the attempted murder of dan_uk

massivedrunk · Post by **massivedrunk** » Fri May 04, 2007 5:46 pm

Seriously Dan, did you two get breakfast?

Next time, punch her in the face.

but, I've been drinkin' don't listen to me.

Gin McGuinness · Post by **Gin McGuinness** » Fri May 04, 2007 6:17 pm

goodness dan! glad to hear that you're ok! becareful out there!

ruiner · Post by **ruiner** » Fri May 04, 2007 6:39 pm

massivedrunk wrote:Seriously Dan, did you two get breakfast?

Next time, punch her in the face.

but, I've been drinkin' don't listen to me.

you drink?

Kegdrainer · Post by **Kegdrainer** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:02 pm

when i read the topic, i though this was gonna be an emo/suicide thread

ruiner · Post by **ruiner** » Fri May 04, 2007 7:16 pm

Kegdrainer wrote:when i read the topic, i though this was gonna be an emo/suicide thread

i wish it were.

**** · Post by ******** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:48 pm

Kegdrainer wrote:when i read the topic, i though this was gonna be an emo/suicide thread

i think you dudes should start giving us examples of dan being "emo." i just don't see it.

G_W · Post by **G_W** » Fri May 04, 2007 9:03 pm

dan_uk wrote:Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...

Time to take one for the team man.

devo · Post by **devo** » Fri May 04, 2007 9:08 pm

is that you lt. dan?

Diabetic Daredevil · Post by **Diabetic Daredevil** » Fri May 04, 2007 11:33 pm

KEEEE-RISTE!!! She looks like she produces 75% of the worlds fermunda cheese. Fermunda her tits, belly folds 1-4, and chins 1-3.

danger awesome · Post by **danger awesome** » Sat May 05, 2007 4:12 am

Cheers Nic. Free drinks for you.

Seriously, i haven't been 'emo' on here, if i ever even was, for ages, probably not even in the last year - and if i was, think about it this way: I'm a young guy with lots to learn, and i've come asking you older guys + gals for advice - surely you should feel some kinda positive emotion that i value your opinions and seek them out?

But at the same time, i do like a good joke, whether i be at the butt of it or otherwise.

In answer to your wondering why the hell there wasn't intervention from friends, i think this may have been because it was in one of the dark corners of The Coven, or perhaps somewhere else, i have no idea where it occurred to be honest.

And a final word about the hair... it works, not 60% of the time every time, but a lot closer to 90/100%. Maybe some of you should consider a haircut/colour/style...

Gin McGuinness · Post by **Gin McGuinness** » Sat May 05, 2007 4:26 am

dan_uk wrote: I'm a young guy with lots to learn,

knowledge is power baby... the only way to get it is living it! good on ya love

danger awesome · Post by **danger awesome** » Sat May 05, 2007 4:38 am

I need to start an injuries picture diary.

This morning, it's a golf ball sized dark bruise under my left knee.

Needless to say, origin: unknown.

Shot Time · Post by **Shot Time** » Sat May 05, 2007 9:49 am

I have tremendous respect for Drunkards who survive such harrowing situations. We all have off nights when our livers betray us; hell, even Ted Williams only went 4 for 10.

I fell down two flights of stairs once, while vomiting, and had a beer in my hand less than 24 hours later (albeit I had to be helped to the bar).

Cheers Dan.

Post by **Judge** » Sat May 05, 2007 10:32 am

Dan, you may always seek my advice and know that I'd never ridicule you for it. Ask Mike, he can tell you how well I treat him when he needs advice.

Which is often.

He's generally confused.

For example, I had to tell him when putting my wife's car in the garage, try not to bash the beer fridge again. Big dent in the door.

Or letting Crystal lead him to crak houses, sex shops and run down strip joints is just asking for trouble.

If you are going to try to play a practical joke by hiding my liquor cabinet, actually do it or put it back and save that joke for another day...don't leave it half moved. Now when you try it, it won't be even remotely funny except in a lame sort of way.

Chew your food well so when you puke in the doorway of the local where I end up having to clean it up the chunks will be small enough to wash away. I mean a 3" long piece of lettuce isn't right (I hope it didn't get picked up and recycled into someone elses salad).

You see?? I'm full of helpful advice!

ruiner · Post by **ruiner** » Sat May 05, 2007 1:20 pm

JudgeLyonell wrote:Dan, you may always seek my advice and know that I'd never ridicule you for it. Ask Mike, he can tell you how well I treat him when he needs advice.

Which is often.

He's generally confused.

For example, I had to tell him when putting my wife's car in the garage, try not to bash the beer fridge again. Big dent in the door.

Or letting Crystal lead him to crak houses, sex shops and run down strip joints is just asking for trouble.

If you are going to try to play a practical joke by hiding my liquor cabinet, actually do it or put it back and save that joke for another day...don't leave it half moved. Now when you try it, it won't be even remotely funny except in a lame sort of way.

Chew your food well so when you puke in the doorway of the local where I end up having to clean it up the chunks will be small enough to wash away. I mean a 3" long piece of lettuce isn't right (I hope it didn't get picked up and recycled into someone elses salad).

You see?? I'm full of helpful advice!

hilarious.

im going to have to throw you into the front step again, arent i?