Another Solo Mission - Drinking alone? Post here!

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Hugh
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Hugh »

Holy fuck. It's been five months since any solo drinkers have posted here. The implication is clear - I am the last solo drinker.

Unless all of you guys are posting on shitbook. You guys aren't posting on shitbook, are you? Because if you are, your solo drunkard card is hereby revoked. Shitbook is for, well, I don't know what it's for. but it's not for the real drunk who drinks to get drunk in the solitude of a tiny overpriced apartment. Excuse my pretentiousness as I lay down the law from my tiny apartment. Overpriced apartment, yes. Soon to be evicted from, yes. Cause I can't afford the rent increases that come every six months now, yes. Fuck. Does anybody have a job and an apartment that I can have somewhere in the southwestern USA desert? The job just needs to cover rent and Franzia. I've checked the rentals around Las Vegas and they seem reasonable. Now if I could just get a job there. (Not the ones that are "felon friendly." Telemarketing jobs to scam homebound seniors out of their retirement funds in order to buy stamps and other collectibles. That seems to be the easiest job to get in Las Vegas, if I'm interpreting the craigslist postings correctly.) But I'm too scared to move. I'm an avowed chickenshit. I'll stay here until the landlord throws me and my Franzia out.

I want to go out to my dive bars again, just to see how all of the retirees, disability dogs, and VA beneficiaries are doing. But I may have been 86d after my last outing. Some straight guy invited me to shoot pool with him, and I may have been a little too much of a predatoress. Subtlety is not my strong suit and I may have offended the bartenders and customers with my woman-fresh-out-of-prison-after-a-decade schtick. Especially since my birth certificate clearly states I'm not a woman. It's been a couple of weeks, but I'm still too embarrassed to go back and see. A couple of you guys are from San Diego, if I remember correctly. Would one of you be kind enough to get in touch with The Alibi and see if they've 86d any big ugly trannies in the last couple of weeks?

And speaking of big ugly trannies, my hairstylist implied that he will no longer give me the Texas-baptist-minister's wife hairstyle anymore. He said a 52 year old man shouldn't be looking like that. It might give his salon a bad reputation. Bah.

So alone I sit and drink, hoping that the members of MDF won't demand that I appear in the skype forum. I do so love you guys, though. I just don't want my ugly mug flickering on your laptop screen. If you saw my face, the result of needle jabbing when I was a teen to kill the zits, you'd understand. (And understand why my hairstylist disapproves of me running around with a poofed up hairstyle that makes me 7 feet tall.)

Oh - and a question for you more experienced drunkards. When I'm drinking solo I don't mix drinks. It's wine, whiskey, or beer with no fuss. but what about whiskey and coke? Generic coke, of course, And generic whiskey, too. Is that an acceptable drink? I'll probably make a mess of it late at night, but I think it's appropriate to drink whiskey and coke on ice in the hot summer nights in the solitude of my tiny apartment. Overpriced apartment.

OH how many pages of poetry I've written during these drunken solo nights. They could have all been posts on MDF.

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oettinger
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by oettinger »

Oh man that sucks.

Got any empties?
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Dear Booze »

Hugh wrote:
Sat May 05, 2018 12:13 am
Holy fuck. It's been five months since any solo drinkers have posted here. The implication is clear - I am the last solo drinker.

... as I lay down the law from my tiny apartment. Overpriced apartment, yes. Soon to be evicted from, yes. Cause I can't afford the rent increases that come every six months now, yes. Fuck. Does anybody have a job and an apartment that I can have somewhere in the southwestern USA desert? The job just needs to cover rent and Franzia. I've checked the rentals around Las Vegas and they seem reasonable.

I want to go out to my dive bars again, just to see how all of the retirees, disability dogs, and VA beneficiaries are doing. But I may have been 86d after my last outing. Some straight guy invited me to shoot pool with him, and I may have been a little too much of a predatoress. Subtlety is not my strong suit and I may have offended the bartenders and customers with my woman-fresh-out-of-prison-after-a-decade schtick. Especially since my birth certificate clearly states I'm not a woman. It's been a couple of weeks, but I'm still too embarrassed to go back and see. A couple of you guys are from San Diego, if I remember correctly. Would one of you be kind enough to get in touch with The Alibi and see if they've 86d any big ugly trannies in the last couple of weeks?

OH how many pages of poetry I've written during these drunken solo nights. They could have all been posts on MDF.
Hugh, goid to see you here. It's been a while.

If you get evicted, you can always move to Fresno. Cheap rent, plenty of dive bars, accepting citizens.

But I hope you don't get kicked out. I know how much you love San Diego. I don't blame you. It's one of the best places on earth.
DRINK!

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oettinger
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by oettinger »

^^^ Mother spider has spoken
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Hugh
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Hugh »

Yes dear booze, it is. Or at least it was. Does it seem as if it has changed? It seems to me that it has morphed into a rich man's city, ruled by real estate developers and unsympathetic landlords. There are a few dive bars left that I dearly love, but my booze money is being lost to housing. My mom died almost 20 years ago now, and I'm having trouble coming up with a reason to stay here. In fact, the only reason I can come up with is that I'm afraid to make a move.

