Epic idea!
Yes, please
Drunkard Rumble
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
-
mistah willies
- Drinking Like W.C.
- Posts: 6747
- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
- Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
- Contact:
Re: Drunkard Rumble
Hell YES they said when the drunks of the earth were asked to challenge the dry world in a so called „Salt of the earth“ match.
It`s pay per drink`s Roman „BarTrip“ Hormon and paied for view`s boring ass priest of the downtrodden Robert „sniffing glue“ McIrvine!
On the sidelines our main man Albert „Bloodfest“ Wilson
Hello and welcome drunks and drys where ever you may be right now.
Roman: It`s cold in here, isn`t priest Robert?
McIrvine: Oh yes it is (shiverrrr...), very col...
Ro: Sorry, my bad, left the fridge open grabing another one HAHA, I feel hot already from all this fuel!
McI: Very funny, now the rules plesa...
„punch to side“ move away
Ro: AAAAnddd now here are the rules, what is more essential to human life?
On one side we have the yessirs and water imbibers of sleep-long-die-boring island, hating everything resmebling fun and then it`s root. Christ would`ve called Jihad on these poor fuckers!
Weighting in at three pounds of dry bakin powder this crowd is only going by mean tricks and no facts. Their prisoners wish guantanamo was their last resort!
By sheer volume they might appear strong, but when has that ever fooled a true drunk?
And in the other corner swaying out of the bars from over our loud blue world, standing at a pounding 856 rounds in, here are your drunkestants.
The grace of drink
Silence for this moment of pure greatness please. These women and man are all well drunken war ridden. Their weapons you ask? A healthy thirst given at birth, a lighter, some highballs, and the mere hope of another glass!
They are a dedicated bunch!
Al: Yeah, Roman, seeing the drunks in the dressing room I can say they are in for a quick swill. There was agreement about squeezing them drys souls out and performing a cocktail out of...
No what is that, the drys come with a partner in crime, he is the king of all of health concerns, bastards, the fight is on...
It`s pay per drink`s Roman „BarTrip“ Hormon and paied for view`s boring ass priest of the downtrodden Robert „sniffing glue“ McIrvine!
On the sidelines our main man Albert „Bloodfest“ Wilson
Hello and welcome drunks and drys where ever you may be right now.
Roman: It`s cold in here, isn`t priest Robert?
McIrvine: Oh yes it is (shiverrrr...), very col...
Ro: Sorry, my bad, left the fridge open grabing another one HAHA, I feel hot already from all this fuel!
McI: Very funny, now the rules plesa...
„punch to side“ move away
Ro: AAAAnddd now here are the rules, what is more essential to human life?
On one side we have the yessirs and water imbibers of sleep-long-die-boring island, hating everything resmebling fun and then it`s root. Christ would`ve called Jihad on these poor fuckers!
Weighting in at three pounds of dry bakin powder this crowd is only going by mean tricks and no facts. Their prisoners wish guantanamo was their last resort!
By sheer volume they might appear strong, but when has that ever fooled a true drunk?
And in the other corner swaying out of the bars from over our loud blue world, standing at a pounding 856 rounds in, here are your drunkestants.
The grace of drink
Silence for this moment of pure greatness please. These women and man are all well drunken war ridden. Their weapons you ask? A healthy thirst given at birth, a lighter, some highballs, and the mere hope of another glass!
They are a dedicated bunch!
Al: Yeah, Roman, seeing the drunks in the dressing room I can say they are in for a quick swill. There was agreement about squeezing them drys souls out and performing a cocktail out of...
No what is that, the drys come with a partner in crime, he is the king of all of health concerns, bastards, the fight is on...
Drink!
Re: Drunkard Rumble
Its Doc Adiposity throwing his fat ass around, barely breathing he calls out the drunks for living the wrong way! Burger in one hand coke in another and his fat son on the back he gets kicked into his belly by, returning from a week long binge himself, head coach Drink Palette Palinka.
The giant is tumbling, now heady as always some drunks place an empty case of Urquell behind his gigantic feet/heels. But he seems to just step onto them.
But there comes Lady Savage, with a chocolate cake waiting for that fat-struck monster. Turned around by it`s nutty smell the gaint loses control, falls on his own collection of ancient food stamps and McDrive passer-by VIP tickets and chokes to a brutal death on his own sugary salad dressing.
While a big crane is ordered to remowe this discusting excuse of none drinking, shots are shared in the drunkards corner
The giant is tumbling, now heady as always some drunks place an empty case of Urquell behind his gigantic feet/heels. But he seems to just step onto them.
