The Bender Defined (Commentary)

[ivan]

Well, Parrot, you seem to have violated one of the tenets of Modern Drunkardom.

You put keys in the ignition.

I am, as we speak, strapping fine Italian running shoes* to my feet, that I may walk to the local convenience store. It's only a quarter mile, and I could probably make the drive without issues. But I hedge my bets whenever possible, and this is one of those cases.

I shall stroll down the avenue and revel in my buzz, and not fear a DWI. And, besides, walking gives me the chance to talk with people. I might meet a friend, I might meet an enemy, I may not meet a soul. But it's part of the journey I'm willing to take.

*Diadoras. They are phenomenal. If you run, I cannot recommend these enough.

[drunken parrot]

I know longer drink and drive, and it took much pain to come to that rule...cheers!

[Oggar]

The DWI is another of the Bender's natural enemies. The Bender has many enemies and that is why they are so very rare.

[wakeless]

I think the basis of any definition of a bender should definitely involve the movies, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and "Leaving Las Vegas".

Certainly a bender can't end abruptly, often the end of it should not be able to be pinpointed, partly cause the brain is fuzzy, but also because you were eeking the last remnants of alcohol out of your cabinet and wallet for at least a couple of days.

[cornbread714]

I think the basis of any definition of a bender should definitely involve the movies, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and "Leaving Las Vegas".

Certainly a bender can't end abruptly, often the end of it should not be able to be pinpointed, partly cause the brain is fuzzy, but also because you were eeking the last remnants of alcohol out of your cabinet and wallet for at least a couple of days.

Hey wakeless, welcome, and you should introduce yourself by starting a thread in the pub. It's a tradition round here to "buy" a round for the house
Cheers! *clink*

[Modern Drunkard]

Damn straight. Benders define the drunkard. To use a military analogy, it's the difference between a soldier and soldier who's seen combat. Getting drunk is field exercises, a proper bender is going to war.

[theotherone7]

If a bender is under one week in length you should ignore most personal hygene. Change clothes only if the ones you're wearing become "soiled."

Hell if it's under a week it might not even be a bender. It could just be "a long week-end"

If you didn't fall at least once or aquire a Mysterious Alcohol Related Injury you may not call it a bender. It would then mearly be considered a tilt.

Large chuncks of time will be blurry and missing. No Blackout- no bender.

A bender is best done solo. This is no time for friends and family. You're on a mission of self discovery here. It's time to test your limits.

It's also no time to experiment always order "the usual." It's a repetetive motion, a conveyor belt, factory work. Boom! schuckschuck Boom! schuckschuck Boom! ad infenitium.

Employment is the natural enemy of a bender. If you want a real one spend those vaciotion days and say "Fuck Hawaii!" It's time to deplete the war chest.

A bender is a test of your mettle. There is a hierarchy of drinking and the bender stands alone at the top.

Very well put. I wish I could get around the employment thing

[greygoose]

If a bender is under one week in length you should ignore most personal hygene. Change clothes only if the ones you're wearing become "soiled."

I now have a mantra for the Con, like I needed it.

[wakeless]

Also, around here we consider 5 days on it to be called a "test match", you know like a game of cricket.

[Frankennietzsche]

I like "test match".

I had a thought: Perhaps we should start defining some of the other terms for periods of drinking, either long or short, heavy or light. Anywhere from "long weekend" to "career drunk". I think that it should probably be a seperate thread; whether it should be stickied or not is up to someone else.

A few example terms: binge, brannigan, carousal, carouse, drunk, spree, toot, jag, tear, bat, etc (I got these from various online thesauri.)

[WastelessPointOfTime]

If a bender is under one week in length you should ignore most personal hygene. Change clothes only if the ones you're wearing become "soiled."

Hell if it's under a week it might not even be a bender. It could just be "a long week-end"

If you didn't fall at least once or aquire a Mysterious Alcohol Related Injury you may not call it a bender. It would then mearly be considered a tilt.

Large chuncks of time will be blurry and missing. No Blackout- no bender.

A bender is best done solo. This is no time for friends and family. You're on a mission of self discovery here. It's time to test your limits.

It's also no time to experiment always order "the usual." It's a repetetive motion, a conveyor belt, factory work. Boom! schuckschuck Boom! schuckschuck Boom! ad infenitium.

Employment is the natural enemy of a bender. If you want a real one spend those vaciotion days and say "Fuck Hawaii!" It's time to deplete the war chest.

A bender is a test of your mettle. There is a hierarchy of drinking and the bender stands alone at the top.

Very well put. I wish I could get around the employment thing

Benders used to be the only reason I took vacation time.

[Grace O'Malley]

So, I have a week off, sort of. Starting next Saturday, 8/1/09. I need to be in somewhat working order to make a trip from Portland, OR to Seattle, WA on 8/6/09, without any tickets or collisions. I do intend on laying in a quantity of vodka, which I do like.
Any suggestions, y'all?

[Bob Young]

I haven't been on a bender since I got my job back. Tear. But when I lost my job and had a little extra cash that was the best 4 months of my life. Id drink from the moment I woke up till the moment Id fall out. The name of the game was "cheep rum", by the end of it all I had a kitchen counter drawer full of the caps from the handles I drank. I was gonna save the handles them-self's but room was beginning to become an issue. Nearly every piece of my cheep furniture in my crappy apartment was broken. Good times, and fuzzy memories (fuzzy = non-existent).

[ghostface1]

i've never enjoyed a bender. but i do think too many people like the idea of it, but should like and experience what is considered a 'lost weekend'.

i agree 100% that a bender has no specific date or time limit other than must be over a week, and i think this keeps us righteous.

HOWEVER

this is not a criticism or argument, merely a sad state of affairs: i fucking hate work. to anyone with the funds to enjoy a lifestyle racking up dough and consummating a life-long bender-ish love affair with the aqua vitae, i salute you. have a good-ish amount for me, will you?

[Bob Young]

I agree, work sucks. Heres to the man that can drink all day without a worry in the world.