Merry Christmas you drunks!

[DivaBitch]

If I were Jewish, I'd buy you a cheap motel room and a handle of WT101 for Chanukah.

wild turkey wuold be better

[Badfellow]

If I were Jewish, I'd buy you a cheap motel room and a handle of WT101 for Chanukah.

wild turkey wuold be better

You're priceless... except for when you're at work, of course.






Common Standard Drunkard Abbreviations

WT101....................... Wild Turkey (101 proof)
TJD............................ Traitor TJD
EW............................. Evan Williams Bourbon
SJ.............................. Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
OE.............................. Old English 800 Malt Liquor
MD 20/20.................. MD 20/20
PBR............................ Piss Beer Requested
LIIT............................. Long Island Iced Tea
CRAFT........................ Can't Remember A Fucking Thing

[DivaBitch]

If I were Jewish, I'd buy you a cheap motel room and a handle of WT101 for Chanukah.

wild turkey wuold be better

You're priceless... except for when you're at work, of course.






Common Standard Drunkard Abbreviations

WT101....................... Wild Turkey (101 proof)
TJD............................ Traitor TJD
EW............................. Evan Williams Bourbon
SJ.............................. Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
OE.............................. Old English 800 Malt Liquor
MD 20/20.................. MD 20/20
PBR............................ Piss Beer Requested
LIIT............................. Long Island Iced Tea
CRAFT........................ Can't Remember A Fucking Thing

oh shit yuo got me with that one........lol..........i was thikning WD was the stuff yuo put on somthing so it woodnt stick ot sqweek

[Frankennietzsche]

WD40

[DivaBitch]

WD40

http://wd40.com/uses-tips

[Frankennietzsche]

WD40

http://wd40.com/uses-tips

That was my flowchart for kidnappers.

[Badfellow]

Does it work on sex toys after they get chewed up by the dog?

[oettinger]

I`m persistent on this one: Un-blown-up pool toys. The "snake" atleast.
And if not, I hope your christmas is over, little promiscuitian girl

[Patchez]

That would be the year someone I knew dumped 10,000 mics of Czech acid into the ice sculpture punch bowl at the big, annual corporate holiday party. Needless to say, shit got a little looney tunes. I ducked out before the karaoke started.

Why in the fuck would you leave before that?

I, and my ilk, was the reason my former employer stopped the open bar policy at the Christmas party. Not because I got too shitty, but because the cubicle dwelling weekend warriors tried to keep up. The work with your hand, drink from your soul types like me and mine set the bar pretty high and well, face it , we fed the dinks a shit ton. Keep up son you'll be fine.

[ThirstyDrunk]

yes

[oettinger]

No.
A lot has to go wrong, for me to feel embarrased.
My boss once suggested we celebrate christmas at his place. He had one of these rugs with long fur in his living room. We had lots of vodka shots with sherbet, you know, that effervescent powder candy. Stuff was everywhere and especially inside that rug. "Never again" his wife said.

[DivaBitch]

I`m persistent on this one: Un-blown-up pool toys. The "snake" atleast.
And if not, I hope your christmas is over, little promiscuitian girl

i will be after my last shif ans i get a botle of turkey to help me on the day off... 25th

[Jimmy Lester {RIP}]

Jesus H. Christ Mary and Joseph hangin' off a cross, god-damn shit!

That Diva Bitch is a piece of work. She dismisses the importance of correctly spelling simple words like "Saturday", "You", and others by turning the conversation to the fact that she gives lap dances to old dudes.

Congratulations?

Just like early white people's inability to beat religion into Native Americans, I can't make you care about any of this. But I'm having what many call A Moment of Clarity, and I'd like to help you. Please watch the following (they helped me and millions of other children learn the finer points of the English language:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkAX7Vk3JEw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPoBE-E8VOc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkuuZEey_bs

Watch them, learn them. know them.

Wait. You may be a 15-year-old boy trying his hardest to put one over on a whole mess of polite fucking drunks. Well, if that's the case, BRAVO! Seriously, nice job.

Then again, perhaps you think the conversation to which you redirect all topics is fascinating and appealing to men. I hate to tell you that you are about as off-base as your ability to spell.

Dignity and intelligence is a strong aphrodisiac.

A locksmith friend of mine described this situation as follows: "A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock."

[DivaBitch]

Jesus H. Christ Mary and Joseph hangin' off a cross, god-damn shit!

That Diva Bitch is a piece of work. She dismisses the importance of correctly spelling simple words like "Saturday", "You", and others by turning the conversation to the fact that she gives lap dances to old dudes.

Congratulations?

Just like early white people's inability to beat religion into Native Americans, I can't make you care about any of this. But I'm having what many call A Moment of Clarity, and I'd like to help you. Please watch the following (they helped me and millions of other children learn the finer points of the English language:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkAX7Vk3JEw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPoBE-E8VOc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkuuZEey_bs

Watch them, learn them. know them.

Wait. You may be a 15-year-old boy trying his hardest to put one over on a whole mess of polite fucking drunks. Well, if that's the case, BRAVO! Seriously, nice job.

Then again, perhaps you think the conversation to which you redirect all topics is fascinating and appealing to men. I hate to tell you that you are about as off-base as your ability to spell.

Dignity and intelligence is a strong aphrodisiac.

A locksmith friend of mine described this situation as follows: "A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock."

scool me after yuo make mor than 13 post..m'K ot STFU

[Jimmy Lester {RIP}]

I'm Jimmy Fucking Lester, god dammit! I try to help you and you want to act like that? What the hell is wrong with you?

You type 12 words and half aren't even real words!

I'll try again. This time, I will explain it so even you can understand. And to be nice, I will go slow...

DAY 2, LESSON 2:

The word "you" is spelled Y O U. Here's how YOU might be able to remember it... let's say some old dude asks for a lap dance "Hey you stupid tramp, give me a lap dance..."

Of course, this kind of talk pisses you off so you say "Why?" And just then, the old dude shows you a wad of cash. So you say "oh, you have money."

Why Oh You, that spells you. Practice it out loud. I'm here to help.