[quote="Fast Cast"]Few people know that Oggar was a finalist for the brewmaster's position at Coor's brewery. They planned to utilize a master recipe for Coor's Light based on the composition of his urine, until it was determined that the ABV was much too high to be a Coor's product.[/quote]
ha ha! burn!
Top Ten (or so) Facts About Oggar
Moderators: Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge
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One for the Frog
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
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Originally, the solar system had two suns. On one of his lonely weekends Oggar distilled one of them and created the cocktail Tequila Sundown. It was obvious that one had to drink this down in one, hence the name. After accomplishing this in 34 seconds, Oggar headbutted the then fifth planet, accidentally. That's for the origin of the asteroid belt.
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Fast Cast
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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- Location: Soaking in it
A Minnesota scientist recently discovered that global warming and the unprecedented shrinking of glaciers is directly correlated to the amount of ice needed to make Oggar's drinks in any given week.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
Oggar was named Miss America six times. Then they simplified the ill-advised "Drinking Bourbon while wearing a Swimsuit" competition.
Muhammad Ali licenses the nickname, "The Greatest," from Oggar. He talked better before he missed a payment.
Budweiser actually makes really delicious beer. They just can't afford to make enough for anyone but Oggar.
The Hundred Years War was actually England vs. Oggar.
The laws of thermodynamics, the Doppler Effect, and the Theory of Relativity were all discovered solely to figure out how fast we would all travel when thrown by Oggar.
Muhammad Ali licenses the nickname, "The Greatest," from Oggar. He talked better before he missed a payment.
Budweiser actually makes really delicious beer. They just can't afford to make enough for anyone but Oggar.
The Hundred Years War was actually England vs. Oggar.
The laws of thermodynamics, the Doppler Effect, and the Theory of Relativity were all discovered solely to figure out how fast we would all travel when thrown by Oggar.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. - Henry Lawson
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Fast Cast
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
- Location: Soaking in it
The fine people at the Jim Beam Distillery once almost mistakenly gave a batch of Booker's the batch number designation 56001. They quickly realized that Briantologists worldwide would riot for the opportunity to procure the bottles, and instead erected a small Viking shrine in the very center of the rackhouse.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
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Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Project:Oggar was conceived during the closing days of the Cold War. This involved a genetically engineered hybrid between Sawquatchum Bourbonis and the T-800 viking hunter/drinker unit.
His goal: complete descimation of "Ivan's" vodka supply.
After the Fall of the Wall, the project was abandoned and Oggar (cue Knightrider music) was left to roam the land as a freelance booze hitman.
And so the story continues...
His goal: complete descimation of "Ivan's" vodka supply.
After the Fall of the Wall, the project was abandoned and Oggar (cue Knightrider music) was left to roam the land as a freelance booze hitman.
And so the story continues...
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
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DA DRUNK.COM
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 460
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Whitekiboko
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 325
- Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:43 pm
- Location: Charleston, SC
I wonder, does molson claim the <ahem> leavings for use in it's attempts at brewing?Badfellow wrote: Go back to your post curling-match circle jerk, sponsored by Molson Lite.
"I am not a ferry boat, I am a very manly sloop. Wherever I go, people stare at me in dumb admiration."
"Yeah? What happens when they speak?"
"Nevermind that..."
"Yeah? What happens when they speak?"
"Nevermind that..."
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Fast Cast
- Hooching Like Hemingway
- Posts: 3775
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
- Location: Soaking in it
And way too many have no sense of humor.DA DRUNK.COM wrote:Way too many dudes have a man crush on this guy...
It's a little known fact that Canada became a country because their beer sucked and it was too cold to age fine whiskey so Oggar banished their frozen tundra asses.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
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Jimmy&Guinney
- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
- Posts: 1421
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:21 am