Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

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oettinger
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Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by oettinger »

I searched to board for a thread like this. Results none. Really?

Anyway,

today it`s hot as fuck outside, so after a dozen or so vodka lemons I decided to do some Oettinger mash, as AD hadn`t tasted it yet.
I don`t know what I did wrong. I put the frozen strawberries, vodka and syrup in the blender and thought I should use the ice crush function first. Because those strawberries were rock-solid frozen.
The stupid blender made a squeezing noise and started to smoke. The teeth of the plastic gears where ripping off turning into tiny hot plastic dust.
Just for fun I tried to operate it again without the pitcher on top and the motor was toast by then too.
I probably overloaded it with way too solid fruits.

One more piece in a loooooong list of stuff I broke when loaded.
Drink!
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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by Nausea »

I've burnt out a blender, too. Gotta buy the expensive ones to do the heavy-duty blending.

I spilled whiskey on an (expensive) MacBook Pro, rendering it useless.

I also busted a guitar case while trying to fit two guitars in it for who knows why.

This is why I can't have nice things.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by scream ale »

I've busted a number of things while plowed. Accidental or otherwise. I had this CD changer that the tray wouldn't always go back in after changing discs. It would get about halfway in then either get stuck or go back out again. It usually took about 3 attempts to close the thing. One night I punched the fucker closed and it hasn't worked since.

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by Hugh »

The porcelain base of an electric indoor grill when I knocked it off a shelf.

Laptop mouse button.

Laptop DVD tray.

One wine glass, one whiskey glass. Now my wine glasses are plastic.

My cell phone, by dropping it into the toilet. It was a slow process to breakage. It actually worked for a few more days, then slowly the on/off button stopped working. You should have seen the phone store guy when he asked me what happened to my phone. He was holding it in his hand when I told him I dropped it in the toilet. I let him wonder whether or not the toilet was full of human waste without further comment.

Coffee table, when I pushed it away with my foot, only intending to give myself more leg room as I sat on the couch. One of the legs broke loose from its glue. (That's how the wine glass got broke.)

The front door to my apartment is antique - a heavy wood frame with glass panels inserted. The thin bottom glass panel has a crack in it. I don't know how the crack got here. But I'm sure it's related to this thread.

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by Badfellow »

My left thumb. This happened while pissing drunk and falling backward into the bathtub. Fortunately, I was done pissing when I fell.

An expensive pair of glasses upon doing a faceplant into a toilet.

More glassware than can be counted on the combined fingers and toes of the free, Drunkard world. Notable amongst the carnage, accidentally broke the coffee mug I was attempting to steal from a bar.

A man-sized swath of my ex-girlfriend's rare orchid collection. Yeah, whoops. In all fairness, I was exquisitely shithammered and did feel pretty remorseful toward the orchids. I'm not a plant hater.

A glass escalator partition at a shopping mall. Hey, if I hadn't been wearing steel toe boots, probably would have broke my toe too.

The Virgin Mary. That one happened while trying to rearrange a holiday manger scene into more provocative poses. Her head quite literally popped right off. Must've been one of those shoddily manufactured manger figures from China.
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oettinger
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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by oettinger »

Hugh wrote:
Sat Jun 29, 2019 7:46 pm
I let him wonder whether or not the toilet was full of human waste without further comment.
Haha!
Badfellow wrote:
Sun Jun 30, 2019 11:12 am
My left thumb. This happened while pissing drunk and falling backward into the bathtub. Fortunately, I was done pissing when I fell.
Drinking injuries thread is right around the corner. But wtf, that is funny
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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by scream ale »

Badfellow wrote:
Sun Jun 30, 2019 11:12 am
My left thumb...
That sounds mighty fucking painful. Then again I have a fairly low threshold for pain.

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by Bur »

I really need to up my score in this area I guess. I've broken like 1 wine glass and half a bottle of stoli while drunk (that one stung).

Oh! I fucked up a bathroom mirror in some random Bar in Helsinki years ago.
I was trying to sent a text message while taking a piss (always a brilliant idea during AM hours). This didn't go quite according to the plan and the phone slipped. While the hose was still spraying I managed to knee the phone to the side, but lost my balance and stumbled towards the mirror. I managed to connect with my elbow - not my face which was a victory in itself, if you ask me.

Left half the mirror shattered on the floor, sprayed some deodorant I had in my back bag around the worst of spillage and promptly walked out of there. Lucky me the place was frigging packed and music was way too loud and I doubt anyone noticed any of this until I had left. Didn't notice I was bleeding until I got to a taxi and he said he'd prefer me not to bleed on his seats. This being a warm summer night I took off my shirt and clumsily wrapped it around my elbow and we were good to go.

I was reminded of this when I saw some lads I hadn't seen in a while for midsummer festivities.

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by Artful Drunktective »

I got y'all beat and it's far beyond accidentally breaking your mom's favorite Fabergé egg or whatever. I simultaneously broke my left ankle and the tib/fib on my right leg by slipping and falling down a mountain. So basically broke both my legs at the same time. I had to have friends come off-roading to come rescue me from a mountainside as I was nowhere near civilization. I was drunk as hell but it would have happened had I been undrunk as it was a freak accident. Thankfully being so wasted I felt no pain and couldn't really process the fked up-ness of the situation. I remember looking down at my twisted ankle and all I thought was "Huh, That sucks". The worst part by far was having ambulance paramedics acting like I was the biggest piece of crap in the world for being so drunk and stupid. Who are you? My mom?!

Twas the most heinous of times but wheelchair drinking all those recovery months was quite convenient I must say. Till I had to pee...
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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by shawnonious »

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Last edited by shawnonious on Tue Dec 07, 2021 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by oettinger »

brandonman wrote:
Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:58 pm
Crushed a pair of glasses once. I wear boots higher than the bathroom. Noticed this morning that when the sink is on full blast, the drain line leaks where it connects to the sink.
I know there's some other major shit that I can't be lubricating Obviously without saying
You wear glasses and Abba--style boots? hmm
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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by shawnonious »

....
Last edited by shawnonious on Tue Dec 07, 2021 11:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by ThirstyBirdy »

Stuffed a bunch of shit in my washer once, that belt squealing and burnt smell still haunts me to this day. Amazingly this resilient 1980s machine made it through.

Things i almost broke while drunk then....
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by ThirstyBirdy »

Kicked the shit outta a thick metal chair once. Only the damn thing wouldn't break. My toe did though...

Those cheap ass dollar tree glasses, i must have broken hundreds of those over the years. Garbage.

Keyboards are the same (expendible).

But hey
it's my party and I'll break shit if i want to
break shit if i want to, you would break shit too if...
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail

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Re: Stuff you (accidently) broke while drunk

Post by Hugh »

And now I can add to this - my laptop. The one I just fucking bought four months ago.

I'm typing this on my old Toshiba that I saved just for this occasion.

BTW, since I tried so many times to sign in to my laptop, not realizing the keyboard no longer works, Microsoft might be trying to lock me out. When I first booted this old laptop up, it stopped, the Windows wait circle was spinning, and it said "Locking." I wonder if I'll be able to sign back in if I shut down. It's now giving me a notification that my password may have changed and telling me to fix it in something called "Shared Networks."

Oh, and while in a state of drunken panic and rage after spilling the full glass of wine on my laptop, I ended up breaking: my Swiffer, a digital alarm clock, the wine glass. I stepped on a tiny Phillips head screw this morning. I assume it came out of the alarm clock, I really don't know.

The fan on this thing is going crazy. I could probably fry a steak with the vent. I guess it's downloading four months worth of fucking updates right now.

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