The Rural Imbiber

[Mr. Viking]

I'm a country boy, at least I used to be, in the big smoke now, used to be a 15 minute drive from the closest candy shop, which is as far away as you can be in northern Ireland (it's about 70 miles across) Used to get on my bike when I was younger and cycle to it to get the Teacher's scotch at £10 a fifth and Glen's Vodka for £8. Cheaper than anywhere else at home. Now I'm in Glasgow, though, I can get teachers for about £14 in a supermarket, though my last bottle was £11. Loved how you could walk into any house on my street (we had about 15 houses in a row for some reason) and there would be a bottle on the table with everyone around it. The police also didn't go looking for drink drivers, which probably encouraged the drunkeness, though I agree drink driving is bad, but, if there's nobody to hit.... There was some sort of loophole in their eyes that if you were driving a tractor it didn't count. Remember a neighbour who was a drunk whose wife couldn't accept it so he became an alc*****c and was often to be seen on our school bus to the pub in the morning, then later running the country roads naked, and who, while looking after someones house drank 12 bottles of vintage Bollinger champagne. Obviously he was forgiven. I miss the country. Looking forward to spending the summer at home with my family

[Frankennietzsche]

I know the bartender better than anyone else in the world.

Do you?

[TheBigCasino]

That's right. The Kommissar's in town.

[Wingman]

That's right. The Kommissar's in town.

“Don't turn around, look, look,
the Kommissar is out and about!
He'll keep his eye on you
and you know why.
Your zest for life will kill you.”