Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

[Artful Drunktective]

Greetings and Happy Holidays callers!

It's that festive time where the year is winding down and a new year is arising.

What's on your mind? Are there resolutions? What are your expectations?

Call it in here so drunkards can assist and solve the drunkard world!

Let's start off a wonderful new world full of nothing but happy drunkards!

[Artful Drunktective]

Thanks.
University, I remember. Don`t give a rat`s ass.That`s my sound advice.
It`s like driving school, I`ll drive with or without the liscense. So guys, go fuck yourselfes!


You`ll be fine. Trust us

Thanks Oettinger, I've calmed down sufficiently now. I'll hope you wish me good luck in my Semester abroad in Hong Kong.

Hi and thank you for commenting LMduchess but can you introduce yourself please so we can get to know you better? Thanks!!!
http://moderndrunkardmagazine.com/bbs/v ... a3e5c62500

[oettinger]

Shit we hate - Christ`s bday. Fuck you Jesus.

Doc, is it normal that I hate christ`s mess?

[Badfellow]

Oh, Christ. Don't get me started on that guy.

[Badfellow]

What are your expectations?

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.

[oettinger]

Holy shit, god grief, this time o the year again. Family fights quickly followed by amateur night. And the watering-hole is stuck by once a year tryna-drinkers.
God kill me now!

[Artful Drunktective]

Shit we hate - Christ`s bday. Fuck you Jesus.

Doc, is it normal that I hate christ`s mess?

Thank you for calling Oettinger is it? Hmph?
I really shouldn’t be answering today because it is Shomer Shabbos but I’m sure my Jewish ex-wife Lilith won’t mind if I make an exception beings how you also appear to be Jewish. So I am in agreement that you should fuck Christmas and celebrate Hanukkah instead. HA!

Jokes aside, so what you are trying to say our little heathen friend, is that you hate the following:
Christ’s birthday, Tacky decorations, crowds, long lines, once a year tryna-drinkers, Christmas music, Christmas movies, Christmas trees, Christmas carols, Christmas cookies, nativity scenes, having to buy presents, going to church/mass/services, Santa Claus, lying to children about Santa Claus, eggnog, family gatherings, parades, ugly sweaters, high crime rates, crazed shoppers and the greed and gluttony of God fearing Christians trampling one another on Black Friday for a discount on a flat screen? All in celebrating in Jesus’ name?

This is how we celebrate Christ's fucking birthday and if you don’t want a part of it then Bah humbug!

What I recommend for you Mr. Scrooge, is celebration of a secular holiday like Festivus which is celebrated on December 23rd. It includes a Festivus dinner, an unadorned aluminum Festivus pole, practices such as the "Airing of Grievances" and "Feats of Strength", and the labeling of easily explainable events as "Festivus miracles". Try it, you may like it.

I will make a Festivus donation in your name to the Human Fund. Festivus for the rest of us!

[Artful Drunktective]

Holy shit, god grief, this time o the year again. Family fights quickly followed by amateur night. And the watering-hole is stuck by once a year tryna-drinkers.
God kill me now!

And don't worry about those tryna-drinkers. They will be going straight to hell with the other God fearing drys.

[Dear Booze]

Hello Dr Crane, are you listening?

To this:

https://youtu.be/XR9d4ESlpHY

[Badfellow]

Hey there, doc. Me again. I have a problem. It's about my pal named Foot Foot. You see, he likes to roam. Yes, my pal Foot Foot, he's never at home. Where, oh where, did my little Foot Foot go?

https://youtu.be/m3uNm6hltpQ

My pal Foot Foot, he does what he please. Yeah, my pal Foot Foot was probably eaten by Chinese. Where did my Foot Foot and his cat ass go?

[ThirstyDrunk]

Not trying to be a downer or anything, but I know exactly what happened to Foot-Foot, and it wasn't good.
You can go ahead and joke but I was there man, I lived it.

[Artful Drunktective]

Thank you for calling Badfellow and Dear Booze and no, I'm not listening! To Shaggs, Skaggs, Foot Foot, Cat Ass. Cat Cat, Club Foot, or anything of that nature. I am not fond of that cacophony that you call music.

'Let me tell you a little something about things I don't like: Boxing. Sporting events of any kind. Barbeques. Anal sex. Office parties. Buddy movies. Any dish made with marshmallows.

Things that I do like: The opera. The symphony. Elizabethan revenge dramas, hand jobs under the table at my favorite restaurant Le Cigare Volant, et cetera. So if you're no inclined in any of these interests, well, then frankly our association can be civil - at best.'

My producer will now field your crappy music calls to something called The Chasist

Thank you for your calls...I guess...

[RIPT2.0]

Things that I do like: The opera.[/url]

Thank you for your calls...I guess...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk6FIuXxK1M

But here's some symphony for you. I rather like Vivaldi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGdFHJXciAQ

[Badfellow]

Hey, doc. I was smoking a doobie and listening to Gilbert & Sullivan...

https://youtu.be/Z2OcbeGqbpU

...and that's about the jist of it.

...I know exactly what happened to Foot-Foot, and it wasn't good...

You need to take your time and do a good slow-cook on the barbeque. Ancient Chinese secret.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Do you pick out the pellets before or after cooking?