The Bender Defined (Commentary)

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oneroundko
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The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by oneroundko »

The Drunken Songstress wrote:I agree with those that say it doesn't have to be for a whole week, but if its just waking up one morning and picking up from the night before thats more of a mini bender in my book. To me you'd have to get drunk in the morning, continue through the night till you pass out, wake up repeat, wake up repeat. Once you hit that third day and are still going, it officially becomes a bender. Also, you have to black out at least once a day 'cause anyone can slowly sip on a couple of drinks for a week straight.

A bender should be a grand adventure that no one can tell the tale of because they can't remember it for the life of them. But the drinking god's will know, and one day when we reach that big booze bottle in the sky, perhaps they will tell us.

I got an idea! Why don't we do what the martial arts people do and have some sort of a belt ranking system for the bender? Learning how to become a master drunkard is an art after all!

I had a couple nights where my dad had to come down and shut my Pink Floyd off because I had Division Bell on repeat too loud. I didn't even remember the next day that he told me.

It got bad though when I left a pizza in the oven and I almost burnt the house down--prior to which I was leaving burners on on the stove and I wasn't even aware of it. Now those are genuine bender issues there indeed.
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"Oh, the mini-tours, I played the whole thing drunk. Nobody knew. I'd ride around with my ice in the cart and J--- D------." - John Daly

bud717
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Post by bud717 »

Frankennietzsche wrote:Kudos. This goes a good way in the search for a working definition of a "BENDER." I think that the word gets too liberal a use.

One thing that I would add is some sort of guidelines as to what amount (all relative) of alcohol is required to constitute a 'bender.' It should be a sliding scale, but with a minimum.

"Oh, man...I've drank six days in a row; I'm on a bender." Wrong. If you've drank a ususal amount of alcoholic beverages, it's just drinking, it is not a bender. Somebody was saying something of being on a 1.75L a week 'bender.' If you normally don't drink every night and now you've gone seven days with three drinks a day; that is not a bender.

I guess it's just easier to define via negativa, which is how Aquinas defined, or attempted to define God. Coincidence?
One of the scenes in "Barfly" (one of the geat great drinking movies of the last 25 years) Buk (played by Mickey Rourke) is applying for a job. The interviewer (wearing black stockings and a short skirt) asks " there are a lot gaps in your employment history. To which Mick replies : Hey, it takes a real to make it without a job.": I wish a had the guts. . . . .

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Post by Dr. Dotto S. Blotto »

Palinka wrote:
Shot Time wrote:How does one go on a bender and keep one's self stimulated throughout the adventure?...
Booze. Lots of booze.
picking a country or area of the globe and traveling through their different boozes always works for me.

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Post by hoverdog »

It seems to me a proper bender is something akin to the asceticism of mystics. Subjecting the body to extremes will result in experiences we used to consider holy. Whether or not someone considers this a religious experience doesn't really matter, it's about transcending the flesh. It is an abyss some never return from (just consider the human ruins drinking window cleaner), but if you do, you will be a better person for it.
The last thing that anyone should ever do is feel ashamed of blacking out. You were trying to get drunk last night and, goddamnit, mission accomplished.

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Post by Oggar »

Say what you will. Here's my point in a nutshell.. Don't cheapen the term bender because your "impressive" feat of drinking for three days in a row doesn't measure up.

But the more I read the Barca quote that touched this off the less I agree with it. The bender will not provide the world, mankind, nature all seek to break the bender. Only your willpower and an ability for mechanical repetition can keep it going. Something that can tax the body, mind, and soul the way a real bender will, isn't easy. Once again the Old Man and the fish.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.

l...
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Post by l... »

who the fuck cares what others think about how much you drink, why you drink, when you drink, who you drink with, and what you drink (save for offensive brown-forman products) WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU DRINK.
now shut up, rise up, and BOOZE UP.
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

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Post by GSG »

liz... wrote:who the fuck cares what others think about how much you drink, why you drink, when you drink, who you drink with, and what you drink (save for offensive brown-forman products) WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU DRINK.
now shut up, rise up, and BOOZE UP.
Thank God for you. We're gonna party like it's 1499 when you get over here.
"Spiny norman wins on the bizzare terror stakes, if you haven't been stared at by a 40-foot hedgehog, you haven't lived." - Saltandgin

"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk

WWDJFD?

hoverdog
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Post by hoverdog »

While I'm sure most who read this thread are familiar with this, I still think there should be a link.

http://www.drunkard.com/issues/05_03/05 ... ender.html
The last thing that anyone should ever do is feel ashamed of blacking out. You were trying to get drunk last night and, goddamnit, mission accomplished.

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Post by Plumber »

"drinking all night and sleeping all day
I just blacked out my blues away
my underwear are soggy and my socks are crisp
knees all cut up, bruises on my fist"
-Bender
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"In Vomitus Veratis" - Hogbutler slogan

"Hope is fleeting, but a drink can always be refilled." -Badfellow

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Stiggs
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Post by Stiggs »

i don't know how long one should last, but i know once the booze ceases to have any effect it's time to shut 'er down.
I smell gas.....

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Post by Count Sporkula »

Stiggs wrote:i don't know how long one should last, but i know once the booze ceases to have any effect it's time to shut 'er down.
No, It's time to drink MORE!
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'till I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

Oggar
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Post by Oggar »

Yeah, this just in. At no point does booze stop working. If an elephant can get drunk so can you Stiggs. Stop beinf a wussy.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.

drunkpete77
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Post by drunkpete77 »

One time, I was in Los Angeles for 2 weeks. I was completely annihilated the entire time. Even when I came back to MN., I was still partying straight through for another four or five days.(I believe this is when I ran out of vacation money.) Blacked out every day, at least at some point, was 86'd from at least 5 or 6 bars in the LA area, and came home with bruises, scrapes, and a twisted ankle. It was all in good fun. Would you constitute this as a "bender"?
up the muthafuckin' partydawgs!

drunkpete77
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Post by drunkpete77 »

drunkpete77 wrote:One time, I was in Los Angeles for 2 weeks. I was completely annihilated the entire time. Even when I came back to MN., I was still partying straight through for another four or five days.(I believe this is when I ran out of vacation money.) Blacked out every day, at least at some point, was 86'd from at least 5 or 6 bars in the LA area, and came home with bruises, scrapes, and a twisted ankle. It was all in good fun. Would you constitute this as a "bender"?
P.S. The lack of funds was probably the only thing that put my good times to an end.
up the muthafuckin' partydawgs!

yubathetuba
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Bender

Post by yubathetuba »

As a public school teacher I define a bender as: "June, July, and August"

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