Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

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Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Dear Booze » Wed Oct 16, 2013 8:45 pm

Okay, here are a few things that I really feel need to be done (at least once) while loaded... and a few things that should be avoided. You're welcome.

1. Speak with a foreign accent all night. After about five cocktails, it will start feeling natural and start becoming really funny.
2. Throw bottles, and/or anything else made of glass, into the street. Trust me on this one. You don't realize how fucking cool this is until you do it loaded.
3. Don't pull out your contacts list and decide to call that friend or relative you haven't spoken to in years. Not matter what you think, this is not the perfect time to say "I love you man" or "we really need to hang out more."
4. Do decide to go ahead a rearrange the bottles behind the bar. You can organize them by size, color, or alphabetically. It's a little know fact that bartenders love and appreciate this.
5. Do take the opportunity to intrude on other peoples conversations followed by a big sloppy hug while telling them how much you love them.
6. Don't shave your pubes
7. If the bar you're in does not allow smoking, light up a cigarette and ask for an ashtray.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Bobby Stout » Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:41 am

Cthulhu wrote: 2. Throw bottles, and/or anything else made of glass, into the street. Trust me on this one. You don't realize how fucking cool this is until you do it loaded.
.
Ah, lovely. You're one of the people who ensure I get a puncture on my bicycle every few months. Cheers!

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:49 am

Do not attempt "magic tricks" that involve fire.

At least, no more than once.
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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Mr. Viking » Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:46 am

I like all these things. Especially the glass and the smoking things. Mr. Stout, you need to get better tyres. i never get punctures, even when I go through glass
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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Bur » Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:16 am

Friend was insistent on that I had to learn some card trick while drunk. I managed to cut him over the eye brow somehow by accident with a card. I was referred to as "gambit" for a while after that.

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by ThirstyDrunk » Fri Oct 18, 2013 3:44 pm

Cthulhu wrote: 2. Throw bottles, and/or anything else made of glass, into the street. Trust me on this one. You don't realize how fucking cool this is until you do it loaded.
Well! I never.
To be fair, I'm drunker than you.

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:37 am

Do not operate any machinery more complicated than a corkscrew/bottle-opener (computers and mobile telephones, excepted).

I shitteth ye not!

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Oggar » Sat Nov 16, 2013 2:36 pm

One night when my buddy was still dating his now wife, of 10yrs- A few of us went out drinking we somehow ended up at her dad's house. I am completely at a loss as to why, we were there and it's bugging me a bit now. But my buddy and I were polishing off a case on the front step which I'm pretty sure was already out of line for the neighborhood we were in. So to make sure everyone knew we shouldn't be there we emptied the case and threw every god damned bottle into the street. Breaking glass is extremely fun when you're drunk.
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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Oggar » Sat Nov 16, 2013 2:40 pm

And I've never done a magic trick but I have lit myself on fire for amusement thousands of times. Try not to do that while hammered anymore because of the time I went to Wisconsin with the Prof. and had breakfast with his family with a blister on my forehead.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:07 pm

Damn. I was a good influence, for once (for a change).
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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by l... » Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:23 pm

I have some pictures of me lighting up cigarettes in the bar after the smoking law was in effect in ny. sitting on the pool table, which i'm sure the pool players LOVED. they are in my photobucket...must find. (oh, and I think I ashed on the floor.)
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by l... » Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:31 pm

Image
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

Image

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Oggar » Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:56 pm

Palinka wrote:Damn. I was a good influence, for once (for a change).
I think it was before your time actually. And I still do it while drinking I have just programed the autopilot not to do that anymore.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by Dear Booze » Sun Nov 17, 2013 12:45 am

l... wrote:I have some pictures of me lighting up cigarettes in the bar after the smoking law was in effect in ny. sitting on the pool table, which i'm sure the pool players LOVED. they are in my photobucket...must find. (oh, and I think I ashed on the floor.)
This makes me so happy and proud! Cheers Big Ears!
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Re: Things You Should and Should Not Do When Drunk

Post by l... » Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:06 am

damn straight. drinking(and smoking ) with me is a fucking adventure. didn't say it was right.
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

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