My mom was not a solo drinker, but she drank at home in her later years with her friends, other olden maidens. They sat up all night gossiping about the men who were their former lovers and how they were unfairly cast aside for younger women. That was up in Oceanside, CA, a real honky tonk town back in the days. I wonder if it still is. Certainly, it must be with new, young, life-inexperienced jarheads arriving by the busload every day.

If I've read your recent posts correctly, you are down in Mexico right now. I hope not for the 5 de Mayo (only Americans spell out the cinco) holiday. Nobody down there even knows what the hell it is. We only know it up here because of an incorrect version of Mexican/French history we keep repeating to ourselves.

Anyway, on this drinking American holiday, 5 de Mayo, I'm claiming the Another Solo Mission thread as my own, just like a hijacker assumes ownership of a Boeing 737 midflight. If I can't go out and jam paper currency into a jukebox, sit on a barstool, and interrupt the conversations of paying customers, I will sit here gulping wine and dominate this previously inactive thread.

BTW, I did a search for jobs up around Fresno, as you suggested. My company, Frito Lay, has a job opening in Brisbane, CA that pays a whopping 21 bucks an hour. But the cheapest rent I could find there was $1700 for a studio. No thanks.

Hey, do they have wifi in the homeless encampments near the interstate onramps in San Diego? If they do, I could still post here after I get kicked out of my apartment.

Anybody else on the solo drinking crew tonight? Check in!

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oettinger
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by oettinger »

lol what is gay about him again?

Stay calm everyone!
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Hugh wrote:
Sat May 05, 2018 12:13 am
Holy fuck. It's been five months since any solo drinkers have posted here. The implication is clear - I am the last solo drinker.

Unless all of you guys are posting on shitbook. You guys aren't posting on shitbook, are you? Because if you are, your solo drunkard card is hereby revoked. Shitbook is for, well, I don't know what it's for. but it's not for the real drunk who drinks to get drunk in the solitude of a tiny overpriced apartment. Excuse my pretentiousness as I lay down the law from my tiny apartment. Overpriced apartment, yes. Soon to be evicted from, yes. Cause I can't afford the rent increases that come every six months now, yes. Fuck. Does anybody have a job and an apartment that I can have somewhere in the southwestern USA desert? The job just needs to cover rent and Franzia. I've checked the rentals around Las Vegas and they seem reasonable. Now if I could just get a job there. (Not the ones that are "felon friendly." Telemarketing jobs to scam homebound seniors out of their retirement funds in order to buy stamps and other collectibles. That seems to be the easiest job to get in Las Vegas, if I'm interpreting the craigslist postings correctly.) But I'm too scared to move. I'm an avowed chickenshit. I'll stay here until the landlord throws me and my Franzia out.

I want to go out to my dive bars again, just to see how all of the retirees, disability dogs, and VA beneficiaries are doing. But I may have been 86d after my last outing. Some straight guy invited me to shoot pool with him, and I may have been a little too much of a predatoress. Subtlety is not my strong suit and I may have offended the bartenders and customers with my woman-fresh-out-of-prison-after-a-decade schtick. Especially since my birth certificate clearly states I'm not a woman. It's been a couple of weeks, but I'm still too embarrassed to go back and see. A couple of you guys are from San Diego, if I remember correctly. Would one of you be kind enough to get in touch with The Alibi and see if they've 86d any big ugly trannies in the last couple of weeks?

And speaking of big ugly trannies, my hairstylist implied that he will no longer give me the Texas-baptist-minister's wife hairstyle anymore. He said a 52 year old man shouldn't be looking like that. It might give his salon a bad reputation. Bah.

So alone I sit and drink, hoping that the members of MDF won't demand that I appear in the skype forum. I do so love you guys, though. I just don't want my ugly mug flickering on your laptop screen. If you saw my face, the result of needle jabbing when I was a teen to kill the zits, you'd understand. (And understand why my hairstylist disapproves of me running around with a poofed up hairstyle that makes me 7 feet tall.)

Oh - and a question for you more experienced drunkards. When I'm drinking solo I don't mix drinks. It's wine, whiskey, or beer with no fuss. but what about whiskey and coke? Generic coke, of course, And generic whiskey, too. Is that an acceptable drink? I'll probably make a mess of it late at night, but I think it's appropriate to drink whiskey and coke on ice in the hot summer nights in the solitude of my tiny apartment. Overpriced apartment.

OH how many pages of poetry I've written during these drunken solo nights. They could have all been posts on MDF.
I'm almost always solo Hugh. Always the last "man" standing". It's a time zone thing. That and maybe because I drink at odd hours. Hmm....
Elton John - I'm Still Standin'. Yeah yeah yeah.

