The Hole

[Badfellow]

I never saw regular beer on tap? Are you too fancy for that?

You must have misread the sign. It actually says raw beef on tap.

[Lush City]

I guess you never got the memo.
Humble Pie-30 Days In The Hole
https://youtu.be/sdXjm8pZMws

[mistah willies]

^ ^ ^

That's a hell of a bender at the Hole, a place filled with the vilest of scum and villainy in the whole neighborhood. Feels like home.

Let's meet there at 2.

[Badfellow]

I'd buy that for a dollar.

[oettinger]

Word on the streets is that The Hole got bought by a big Herion n Hores franchise.

See, this is how you alieniate regulars.

Ok, way always brought our own hooch, but I still feel unwelcomed

Edit: Another rumor floats around about the owner fleeing the country with a suitcase full of counterfeit money to mexico

[Badfellow]

Okay, this is how it's gonna go down. First, Jimmy distracts the kid with some of his psycho drunken bullshit. Then Gene here comes up from behind and swipes the bag of candy, runs around the corner and makes the hand-off to Thirsty. Then we meet back here and divvy up the take, see?

[Dear Booze]

Today only at The Hole

Free Handbag Promotion

Order any top Shelf Specialty Cocktail and receive a collectors edition genuine Nigerian purse with roses on the top. Designed to look like someone has pooped on it and then set it on fire, these bags sell for almost two hundred bucks.

Quanities are limited.

[oettinger]

top Shelf Specialty Cocktail!

Double!!!


That bag is mine!

[Dear Booze]

The Hole is a proud sponsor of International Blasphemy Day

Tomorrow is Monday. And unless you've never experienced the God Damned worst fucking day of the week, then you will appreciate the fact that it is also International Blasphemy Day. The Hole is here for you. Come on in and Blapheem to your heart's content.

Feel free to order a Mohammudslide, Allahbama Slammer, Buddascotch Schnapps, or anything else you can think of. Shit, we'll even have a contest for the best drink name, costume, and hand gesture.

[Lush City]

Yes, I feel a good curse and conniption coming on for Blasphemy Monday. Goddamn human physiology where I must suffer for imbibing God's pure hooch. How ironic is that?

[Dear Booze]

October 31, 2017
The Hole proudly presents
Dr. Scary Name's Crypt of Horror Dance Extravaganza

We've got everything you need to start November with a crippling hungover.

Neon colored shots that look like radioactive waste and will give you watery diarrhea by no later than 6 am.

Gimmicky frozen drinks garnished with $8 worth of fruit.

Shitty and flat light beer served in our giant novelty souvenir cup which, for some reason, has a built-in lanyard so you can spill it without knocking it over and which you will have no desire to keep.

Party until the break of 11pm on Dr. Scary Name's laughably small dance floor, dry humping the night away to the musical stylings of DJ Fuckface before coming to the horrifying realization that you've been grinding your genitals into a middle aged man from Nebraska through 45 minutes of the same LMFAO song.

Don't forget to leave your bar tab open so you can stumble back to The Hole tomorrow, only to find that a number of designer clothing items have been purchased by someone in Liberia using your credit card.

As Jimmy Lester says, HAPPY HALLOWEEN MOTHER FUCKERS!

[oettinger]

And all that in one trip.
Can I have my credit card back doctor Sorry? This lost and found works like shit

[oettinger]

3 stars out a possible 5.
Food and drugs 5.
Service a mere .1
Restrooms, something between Guyana and the civilized world. +4

[Dear Booze]

Restrooms, something between Guyana and the civilized world. +4

Don't look thru the peep hole, you will get poked in the eye.

[Badfellow]

Trick or treat, smell my feet.

No, really. Smell my feet. They're SPOOOOOOOOOOKY!!!