BEST DRUNK DIAL QUOTE/LINE

[Oggar]

she's never even told me; it musta been really good.

To my knowledge it went something like this.
Me:"Hey is the 'prick there?"
'prick's mom: "What?"
"Uh, is Paul there?"
"No."
"Damn because I'm drinking with Mojo Nixon right now and... Oh hey! This must be the whiskeybitch!"
"WHAT? Do you know what time it is?"
"Oh crap sorry." [click]

How the hell did I even have her number?

[Rip Rufus]

A short Facebook conversation between me (RR) and my fuckbuddy (FB):

(after a lull in conversation)
FB: Hey? Where'd you go?
RR: Sorry, I was reading an article about chili. I love chili!
FB: At least now I know where I am on your list - somewhere below chili.
RR: Huh? What do you mean?
FB: As far as you're concerned, I come after chili.
RR: No, you usually come after a couple rum & Cokes.

[TheBigCasino]

A short Facebook conversation between me (RR) and my fuckbuddy (FB):

(after a lull in conversation)
FB: Hey? Where'd you go?
RR: Sorry, I was reading an article about chili. I love chili!
FB: At least now I know where I am on your list - somewhere below chili.
RR: Huh? What do you mean?
FB: As far as you're concerned, I come after chili.
RR: No, you usually come after a couple rum & Cokes.

hehehehe, nice.

[Hardcore Stig]

Hey, as long as she comes she shouldn;t complain, you are obviously one of those modern me showing consideration as a lover lol.

Mind you I always claim to be very considerate because I won;t take up much of her time and she probably won;t feel a thing. I mean I couldn't bother her less!

[Savage]

Hey, as long as she comes she shouldn;t complain, you are obviously one of those modern me showing consideration as a lover lol.

Mind you I always claim to be very considerate because I won;t take up much of her time and she probably won;t feel a thing. I mean I couldn't bother her less!

A Victorian gentleman, you are, sir!

[daphne]

Gripping the Wheel -
"I'll tell ya', daph; don't piss on the cheese before you milk the cow."

[ivan]

Caller (slurring): " Who is this?"
Me: "You don't know who you called?"
Caller: "I didn't call you!"
<click>

Phone rings 2 minutes later and same conversation happens again.

My first 2 DDs with BMMS

I believe everyone has had this conversation with BMMS at least once.

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Caller (slurring): " Who is this?"
Me: "You don't know who you called?"
Caller: "I didn't call you!"
<click>

Phone rings 2 minutes later and same conversation happens again.

My first 2 DDs with BMMS

I believe everyone has had this conversation with BMMS at least once.

Only the the cool ones.

And when I say cool I mean cool like the other side of a Fonzie pillow. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Dr. Pat]

A conversation I had with a mate a few years ago at 5 in the morning:

Mate: Hey mate whats going on?
Me: What the fuck do think, I'm trying to sleep.
Mate: Oh, right. Ummm you reckon you could come give me a lift home?
Me: Are you serious? Get a cab.
Mate: Come on mate, please.

At this point my half asleep mind kicks in and I look at the phone.

Me: Your ringing me from your home phone you dickhead.
Mate: What do you mean?
Me: What the fuck do you think I mean? You are already at home.

Then I hear I a door open, my mates dad says "Why the fuck are you in the bathtub on the phone at 5 in the bloody morning??"
I start cracking up and my mate says,

Mate: Oh sorry mate, I have to go. I think my dad wants to use the bath.

Ahhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

[Savage]

Classic.

[waahoohah]

A conversation I had with a mate a few years ago at 5 in the morning:

Mate: Hey mate whats going on?
Me: What the fuck do think, I'm trying to sleep.
Mate: Oh, right. Ummm you reckon you could come give me a lift home?
Me: Are you serious? Get a cab.
Mate: Come on mate, please.

At this point my half asleep mind kicks in and I look at the phone.

Me: Your ringing me from your home phone you dickhead.
Mate: What do you mean?
Me: What the fuck do you think I mean? You are already at home.

Then I hear I a door open, my mates dad says "Why the fuck are you in the bathtub on the phone at 5 in the bloody morning??"
I start cracking up and my mate says,

Mate: Oh sorry mate, I have to go. I think my dad wants to use the bath.

Ahhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

What he said, only I won't need a ride, honest....

[Grace O'Malley]

No one calls me. I consider myself lucky.

[fiyah]

I walked into my regular bar one night and sat down.. This server comes up to me and asks, "Are you ok?"
"yeah, i think so.. why?"
"well you left some voicemail on my phone last night.. you said, 'katie why do the cops hate my beer belly so much?'"

[Resident Asshole]

From Ms. Asshole:

I bet ur sad bc ive got the boilermaker crowed out here!

[NYDingbat]

jp[qaiowetrhng*;oik@;oih# *#lkjha$#092384.}. @G%*JR$%a0948092nnn!!

- bluebottle