But there comes Lady Savage, with a chocolate cake waiting for that fat-struck monster. Turned around by it`s nutty smell the gaint loses control, falls on his own collection of ancient food stamps and McDrive passer-by VIP tickets and chokes to a brutal death on his own sugary salad dressing.
While a big crane is ordered to remowe this discusting excuse of none drinking, shots are shared in the drunkards corner
Drink!
-
mistah willies
- Drinking Like W.C.
- Posts: 6747
- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
- Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
- Contact:
Re: Drunkard Rumble
oettinger wrote:...
On one side we have the yessirs and water imbibers of sleep-long-die-boring island, hating everything resmebling fun and then it`s root. Christ would`ve called Jihad on these poor fuckers!
Weighting in at three pounds of dry bakin powder this crowd is only going by mean tricks and no facts. Their prisoners wish guantanamo was their last resort!
By sheer volume they might appear strong, but when has that ever fooled a true drunk?
...
Damn fine color good man
Heheheee yessah
Re: Drunkard Rumble
Albert Wilson:
While you were talking Ro, not seen by the camera Screwball performed a Frankennietschen Sideswipe-Highball on very deserving „12 stepper Bob“. Whose eyeball flew right into Laheys bourbon lap, still he put it down as if nothing happened. Now that is called a cherry on the sunday!
While you were talking Ro, not seen by the camera Screwball performed a Frankennietschen Sideswipe-Highball on very deserving „12 stepper Bob“. Whose eyeball flew right into Laheys bourbon lap, still he put it down as if nothing happened. Now that is called a cherry on the sunday!
Drink!
Re: Drunkard Rumble
Now DearBooze and Booznik are starting to play putting golf with the last balls seen in dry country since columbus tried to invade australia. That HAS to hurt. Think of Mahatma Ghandian devotion theese two put out to drink.
And still, without rum the crown wouldn`t be rich on undrinkable gold!
But what is that? Are the dry sending a taliban weapon of massdryfunction already. NO. It`s your flight captain steered to the real takeoff by MistahWillies. Now we can both travel by train, land or ethyl and have a talk over the essentials of life: no need of a plane to fly ziddow!
Where`s is McIrvine btw you ask? Looking for his bible to raise his finger, but poor bastard tried to find it in Mr. Patchez long beard thinkig he was Joseph or so. Wrong, he got thrown into BadFellow`s direction who was just going to light his pipe with it. Not as wet as Maria`s bed sheets he said while passing the pipe in comfort.
All this is happening whilst Viking is just headed into an all out barbrawl with the „Cucumber Boys“. He bets two full yards on their smelly yogurt-banana drinks.
And baaaammmm, while having finished the yards and changing a truck tire Viking hit „Cucumber Boy Leopold“ right in the spine with his crowbar.
But still Treetop comes to his aid and launches his empty collection of 300 pounds of emptied bottles right through „Cucumber Boy Alfried`s“ face!
AW: Still only blood on the dancefloor containing no alcohol. The drys are a horde though attacking by daylight on cheap TV and bought massmedia, hope the drunk are prepared for „Strike at dawn“ on general hill`s home chelter channel. One tactic they borrowed from Hitler is running random episodes of scrubs and see them drink oneselfes to death!
Is there hope at the bar? Who might that be?
That and al lot more stupid shit that randomly fills your life in the next episode of Drunkard Rumble, presented by Vodka-butter
Tbc...
And still, without rum the crown wouldn`t be rich on undrinkable gold!
But what is that? Are the dry sending a taliban weapon of massdryfunction already. NO. It`s your flight captain steered to the real takeoff by MistahWillies. Now we can both travel by train, land or ethyl and have a talk over the essentials of life: no need of a plane to fly ziddow!
Where`s is McIrvine btw you ask? Looking for his bible to raise his finger, but poor bastard tried to find it in Mr. Patchez long beard thinkig he was Joseph or so. Wrong, he got thrown into BadFellow`s direction who was just going to light his pipe with it. Not as wet as Maria`s bed sheets he said while passing the pipe in comfort.
All this is happening whilst Viking is just headed into an all out barbrawl with the „Cucumber Boys“. He bets two full yards on their smelly yogurt-banana drinks.
And baaaammmm, while having finished the yards and changing a truck tire Viking hit „Cucumber Boy Leopold“ right in the spine with his crowbar.
But still Treetop comes to his aid and launches his empty collection of 300 pounds of emptied bottles right through „Cucumber Boy Alfried`s“ face!
AW: Still only blood on the dancefloor containing no alcohol. The drys are a horde though attacking by daylight on cheap TV and bought massmedia, hope the drunk are prepared for „Strike at dawn“ on general hill`s home chelter channel. One tactic they borrowed from Hitler is running random episodes of scrubs and see them drink oneselfes to death!
