Convention

[Casual Binger]

So, I'm attending a convention in Brisbane in a couple of weeks. Just a one day affair, so I'll get up early n drive up, but gunna get a cheap room for the night as I've the next day off. The thing wraps up with an hour n a half of networking drinks, but I'm sure I'll be getting on the sauce long before then. I've toyed with the idea of taking a hip flask of whisky, but it's probably more fun to duck out n go to the pub, attending just enough sessions to make the trip worthwhile. The only really essential one is scheduled before lunch, which sugests HP know what to expect from their customers.

I'm curious, what are people's experiences of boozing in conferences? I mean while attending presentations. Obviously I could use a flask to spike coffee or coke or something, but don't really go for those kinds of sweet drinks. Whisky n soda in a lidded takeaway drink cup with a straw would be nice, but is not commonly available as a pre mixed drink in Oz, n probably too much effort too make my own in sufficient quantities n keep cold. What would be really nice would be to kick back after lunch with a few beers, but again there's the issue of refilling n keeping cold. Hence my fallback plan of a few well timed visits to the pub. When scouting for likely venues nearby I happened upon this place. The Porter Freeway looks good. Probably pretty pricey, but since the joint is open from 7am it might be just the thing to revive me from my early morning drive up.

[Mr. Viking]

don't piss yourslef. You won't be taken seriously. Get as drunk as you feel comfortable with. Don't forget you are putting on a performance. If you can drink during it and get away with it, all the better

[Casual Binger]

I'm not presenting. I could not even turn up n it wouldn't make a difference. I'm keen to try the whole soda cup thing just for the fun of it.

[oettinger]

Well then go with a big thermos jug, half coffee half brandy.

Many years ago I went to this further educational thing with thirty or so coworkers. I drank through the night before and almost oversplet after only two hours of sleep. The complain through the first day was my feculent vodka smell. A beer or two during lunch didn`t move the needle that much going from there. Mind you, I was actively trying to get fired, cause when you quit on your own the german welfare office will hold this little fact against you.

[Palinka (RIP)]

Use the old trick, as pioneered by W.C.Fields. Buy a lot of fresh oranges and, usining a syringe and hyperdermic needle (tell the pharmacist that you are Diabetic and your syringes and needles have been lost), inject vodka into each orange, until you have finished the bottle (tip: extract some juice from each orange before injecting the vodka; this will allow you to add more vodka with less leakage). Once you have done, place the oranges on a shallow dish, so any leakage from the oranges won't go to waste, and place the dish into a refrigerator overnight.
In the morning, place the oranges into a plastic, sealable, container (preferably with some sort of reusable ice-pack) and munch away, during the seminar, on "Screwdriver Grenades". If anyone questions your constant citrus-fruit grazing, use the Diabetic excuse again.
This should keep you nice and buzzed throughout the conference. So, go to, and good luck!

Cheers!

[Casual Binger]

My brother once tried that injecting oranges thing when he was in med school. As I recall it was very time consuming n you couldn't fit much vodka into each orange segment. Quite fun though. In the end we all just ended up drinking the vodka n chasing it with uninjected oranges pieces.

I think I'm gunna go the path of least resistance with the convention, which will be to buy some of those 50ml airplane bottles. They are not cheap. Three Glenfiddichs (12, 18, & 20) for $25 or four Absoluts (various flavours) for $20. You can sometimes get packs of them on special if you spend over a certain amount at certain bottle shops, so I'll keep an eye out. I'll stop at a motorway McDonalds on the way up n buy the largest size coke they sell, then keep the cup. All I need then is a couple of cans of soda water n I'm sorted.

[Casual Binger]

The thermos of coffee brandy is actually a pretty good idea, too bad I don't like brandy.

[Mr. Viking]

The thermos of coffee brandy is actually a pretty good idea, too bad I don't like brandy.

rum in tea is lovely, or in coffee. And cakes. In just about anything I suppose

[Palinka (RIP)]

...once tried that injecting oranges thing...it was very time consuming n you couldn't fit much vodka into each orange segment...

