Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health

[Thompson]

The grease is both your friend and your enemy.

I’ve noticed that . Your brain likes fat. It gets it going. Your intestines are another matter . Sugar helps in very small doses like a glass of Tang in the morning. Cigarettes actually are the best digestive calmer by far. You got a carton of cigarettes in the drawer and your irritable bowel syndrome is greatly reduced. Of course you have to have the booze.

[Thompson]

The thing that pisses me off, really, big time, is that the fucking phone keeps falling off the chair and getting a bigger crack in it and I know it falls off the chair, it’s been falling off the chair since day one but I’m too thick to get that in my mind and to keep it from falling off the chair.

[Thompson]

There is thunder and lightning now, and rain on the way. It’s got that smell, the rain. It will help the ground and plants. Oh, and Hell was full but I still had to pay the cabdriver . He asked if I wanted to try Heaven, and I said no.

[Hugh]

How the hell you get internet access in a shotgun shack in a Louisiana swamp?

[Thompson]

How the hell you get internet access in a shotgun shack in a Louisiana swamp?

Har har. I got Wi-Fi. I smashed my real phone to bits. Boy that was satisfying. Then I bought this phone but it has no number. Nobody can call or text and visa versa . It’s a problem though if you want to order food and shit. You can’t.

[Thompson]

I’m stealing that Hugh — “A shotgun shack in a Louisiana swamp.” Now, I do from time to time wrestle alligators and work the whiskey still, that be Uncle Chester’s still. It’s not hard work tending the still just tedious and a bit smelly. I only wrestle the alligators if I’m feeling mean.

[Thompson]

But back to diet and health. There is a link, a fine line, between the two. You have to have a theory before you jump into the deep end of the swimming pool. Do you see? You can’t go willy nilly into the deep end without a theory. So I’m here to help . If I can find my swimming trunks.

[Thompson]

I found the trunks but they are too big now. They fall down before I even jump in the water. I am a shadow of my former self and have to stand up twice to make it. Badfellow might could get me back to fighting weight, with lentils and his red beans and rice recipe. It is in and out. I’m with it one minute and out of it the next. Not that I really give a fuck mind you, just sharing an observation.

[Thompson]

Oh, one more thought, it seems I’m starting to understand bird talk. The call and response is almost like a blues song.

[Thompson]

These sissy film forums drive me crazy. Can’t do this and can’t say that, have to abide by the Rules. Fuck That! I am too old and too decrepit to abide by any motherfucking Rules. There is only one rule, or rather a sort of rule, you gotta have enough money to pay for your shit. You know? Then you can get back home and mope about everything and piss in your bucket. You made it, Goddamn it, and good for you. And then you can go on this board and post any fucking thing you want to. You don’t have to argue with Masha or Linda about being off topic and not fitting in with the group and shit like that. Gotta have money at the liquor store though, they don’t fuck around if you try a shenanigan.

[Thompson]

Now the main thing to avoid, if possible, is headache. The aspirin powders work in the morning but not so much in the afternoon or evening. But take them anyway. Quit griping about ulcers and a bloody stomach and shit like that and get those powers DOWN. The headache will kill you if you let it. It is worse than the toothache, worse than the gout pain in the middle toe, worse than the trapped gas that’s been trapped in there for three days. It will kill you, the headache, if you let it take over. You have to kill IT instead. Tricky. But usually the headache will subside and you will go on living and the pain will be just a memory and not a pain and . . .

[Thompson]

It goes away. That’s so fucking strange. One minute you are in excruciating pain and the next minute the pain is gone. ??? Pain is strange. When it takes off and leaves it leaves you high as a kite. Nothing better than feeling no pain.

[Thompson]

So I get to sleep finally about five or so and then at seven here is the landlord’s dog looking me right in the eyes and licking my face. Then, (Rooster is what I call him he’s an 8 month old black hound dog) he starts licking these terrible scab wounds on my left arm that continuously itch and are a bloody mess in the morning until he has fucking Healed them. Then he continues to sit by the couch, I guess to see if I’m okay and I’m coming to and remembered I left the back door open. This is Unbelievable to me. This is the Kindest, Nicest thing that’s ever happened to me.

[Thompson]

I’m still in awe. Rooster seems to have healed this left arm that a few days ago I was considering cutting off at the elbow. Not sure how to do that precisely but I was thinking on it. He’s not supposed to come over to this side of the shotgun, Rooster, but he did!

[Thompson]

Stay away from liqueurs if possible. Sugar is not really compatible with the hard. Most people think alcohol is metabolized into sugar. Absolutely not so. Alcohol is metabolized eventually into carbon dioxide and water. There are four types of calories — protein, fat, carbohydrates, and alcohol. Alcohol is the best and purest type of calorie because it has no food value.