes unbridled joy.

[Bob Young]

So your tellin me that i can put anything i want down and somebody might read it?
Cool!
I hate it when you wipe your ass after you take a shit and then you look at your hand and somehow you managed to get shit all over your hand.
WTF?
Ive been doing this since i was 4 or 5. How the fuck do i still get shit on my hand?
Maybe I should stop fingering my asshole after i take a shit.
Using toilet paper might help as well.

[willerror]

We all drink alone. Think of that moment when your buddy buys a round of Jameson shots and you're staring down the barrel of that sweet, brown nectar...is there anyone in the bar at that moment besides you? Of course not; there's only the booze & you...

Beautiful, simply beautiful. Existentially perfect, even.

[Bob Young]

The question should be, should i finish this fifth or should i save a little for tomorrow.
Thank god for spell check. I spelled tomorrow, tomarrow.

[Bob Young]

Dear god in holy heaven im running out of ice cubes.
Save me Jesus!!!!!!!

[Bob Young]

What ever happeneded to the reverse microwave?

[Chimneyfish]

Dear god in holy heaven im running out of ice cubes.
Save me Jesus!!!!!!!

That's why you need to keep a bottle of one of those compressed air keyboard cleaners handy at all times. One of those things fitted into a cutout in a larger Gatorade bottle and you can make anything icy cold in seconds.

[Bob Young]

That right I was so full of rage I typed "happeneded".
What ja gonna do about it.
Queers.

[beerkegbilly]

It's a art form to it own self drinking alone. IS fun it leaves to my thoughts and way to end a long day

[NotDeadYet]

To be honest, there are quite a few assholes that I just don't want to sit down for a drink with, unless I've had a few on my own first. (And some wankers are impossible to face even then.) Think of those first few as "me time". But if the right people are around at the beginning, I don't mind giving up some me time.

Think about it. There are people I wouldn't invite to my house for dinner, or to watch a game. People I would't want to get stuck in a car with, on a long drive. If I decide to have a few drinks, and those are the only people available... why would I feel compelled to drink with them?

For that matter, everyone I know who drinks also has to pee. I wonder if the author would ever consider doing a pictorial series of people pissing alone? Do you think he would detect "a degree of loneliness", or "a certain amount of wanting to engage socially"? I've never wanted to engage socially while expelling my drinks. Why should I feel compelled to do so when ingesting them?

[beerkegbilly]

Hey when I'm drinking alone I can't beat up anyone.Better then dealing bullshit of another people

[Groggy]

Once I get past buzzed and into drunk, I can't stand most people. The inane conversation, crass flirting, shit taste in music or art or what have you. No. I need to recede into myself and surround me with the things I like and enjoy it all in solitude. Drunken, golden solitude.

[oettinger]

Once I get past buzzed and into drunk, I can't stand most people. The inane conversation, crass flirting, shit taste in music or art or what have you. No. I need to recede into myself and surround me with the things I like and enjoy it all in solitude. Drunken, golden solitude.

I`m the get loaded without people, engage with people when propely loaded, leave my youtube n me alone when shitfaced kinda drunk.

But most often I tolerate other drunks in my habitat.

[Artful Drunktective]

Once I get past buzzed and into drunk, I can't stand most people. The inane conversation, crass flirting, shit taste in music or art or what have you. No. I need to recede into myself and surround me with the things I like and enjoy it all in solitude. Drunken, golden solitude.

Agreed. This is why I try to limit my socialization with undrunk people. Boring meaningless chit chat. Quasi pretending like I care about a bunch of stuff I really don't care about.****Imagine the pain of being a woman drunkard. I have to constantly hear about retarded Soccer Mom girl problems= gossipy shit, children's dance recitals, the Kardashian's, getting "tipsy" on red wine drinking, always being invited to baby showers/wedding showers/all showers- all of which I do not care about, "mani's and pedis", something annoying about somebody's Facebook status, watered down strawberry Margarita's and boring appetizers like Bloomin' Onion's at Outback Steakhouse, Lifetime movies, women scorned rants... it's bloody awful.

There is a huge difference between being lonely vs. being alone.

Alone is a good thing.

**Nobody was harmed or kicked down Lush City's stairs...at least today.