Although not evicted, I am trying to evict myself from a current living situation with very limited resources and choices yet also super scared to move. It's overwhelming to think about where to go, how to start over, the expense, doing it alone, etc. I had to take a freaking Valium which I never do just to calm my nerves. Maybe we should be roomies in Vegas. We can go to dive bars together and drown our sorrows while we save a few bucks.

So what new hairstyle will you be rocking if you can no longer adorn the minister wife look? Bring the bouffant back! It is time! To Wong Fu!

Re: your Skype reluctance - what, you think we are a clique of Victoria's Secret models having a pillow party Skype? Pul-eeze. You would love all of us and our loveable dinged up-ness. But it's all good if you don't want to join. You won't be scarred for life from the ridiculousness of the conversations such as elderly German women with whiskers on their boobs and watching Dear Booze go to the gay bars in Mexico while his wife is mysteriously missing. Good stuff! Nary a dull moment for sure.
Okole maluna!

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Badfellow
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Badfellow »

Oh, the horror of the elderly German lady whisker nipples. I'm still going to solo drinking therapy sessions over that one.
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Dear Booze »

Badfellow wrote:
Mon May 07, 2018 9:52 am
Oh, the horror of the elderly German lady whisker nipples. I'm still going to solo drinking therapy sessions over that one.
This German lady, did she braid those errant hairs? Did she, perhaps, thread some beads into the hair?
DRINK!

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Badfellow
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Badfellow »

Dear Booze wrote:
Mon May 07, 2018 12:38 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Mon May 07, 2018 9:52 am
Oh, the horror of the elderly German lady whisker nipples. I'm still going to solo drinking therapy sessions over that one.
This German lady, did she braid those errant hairs? Did she, perhaps, thread some beads into the hair?
Love beads in the dreadlocks is the word on the street. One might imagine a little something like Bo Derek jogging on the beach but lower. Much, much lower.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Dear Booze wrote:
Mon May 07, 2018 12:38 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Mon May 07, 2018 9:52 am
Oh, the horror of the elderly German lady whisker nipples. I'm still going to solo drinking therapy sessions over that one.
This German lady, did she braid those errant hairs? Did she, perhaps, thread some beads into the hair?
No she only braided the whiskers on her "gray bush" as the Oett so respectively phrased it. And he pronounced "bush" as it rhymed with "lush" (not "tush") which made it all the more funny yet disturbing.
Okole maluna!

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Hugh
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Hugh »

Friday night solo crew checking in! Where the fook are you guys?

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since I've been in a bar. The longest stretch I've voluntarily stayed out of bars was 5 weeks, but after this last embarrassing episode I should be able to beat that streak by a long shot.

Thirty six years ago this month (May of 1982) Charles Bukowski wrote a letter to a younger poet named Gerald Locklin and dispensed a little advice to him. Bukowski said that beer was deathly. A body was not made to process that much liquid at once and beer headaches and heaves would kill you. (Although he conceded that beer shits were quite good.) He told Locklin that a good wine would add ten years to your life. Most people probably don't think of Bukowski as a solo drinker, but if you read his letter collections, you will see that he vastly preferred solo drinking to drinking with people. My jaw drops in astonishment as I read some of these letters and seeing the lessons he learned from booze all those years ago are the same lessons I'm learning now. Beer makes me piss like a mofo, literally every few minutes, and the sour mouth and dehydration the next day leave me too sick to do anything, let alone work. Now I only drink it when I don't have to go to work the next day.

BTW, in that same letter, Bukowski mentioned that he had not paid his taxes yet. Every time he called his accountant, the accountant was drunk. On cognac.

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Patchez
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Patchez »

I'm here. Crafties only as i have to finish butchering two cows in the AM. Nice knowing that in a pinch I can take it from hoof to harvest if I have too. Lost art to most nowadays.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

Hugh
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Hugh »

That kid that died in the Alaskan wilderness - McCandless? Starved to death and someone found his body in an abandoned bus. He shot a moose while he was out there, but didn't know how to butcher it. I always thought of butchering as just slicing open the abdomen, throwing out the guts, cutting off the extremities, and chowing down.

No one ever taught me how to clean fish, but that's how I did it. I must have gotten it right, right?

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Patchez
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Re: Another Solo Mission

Post by Patchez »

If you didn't die or get sick, yeah. Breaking down a beast as big as a moose is a whole new ball game. Willies could tell you more about it. I imagine it's a lot like deer or cattle just on a larger, say, 1200 lbs or so scale.

With deer we like to jar it as in canning it. The whole thing just gets chipped up with a knife and thrown into jars with a brine the sealed with a pressure cooker.

Beef is a more labor intensive process with killing it the skinning and gutting. After that we quarter it and hang if for two weeks. Which brings us to tomorrow. Taking down the quarters and carving out the steaks and the roasts, the filet mignon and some Delmonico steaks, poerterhouse and or T-bones. It helps when my step dad had been a butcher for 50 years. He can't help much now but he can talk a novice through it and make them look like a pro.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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