Tragedy Has Struck

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Brother Bluto
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Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Brother Bluto » Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:21 pm

I live in a 1.5 horse college town where the Muni is the only liquor store allowed. Yesterday, flooding damaged caused them to close indefinitely. I drove by an hour ago and there are lots of cleaning vehicles out front and a few people moving in and out, but they are very much still closed. I can't get a response from anyone in the city as to when they might reopen.
Now, I'm generally prepared for such an emergency and am fairly well stocked in personal provisions. However, I plan to have guests this weekend and some of them arrive already tomorrow night. How am I supposed to entertain in these conditions?!

-Bluto

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Nausea
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Nausea » Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:38 pm

That's a major bummer.

Do you have no other recourse?

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scream ale
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by scream ale » Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:41 pm

Advise them of the tragedy. Maybe they'll bring emergency supplies.
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by mistah willies » Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:18 pm

Brother Bluto wrote:
Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:21 pm
I live in a 1.5 horse college town where the Muni is the only liquor store allowed... How am I supposed to entertain in these conditions?!

-Bluto
The horror! Absolute, abject horror. Your candy store is gone.
I simply cannot imagine. That there is truth, Bluto.

Hmmmm...

Mayhaps a road trip with the first crew to arrive?

Hmm

Too late to start brewing/distilling/pilfering form neighbor's house.

Hmmm

No. Pills are out of the question for entertaining. Meth and crack as well.

Chris Rock once quipped, "when crack shows up at a party, it's time to get the hell out."

Hand/sock/dick puppets are out of the question without serious boozing.

Bluto, I have no idea.

You simply must report what happened next.

Duuuude. Gawdayam.

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Patchez
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Patchez » Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:42 am

scream ale wrote:
Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:41 pm
Advise them of the tragedy. Maybe they'll bring emergency supplies.
This seems like it might work.

The only other recourse will be a dangerous trek through floodwaters to nearby towns with open candy stores. Calling ahead will be advantageous so ass to safe wasted time and unnecessary danger.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Artful Drunktective » Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:42 am

scream ale wrote:
Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:41 pm
Advise them of the tragedy. Maybe they'll bring emergency supplies.
I'm with Scream. Tell them about your plight and if they are true friends they will bring provisions. Other options: you could just be like "Welp...I'm all stocked but you guys are fked." or as Willies suggested "Anyone down for a road trip?" Could be fun like an unexpected journey. Like the Hobbit.
How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by oettinger » Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:39 am

Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Badfellow » Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:44 am

Sorry to hear, Bluto. Mother nature can be a heartless wench. I propose we start a company to address this issue...

DrunkAir: liquor logistics solutions with drone delivery of beer, wine and spirits to anywhere in the lower 48 and Alaska. We also deliver smokes!
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Badfellow » Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:48 am

oettinger wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:39 am
Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg
Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by mistah willies » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:23 pm

Badfellow wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:48 am
oettinger wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:39 am
Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg
Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.
Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*

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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by oettinger » Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:06 pm

mistah willies wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:23 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:48 am
oettinger wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:39 am
Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg
Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.
Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*
I bought the story until "3 days" myself
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
Image

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Badfellow
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Badfellow » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:01 pm

oettinger wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:06 pm
mistah willies wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:23 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:48 am
Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.
Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*
I bought the story until "3 days" myself
I had help from assholes such as your ilk.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by oettinger » Sun Mar 17, 2019 2:23 pm

Badfellow wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:01 pm
oettinger wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:06 pm
mistah willies wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:23 pm


Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*
I bought the story until "3 days" myself
I had help from assholes such as your ilk.
Ah, ok
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
Image

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Brother Bluto
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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Brother Bluto » Fri Mar 22, 2019 11:26 pm

Update: All parties were advised of the situation. Many beers were brought to the party Friday night. As previously noted, I could still get beer, but I give credit for those who were kind enough to help. The Saturday morning crew came with copious amounts of Irish coffee.
I also enlisted a coworker who commutes nearly 50 miles each way every day to bring me a bottle of whiskey. Then I made a 5 mile trip to another town to buy booze from a truck stop with terrible selection and even worse prices.
All-in-all the weekend was a success. Only the drivers went home completely undrunk and we all had a blast. Already looking forward to next year.

Oh! And while I was worried about the booze I completely forgot about cigars whic resulted in a late night trip to the new smoke shop Friday night.

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Re: Tragedy Has Struck

Post by Brother Bluto » Fri Mar 22, 2019 11:54 pm

Also, on Wednesday morning the official news report was there is no ETA for reopening.

I buy groceries on a daily basis and my Packy is next door to my grocer (92 seconds by car from my front door), combined with my very vested interest in the business I’ve been watching the roof, drainage, backhoe, cleaning work closely. Miraculously, they opened back up at 6 PM Wednesday night.

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