Merry Christmas you drunks!

[Dear Booze]

I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but I agree with Jimmy Fucking Lester. He must have a soft heart after all.

[DivaBitch]

I'm Jimmy Fucking Lester, god dammit! I try to help you and you want to act like that? What the hell is wrong with you?

You type 12 words and half aren't even real words!

I'll try again. This time, I will explain it so even you can understand. And to be nice, I will go slow...

DAY 2, LESSON 2:

The word "you" is spelled Y O U. Here's how YOU might be able to remember it... let's say some old dude asks for a lap dance "Hey you stupid tramp, give me a lap dance..."

Of course, this kind of talk Pisces you off so you say "Why?" And just then, the old dude shows you a wad of cash. So you say "oh, you have money."

Why Oh You, that spells you. Practice it out loud. I'm here to help.

im no bodys whore for money i pik and chose who i do whatfor. as far as my speling im saving to go bak to shcool if some body dont like it fuck em If yuo want to help come towere i work and tip somebody els not me i wont dance for yuo.......thanks for tryign to be a smart ass now fuck off

[Jimmy Lester {RIP}]

I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but I agree with Jimmy Fucking Lester. He must have a soft heart after all.

Well I don't need your approval, do I?

I just feel sorry for this simple little twit. At some point she's going to need to fill out an application for a job that does not include grinding on old dudes' dicks.

I wish I knew where she went to school I would go there and personally beat the shit out of her English teacher.

[Jimmy Lester {RIP}]

im no bodys whore for money i pik and chose who i do whatfor. as far as my speling im saving to go bak to shcool if some body dont like it fuck em If yuo want to help come towere i work and tip somebody els not me i wont dance for yuo.......thanks for tryign to be a smart ass now fuck off

Oh, this is awesome! We've made real progress. I am proud of you!

First, you realize the problem (and we all know that step one is admitting that you have a problem). You are saving to go back to school. Good.

Now, I'm not charging you for this. It's free. Y-O-U. It spells "you". Try it without the anger. It's much easier than you think.

[DivaBitch]

im no bodys whore for money i pik and chose who i do whatfor. as far as my speling im saving to go bak to shcool if some body dont like it fuck em If yuo want to help come towere i work and tip somebody els not me i wont dance for yuo.......thanks for tryign to be a smart ass now fuck off

Oh, this is awesome! We've made real progress. I am proud of you!

First, you realize the problem (and we all know that step one is admitting that you have a problem). You are saving to go back to school. Good.

Now, I'm not charging you for this. It's free. Y-O-U. It spells "you". Try it without the anger. It's much easier than you think.

how abuot FUCK YUO........hows that for speling?

[Jimmy Lester {RIP}]

im no bodys whore for money i pik and chose who i do whatfor. as far as my speling im saving to go bak to shcool if some body dont like it fuck em If yuo want to help come towere i work and tip somebody els not me i wont dance for yuo.......thanks for tryign to be a smart ass now fuck off

Oh, this is awesome! We've made real progress. I am proud of you!

First, you realize the problem (and we all know that step one is admitting that you have a problem). You are saving to go back to school. Good.

Now, I'm not charging you for this. It's free. Y-O-U. It spells "you". Try it without the anger. It's much easier than you think.

how abuot FUCK YUO........hows that for speling?

MO-THER-FUCK-ER!

I can't figure out why some people have to be so fucking shitty! I was just trying to be helpful. Fuck!

You said you were going to pay for school. I was giving you free information. I guess you don't appreciate anything at all! FREE!

You have issues. Fuck!

[DivaBitch]

i feel so specul that yuo only come bak to see if i repled to yuor post.......yuo r such a drama queen.
here fill this out and give it to a mod asshole............... i dont take shit from guys

[Jimmy Lester {RIP}]

i feel so specul that yuo only come bak to see if i repled to yuor post.......yuo r such a drama queen.
here fill this out and give it to a mod asshole............... i dont take shit from guys

No need to feel "spcul" on my behalf. I get a kick out the notifications telling me someone responded to my typing. And thanks for doing that.

I also got a kick out of your "butt hurt" thingy. Keep up the good work. I may be drunk, and I may be abrasive, but I only want the best for you.

BTW, I agree that the mods are assholes. Too (that means "a higher degree" and "also") bad they turned down your application to become one. Man, that would have been cool!

So where do you work? Is it a big place? Upscale? Nice?

[Badfellow]

I'm going to have to kill one of you with a paintball baseball bat.

[mistah willies]

I'm going to have to kill one of you with a paintball baseball bat.

One would enjoy the painful process, and the other would enjoy watching. Like dinosaurs from the Sado-Masozoic Era, perhaps.


They deserve the pink BenWa Bat™



.

[drunkin' Wisconsinite]

I'm envisioning a pay per view event on the horizon here. We can watch it in The Shed on that old black and white TV - assuming the power has been reconnected of course.

[NYDingbat]

Or unwilling or unable to speak English.

[DivaBitch]

I'm going to have to kill one of you with a paintball baseball bat.

how abuot just a good spankig.....*wink

[Dear Booze]

What a jolly old asshole, that old St Nick is.

He seems to have puked on my carpet, pissed into my boot, and broke a valuable Japanese Maple of the Bloodgood variety.

I have very few recollections from last night. Except for a few photos, two Uber receipts, and the aforementioned destruction, I would have no proof that I even left the house.

[oettinger]

Is this a game of odd-one-out?

Or is it find the hidden flask?

Which santa hates children?