Which is why I suggested removing some of the juice from each orange first.

[Casual Binger]

It looks like a large coke from maccas is between 5-600ml. Should work well with a 500ml can of beer. Not looking to get smashed, mind, just looking forward to the thought of enjoying a brewski or four n knowing I've got an evening in the big city ahead of me.

[Mr. Viking]

I've found that the fast food drinks cups leak if you reuse them, but it takes a few hours

[mistah willies]

Ah. The almighty convention. That invites the lovely forbidden fruit maxim that is quite enjoyable to pursue.

The risk of getting caught might cause spurious and long-lasting damage to one's reputation, if considered form the vantage of them Drys out there, those nannies.

For we Modern Drunkards, it is only because of them Drys and their curious interest in dampening the joie de vie of others, that we can find pleasure in thwarting their evil intentions. Oh hells yes, you will have such fun.

I like the idea of the injected oranges simply because it is like spy-work. Clandestine. The idea of such preparation distills down to two important considerations, which are these, in my own opinion:

1. The ritual before each DRINK lengthens the anticipation of the actual ingestion. That's why a Martini is so pleasurable. It takes some effort, instead of simply making a "mouth-tini" which I have done periodically. The amount of ritual relates directly to the next consideration:

2. Style. By no means am I a snob when it comes to Draaanking. Instead, the idea of ravaging oranges laden with vodka while in the company of Drys speaks of class and surreptitious enjoyment. It is an affront to them Drys, and the possibility of getting caught is highly enjoyable. It'd be funny if a Dry asked for one of your oranges.


However, your idea of shotties is also adept. Albeit less preparation, but succinct in its intention.


In 'Murrica, we have a variety of fast food soft drink containers. Many are waxed paper, and indeed, those will leak. The largest ones are made form polystyrene, and those are sturdy.

The oddest ones, and yes, they still exist and are still used, are from compressed Styrofoam pellets. Very spongy. Killers of the ozone layer.

Odd simply because those tiny pellets will bleed out ethylene between their weak mechanical bonds. To wit: I was at the beach in Maine with buddies during college when I used those odd vessels for the first and last time. Solo cups are canon for college. We poured vodka and fruit juice into our Styrofoam cups over ice.

I noticed that the sand beneath the cup was damp, and my DRINK was disappearing faster than I was consuming it.

Was there some thirsty creature in the sand beneath us, stealing?

I thought that the condensation outside of the cup was form the difference in air temperature and my lovely beverage. Until I smelled my hand. It was pure vodka!

Yes, the sugar and water molecules stayed inside the cup, and the lovely Miss Ethyl was trying to escape! I licked the outside of my cup and proved this to myself.

Anecdotal data, of course, but good enough for me to never use those cheaters again, those Styrofoam cups.


Good on you, Casual Binger. The almighty convention offers many forbidden fruits, and public imbibing is one of the best things to do there.

Sláinte!



.

[Casual Binger]

You raise some good points. Just last night I was thinking about people who lose their jobs because they post on Facebook that they spent their sick day at the beach. So, I've decided to err on the side of paranoia by removing my photo from my avatar. It needed updating anyway. I would further like to state that all these musings are purely hypothetical. These things are true: I shall attend the conference. I will get some value out of it. I will be undrunk when they start serving drinks at 4:30pm. I will not discrace myself or my employer.

Thanks for the warnings about paper cups.

[Palinka (RIP)]

For a wealth of stealth hooching, read the Modern Drunkard Magazine article, "Juicing on the Job".

Now, go to and make us proud (and if you can remember any good stories, please share them upon your return).

Have a great Conference and hit the "Free Bar" as often a d as hard as you can.

Cheers,
Your friendly neighbourhood moderator.

[Patchez]

Tie Flask

That is all. Only holds six ounces so you may want to get two the same color. You know as a back up.