Ask Savage

[givemesomepils]

Dear Ms Savage,

If we're not allowed to drink and drive why do people always ask to see my Driving License when I buy my liquor and why do bars have car parks?

Coincidence? I think not... we're actually allowed to drink and drive it's just they (Whoever they are? Government? Mormons? Tom Cruise?) don't want us to know it.

funny, once while still underage i had been drinking enough to where the police smelled it, they told me i said i had a beer or two, when it was really a whiskey or 7, but i wasn't swerving slurring, or acting drunk. you are onto something.

[Artful Drunktective]

First off, I'm sure your wallpapers, socks, dress code and everything is purely acceptable and don't let any lady friend tell you any different. These things deemed insignificant to most bring lots of pleasure to you and as long as you are cool with it, then it's all good.

As far as the balding head...don't focus on it. I'm pretty sure you are more aware of it than anyone else. Us ladies don't even pay attention or care about that -more than you think. If in doubt, shave the whole thing. Shaved bald heads are hot these days.

[Savage]

Speaking of The Happiest Place On Earth, (yeah, I was, scroll back a page) I am already planning for Halloween 2015, and am torn between Micky and Donald having a knife fight, or the Disney Princesses' duking it out on the Roller Derby course.

[Savage]

But who am I kidding. We'll probs have the time-honored theme of drunken skellies and gravestones. Hey, we have those skull head tiki torches Grumpy made--yeah.

[mistah willies]

It's always best to plan ahead. Very far ahead. For me, I have to go kill a street with a bottle in a minuet.

But just wanted to ask you this, Dear Savage

What is it about Hallowe'en that gets me every time? Maybe the first part of that movie "Lady In White" always nails it for me.

Anyways, here's something form the Dotta for you, while I will chug like a mighty Viking and do damage in a moment.

Hey, no speeling mistakes yet. this indicates another chug.

Arrrr

[Savage]

It's always best to plan ahead. Very far ahead. For me, I have to go kill a street with a bottle in a minuet.

But just wanted to ask you this, Dear Savage

What is it about Hallowe'en that gets me every time? Maybe the first part of that movie "Lady In White" always nails it for me.

Anyways, here's something form the Dotta for you, while I will chug like a mighty Viking and do damage in a moment.

Hey, no speeling mistakes yet. this indicates another chug.

Arrrr

For to feed your fix, go to Halloweenforum.com There, I am Savage Night. We Halloweeners are an obsessed bunch.

[Savage]

155 days until Halloween. Halloween is coming. Have you bought your candy yet?

[Palinka (RIP)]

...Halloween is coming...

Fortuitously, it is still more than a thousand miles away from the shores of "...this Septic Isle". (in any case, it wouldn't really work as it's too close to the 5th of November, where, each year, we celebrate by burning Roman Catholics, in effigy, and then get horse-whimperingly drunk before setting off a load of fireworks).

Halloween could never beat that!

[oettinger]

...Halloween is coming...

Fortuitously, it is still more than a thousand miles away from the shores of "...this Septic Isle". (in any case, it wouldn't really work as it's too close to the 5th of November, where, each year, we celebrate by burning Roman Catholics, in effigy, and then get horse-whimperingly drunk before setting off a load of fireworks).

Halloween could never beat that!

That`s my birthday, cool.

And thank you Artful Detective, I really don`t care about balding, it`s kinda my tademark now as I still keep it growing long and am looking like some 60s hippie metal-head mixup. Shaving it is no option at this point.

[Savage]

...Halloween is coming...

Fortuitously, it is still more than a thousand miles away from the shores of "...this Septic Isle". (in any case, it wouldn't really work as it's too close to the 5th of November, where, each year, we celebrate by burning Roman Catholics, in effigy, and then get horse-whimperingly drunk before setting off a load of fireworks).

Halloween could never beat that!

Eh, ye probably eat meat on Fridays, ye heathen.

[mistah willies]

For to feed your fix, go to Halloweenforum.com There, I am Savage Night. We Halloweeners are an obsessed bunch.

That is very cool, for the likes of me. I will participate. Yup.

[mistah willies]

Dear Savage,

Someone who has a birthday today is not fond of cake. Yet, his Lady wanted one.

No harsh on a man to have to buy a cake for his own birthday against his will. He knows what side of his toast is buttered.

However, for those of us who are more fond of our fats with salt instead of sugar,

What kind of cake with salt would you recommend?

Here's a tune while you think about this.

(I can't figure this out either)

[Savage]

One who does not love cake does not love life. How do you think I grew my squeezable booty?

[mistah willies]

One who does not love cake does not love life. How do you think I grew my squeezable booty?

Agreed, and Amen.

Shot of Makers for you, all around.

[Savage]

And to elucidate: Chocolate cake, chocolate cake, chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Extra dark, almost black (see King Arthur Flour company for the black cocoa that is the necessary ingredient.) I my own self invented the perfect chocolate cake. Soft as angel's wings, black as my wicked heart, and sure to get you laid if you are a guy seeking to impress (and press yourself upon) a creature of the female persuasion.

Don't forget the champagne. Or milk, but hey, look who I'm talking to.