Is there hope at the bar? Who might that be?
That and al lot more stupid shit that randomly fills your life in the next episode of Drunkard Rumble, presented by Vodka-butter
Tbc...
Drink!
Re: Drunkard Rumble
Watching old Ozzy footage I found my costume on ebay
I call it big balled vodka flask in red.
I call it big balled vodka flask in red.
Drink!
-
Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10726
- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Re: Drunkard Rumble
Lesser Known Engagements in Naval History
Capt. Oettinger had been given command of The Ignoramus, an 18 gun pickle bucket crewed by Angela Merkel stripper/impersonators and stocked with ample supplies of cheap, German beer. Oettinger was a keen study of the treacherous shoals and unpredictable currents in the vicinity of Blackout Island. He had been wearing the same underwear for days when the call finally came down from the crow's nest. His dreaded nemesis, the rogue privateer Capt. Willies, was sighted prowling the waters off the coast of Peebeearia.
Capt. Willies was no slouch himself. His vessel was the notorious canoe of the line Old Liquor Sides, and while he was not as well gunned as his mud-butted German adversary, his armaments were capable of flinging moose flops at close range to devastating effect. Willies strategy was to drink rum and pass out in the sun for five hours, waiting patiently for The Ignoramus to close within distance of a dung salvo.
Meanwhile, Oettinger made skillful navigation of the room temperature vodka currents running through the perilous Shart Passage. His underwear was suffering from a severe case of “the brown scurvies”, his Merkel sluts were becoming mutinous and frowning a lot, and he was almost out of cigarettes. Still, Oettinger was determined to press his advantage.
“Fire!”
The skies were suddenly dark with moose poop. The snoring, belching and farting had all been a ruse. Old Liquor Sides caught The Ignoramus dead on in the infamous Hasselhoff maneuver, unsuspectingly raking Oettinger and his crew of crusty gingers with a thick barrage of 'Nobscot bog pucky.
“Strike your colors, scurvy shorts!”
“Never!” cried back Oettinger defiantly from amidst the carnage. “I've seen worse! I have the largest collection of vintage East German porno this side of the Rhine!”
And with that declaration, Capt. Oettinger ordered the pickle bucket to ramming speed, and in the colliding, cataclysmic cacophony of doppelganger Merkel whores and empty bottles of Kraken, the two vessels broke up and were swallowed whole, down, down, down into Neptune's drink. Oettinger and Willies were found washed up on the sandy beaches of Blackout Island where they eventually started a luxury resort for people who drink way more than you.
Capt. Oettinger had been given command of The Ignoramus, an 18 gun pickle bucket crewed by Angela Merkel stripper/impersonators and stocked with ample supplies of cheap, German beer. Oettinger was a keen study of the treacherous shoals and unpredictable currents in the vicinity of Blackout Island. He had been wearing the same underwear for days when the call finally came down from the crow's nest. His dreaded nemesis, the rogue privateer Capt. Willies, was sighted prowling the waters off the coast of Peebeearia.
Capt. Willies was no slouch himself. His vessel was the notorious canoe of the line Old Liquor Sides, and while he was not as well gunned as his mud-butted German adversary, his armaments were capable of flinging moose flops at close range to devastating effect. Willies strategy was to drink rum and pass out in the sun for five hours, waiting patiently for The Ignoramus to close within distance of a dung salvo.
Meanwhile, Oettinger made skillful navigation of the room temperature vodka currents running through the perilous Shart Passage. His underwear was suffering from a severe case of “the brown scurvies”, his Merkel sluts were becoming mutinous and frowning a lot, and he was almost out of cigarettes. Still, Oettinger was determined to press his advantage.
“Fire!”
The skies were suddenly dark with moose poop. The snoring, belching and farting had all been a ruse. Old Liquor Sides caught The Ignoramus dead on in the infamous Hasselhoff maneuver, unsuspectingly raking Oettinger and his crew of crusty gingers with a thick barrage of 'Nobscot bog pucky.
“Strike your colors, scurvy shorts!”
“Never!” cried back Oettinger defiantly from amidst the carnage. “I've seen worse! I have the largest collection of vintage East German porno this side of the Rhine!”
And with that declaration, Capt. Oettinger ordered the pickle bucket to ramming speed, and in the colliding, cataclysmic cacophony of doppelganger Merkel whores and empty bottles of Kraken, the two vessels broke up and were swallowed whole, down, down, down into Neptune's drink. Oettinger and Willies were found washed up on the sandy beaches of Blackout Island where they eventually started a luxury resort for people who drink way more than you.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: Drunkard Rumble
"Dung salvo" made me almost spit out my drink.
