Ask Savage

[ThirstyDrunk]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hR5YNqE3K8

[Savage]

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I can't believe it happened to me, but a visit to an irregular Pakistani booze store resulted in me getting a Bottle of WT80 instead of WT101; the little fucker had it wrapped in paper before I got back from the beer aisle, and I didn't discover it until I reached the cabin 30 miles distant and then I drank the whole thing down so I can't bring it back intact but got charged for the high-test shit for sure and I'm upset and confused.
So my question is: Who do the Lions start at quarterback next week now that Stafford is out?

How the hell should I know? Why are you bothering me with such nonsense? Go outside and play.

[Savage]

I seem to keep drinking all my booze...and that makes me happy....any thoughts on how i can get more booze but spend less cash?

Are you young and cute? Become some cougar's boy toy. If you're less than attractive, or old and crusty, go to the bar and shout: "Drinks for everyone on me!" When the bartender looks around questioningly for the source of the offer that has everyone bellying up to the bar, sidle over and point to some random braying, posturing, sunglasses-wearing-indoors creep and say (in your quavering old man voice) "It was that guy." Since the jerk's probably already handed over his platinum/plutonium/kryptonite credit card, everyone (except annoying dbag) is happy.

Whichever route you take, don't forget to send me my consultant's fee. This is hard work, you know.

[Savage]

savage.. is there any hope in this world other than bourbon and booze??

No. And why would you care if there were? Wouldn't you already have everything that you need?


















i thought not....heh

[Savage]

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I can't believe it happened to me, but a visit to an irregular Pakistani booze store resulted in me getting a Bottle of WT80 instead of WT101; the little fucker had it wrapped in paper before I got back from the beer aisle, and I didn't discover it until I reached the cabin 30 miles distant and then I drank the whole thing down so I can't bring it back intact but got charged for the high-test shit for sure and I'm upset and confused.
So my question is: Who do the Lions start at quarterback next week now that Stafford is out?

They will probably start Bill Ford but I would like to see Stanton get some play.

Dear Savage,

How do we get Smatter and Asshole to stop talking about make believe football teams?

Get them drunk on alcopops. (2 or three each should do it.) Then, when they're giggling helplessly, we lock them in the spare room. Don't worry; they'll just have a pillow fight or something. Then we drink all the bourbon while they sleep it off.

[Savage]

Enough with the football, already. Start your own thread. I promise I'll stay away.

[Resident Asshole]

Football? I thought we were talking about Foxy Boxing!?! That's what I wanted!

[Smatter Noguts]

Football? I thought we were talking about Foxy Boxing!?! That's what I wanted!

Dude, don't you have a Deja Vu somewhere in south Lansing where that goes on? Problem being they don't serve booze there.

Agreed, though; I like a sport where everybody wins.

[peetie44]

Peetie: I'm not supposed to go on any board but the Pub, for reasons I cannot remember. And BTW, I believe you are not only older than me, but older than Grumpy, and that is saying something. As for bourbon, I am a cheap date, a woman of simple tastes. I like Maker's Mark. Over a bit of ice, as most places in my world tend to be overheated. P.S. Could you put up some more links to your music? It was cool..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaZQWzbb ... re=related

With thhe Spanish band, "Red House"... a cople of weeks ago...the dummr and guiitar player were only sittting in...we wuz drunnkl..

[Savage]

Peetie: I'm not supposed to go on any board but the Pub, for reasons I cannot remember. And BTW, I believe you are not only older than me, but older than Grumpy, and that is saying something. As for bourbon, I am a cheap date, a woman of simple tastes. I like Maker's Mark. Over a bit of ice, as most places in my world tend to be overheated. P.S. Could you put up some more links to your music? It was cool..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaZQWzbb ... re=related

With thhe Spanish band, "Red House"... a cople of weeks ago...the dummr and guiitar player were only sittting in...we wuz drunnkl..

That was cool. And I've always had a bit of a soft spot for dummrs.

also, you have cool taste in shirts. I'm using "cool" too much, but that's because I turned the A/C off because it costs an arm and a leg and an ear. That's what did in Van Gogh. He promised he'd send in the arm and the leg later, but he lied.

[fiyah]

Savage, why are you self-appointedly named thus?

...and why are bananas so good for me? They make me gag after a lot of whiskey..

[Savage]

Savage, why are you self-appointedly named thus?

...and why are bananas so good for me? They make me gag after a lot of whiskey..

Well, it's a little joke. The poem goes like this:

Savage, Savage, meek and mild,
Tender as a little child.
She will weep when you are sad,
She will laugh when you are glad.
But you mustn't get her riled,
Or she'll be some scary wild.

And I could make some vulgar joke about bananas, but I won't. I don't like raw bananas, I can only tolerate them when they are cooked.

[molson muscle]

Its friday and I am bored and hungry , what should I eat ?

[Savage]

Candied yams.

[peetie44]

With thhe Spanish band, "Red House"... a cople of weeks ago...the dummr and guiitar player were only sittting in...we wuz drunnkl..

That was cool. And I've always had a bit of a soft spot for dummrs.

Lots of alcohol + dyslexia + turning off the spell-checker = dummr