The Crappy Jokes thread!

[oettinger]

Primary school students protesting against yearly migration of unqualified kindergardeners into 1st grade

[Bur]

Finnish and Russian guy go to Sauna. Russian dies.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/a ... ssian-dead

[Palinka (RIP)]

Sorry about the quality and the foreshortening. However, if you click on the image and then select "View Image", you'll get the full picture.

[Smatter Noguts]

Betty Ford walks into a bar and orders a handful of barbituates and a sherry.

The bartender says, "That'll be $100. Say, we don't get many first ladies in here."

She replies, "At these prices you aren't gonna see any more..."

[Smatter Noguts]

A little farm boy hears a knock on the door, so he goes to answer it, and there stands the farmer from across the road, visably angry.

"Is your father home?"

"No, sir, he's at the bar in town."

"Is your mother home?"

"No sir, she's drinking with him."

"Is your big brother Freddy here?"

"No sir, he's driving them home. But I'd be happy to help you, you need to borrow something?"

"I need to talk to your folks about Freddy getting my daughter pregnant!"

The boy paused, pondering this, then said,

"Well sir, I can't help you there. I know Pa gets $100 for the Bull and $10 for the Rooster, but I don't know what he charges for Freddy."

[mistah willies]

heheheee!

nice

[Savage]

I'd tell my kangaroo joke again, but those rocks you throw hurt.

[treetop]

End Credits of, "Coming to America"

[Lush City]

Yes, it's about time for old Jews telling jokes. Don't blame me if you get a hernia.

[Savage]

Yes, it's about time for old Jews telling jokes. Don't blame me if you get a hernia.

Yeah, and you know, in the end, he's embarrassed for telling such a terrible joke. Hoo boy.

[Smatter Noguts]

Two rednecks are sitting around the farm drinking, with one trying to convince the other of the joy of pig fucking. After an hour or so Clem decides to try it, but comes back with a frown on his face.

"I dunno, Cletus, I didn't much care for that."

"Well, no shit asshole, ya picked the ugliest one!"

[oettinger]

This is still crappy jokes right? Lez go

The boss nun tells to the other nuns at service:

A condom was found in our abbey!

All nuns: (a shocked) huuuhhhhh
One nun: hehehehe

Boss nun: The condom was used!

All nuns: (a shocked) huuuhhhhh
One nun: hehehehe

Boss nun: But there was a hole in the condom

All nuns: hehehehe
One nun: (a shocked) huuuhhhhh

[Smatter Noguts]

A cracker goes to a lawyer to see about a divorce.
"What grounds you got?" asks the jurist
"Mud pit fer four wheelin, lil' shack where we makes Meth."
"No, I mean, you have a grudge?"
"Yassir, can't use it as it's full a garbage where the car ussa be."
"No, no, I'm talking 'bout yer wife. She a nagger?"
"No suh! But I caught her screwin' one, that's whay I wants a divorce!"

Banhammer in 5...4...3..2...

[booznik]

A cracker goes to a lawyer to see about a divorce.
"What grounds you got?" asks the jurist
"Mud pit fer four wheelin, lil' shack where we makes Meth."
"No, I mean, you have a grudge?"
"Yassir, can't use it as it's full a garbage where the car ussa be."
"No, no, I'm talking 'bout yer wife. She a nagger?"
"No suh! But I caught her screwin' one, that's whay I wants a divorce!"

Banhammer in 5...4...3..2...

Sorry, your Imperial Thirsty Drunkness, just couldn't resist moving that into this thread.

Smatter, that is an excellent crappy joke. I laughed.

[Smatter Noguts]

what's the difference between a lady jogger and a sewing machine?

the machine only got one bobbin.