While getting drunk sunburns on the beach, Willies and Oett were suddenly woken up by a crushing sound.
It was Admiral Badfellow steering his submarine Pink October belly up against the nearby wet bar again.
This happens atleast twice a week.
"Haha" Willies shouted, "do you think he will make it this time?"
Still confused looking at the sky the Oett mumbles "No, I think god still has no clue where the real party is at" and passed out again.
Willies, the nice gentleman he is, threw another alcohol-filled lifesaver into the ozean which was quickly spotted by Amiral BF.
"Put this cigar in that hole" he ordered his by this point tired of wild inexplicable orders crew. "I want this hole in the ozean plugged by noon". He took a last look into his periscope, shaking his head "This place is watered from top to bottom". He then told his first crewman to flush more icecubes in the toilet. Still unable to figure out that they were upside down he shouted: "Ok, if the sun doesn`t want to greet us again, I for sure won`t do her that favor either!"
After that he disapeared into his bunk swaying his half finished rum bottle behind his head "And don`t forget to ram that stupid island out of the way! We`re almost on blackout..."
While getting drunk sunburns on the beach, Willies and Oett were suddenly woken up by a crushing sound.
It was Admiral Badfellow steering his submarine Pink October belly up against the nearby wet bar again.
This happens atleast twice a week.
"Haha" Willies shouted, "do you think he will make it this time?"
Still confused looking at the sky the Oett mumbles "No, I think god still has no clue where the real party is at" and passed out again.
Willies, the nice gentleman he is, threw another alcohol-filled lifesaver into the ozean which was quickly spotted by Amiral BF.
"Put this cigar in that hole" he ordered his by this point tired of wild inexplicable orders crew. "I want this hole in the ozean plugged by noon". He took a last look into his periscope, shaking his head "This place is watered from top to bottom". He then told his first crewman to flush more icecubes in the toilet. Still unable to figure out that they were upside down he shouted: "Ok, if the sun doesn`t want to greet us again, I for sure won`t do her that favor either!"
After that he disapeared into his bunk swaying his half finished rum bottle behind his head "And don`t forget to ram that stupid island out of the way! We`re almost on blackout..."
Drink!
Re: Drunkard Rumble
The Human Buzzsaw aka Iron Drunk Thisrty enters the building.
When fans smell Thirst is coming, an approar goes through the stadium.
And what is that?! Right into the action he goes and eats! some lithanian bystander!!!+
Bon appetite drunk giant!
The world is his right now and,,,
Wow Badfellow untercut his knees with a barstool
ouch
Oh no, those whacky germans are using his ugly head as a soccerball now.
A spent afternoon for Thirsty so far!
Is that an empty kraken bottle 'Willies is gonna smash on Thirstys ball`s
It looks like it
Aaaand bam
Willies killed his skype... What a twist of events, how could a drunk man miss these balls?
While we are still debating The buchter of California, also known as the killer that killed the zodiac killer, aka Mr. Unstable, Mr You better look at someone else, DEAR BOOZ
Frankly, this guy tapes everything. It`s no coincidence his fellow massmurderers call him the Big Pervert.
And swooosh an empty bottle thrown our direction, stupid enough it hit poor Thirsty right in the face as he was going to collect himself!
If I was Thisrty I`d hit the lottery now, it can`t get any worse than that.
And as we talk he`s passed out and gets raped by horde of stray dogs.
Oh my, lets pray for a big comeback in the next round. Never count out Thirst. Stay tuned
When fans smell Thirst is coming, an approar goes through the stadium.
And what is that?! Right into the action he goes and eats! some lithanian bystander!!!+
Bon appetite drunk giant!
The world is his right now and,,,
Wow Badfellow untercut his knees with a barstool
ouch
Oh no, those whacky germans are using his ugly head as a soccerball now.
A spent afternoon for Thirsty so far!
Is that an empty kraken bottle 'Willies is gonna smash on Thirstys ball`s
It looks like it
Aaaand bam
Willies killed his skype... What a twist of events, how could a drunk man miss these balls?
While we are still debating The buchter of California, also known as the killer that killed the zodiac killer, aka Mr. Unstable, Mr You better look at someone else, DEAR BOOZ
Frankly, this guy tapes everything. It`s no coincidence his fellow massmurderers call him the Big Pervert.
And swooosh an empty bottle thrown our direction, stupid enough it hit poor Thirsty right in the face as he was going to collect himself!
If I was Thisrty I`d hit the lottery now, it can`t get any worse than that.
And as we talk he`s passed out and gets raped by horde of stray dogs.
Oh my, lets pray for a big comeback in the next round. Never count out Thirst. Stay tuned
Drink!
-
ThirstyDrunk
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12700
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
- Location: Xenia