Shot Wars

[Patchez]

Ever run into a guy at the bar who liked buying shots for everyone? I love that guy, whoever he is.

Ever run into his polar opposite? The asshat that thinks it's funny to buy strangers a shot of the nastiest most heinous shit he can dream up? Yeah, I hate that prick. This was a bit of a problem in our area about a decade ago. Young wannabe funny guys were doing some sort of shit shot wars. they'd brag to their equally douche buddies about how many people they got to drink the ass sweat shot they had come up with.

We, my crew, did some internet research looking for the nastiest shot you could think of so we could return the favor. Of course not being dicks and wanting to make sure these fuckers were as nasty as they clamied, we sucked it up and tired the recipes we found.

It was not a pretty Saturday night. We had found about 10 recipes. We brought plenty of good booze to was the turd taste out of our collective gullets in between rounds.

I can't remember all of them but two still haunt me. The Cement Mixer and the Battery Acid.

The Cement Mixer.
A shot of Bailey's Irish Cream and a shot of Bacardi 151 in individual shot glasses.

Shoot one after the other, not swallowing but holding both in your mouth, swish around vigorously while shaking your head violently.
The high ABV in the Bacardi curdles the Bailey's turning it into a vile paste.

The Battery Acid.

A half a shot of 151 and half a shot of Jagermeister in the same glass. Shoot it. Not sure how it works and I've never actually tasted battery acid but this fucker is as close as I want to come.

These two shot were used to return the DIQs (Dicks In Question) nasty shots. Shit calmed down pretty quick after that.

[Bluto]

Sounds familiar. Reduce the 151 by half and replace with lemon juice. That's the cement mixer in my neck of the woods. A common shot used to fuck with people on their 21st birthday.
That's not my bag, baby. I always preferred to buy random people something easier to handle and more pleasant. A straight shot of Tuaca, for example. Things like cement mixers, bloody fetuses, and gorilla farts were held out for absolute assholes that deserved some comeuppance for prior bad deeds
This was especially true when I was the guy working behind the bar. No need to piss off/scare new drinkers and potential drunkards\tipping customers. We also had a pretty straight forward policy about other people buying such shots. If you buy and you puke, you not only get kicked out but you clean up your own puke first. Same things goes if you are trying to torture another person.

[Patchez]

Sounds familiar. Reduce the 151 by half and replace with lemon juice. That's the cement mixer in my neck of the woods. Things like cement mixers, bloody fetuses, and gorilla farts were held out for absolute assholes that deserved some comeuppance for prior bad deeds.

That is exactly what we used ours for, utter assholes or to torture the torturer.
So what goes into a bloody fetus and a gorilla fart?

This was especially true when I was the guy working behind the bar. No need to piss off/scare new drinkers and potential drunkards\tipping customers. We also had a pretty straight forward policy about other people buying such shots. If you buy and you puke, you not only get kicked out but you clean up your own puke first. Same things goes if you are trying to torture another person.

This is a sound practice that all bars should hold to. Sadly their are some younger douche bartenders who think the torture is funny.

[rivuxgamma]

I've had a few. The most notorious one (among my friends) is here: http://www.drunkard.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=69100

It probably led to the ½ everclear and ½ pepto bismol shot
½ Stoli Blueberi and ½ Absolut Peach. I thought it would be good, but it tastes like bug spray.
homemade moonshine was probably the worst