Stress Management

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:54 am

When it seems that your day started out in hell, and went downwards from there, there is a simple technique that can alleviate some of your pain:

Lie down in a quiet, dimly lit place.
Tell everyone around you that you are not to be disturbed.
Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes.

Imagine yourself standing by a mountain stream. Birds are chirping and the sound of flowing water soothes you. A soft, cool breeze gently ruffles your hair.

Here you are safe; no one can bother you. You are far, far away from the hectic everyday world. The sun is shining through the leaves; you watch a butterfly flutter by.

The water is refreshing on your hands. It is so clean, and so clear. You have no trouble at all seeing the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water.

massivedrunk · Post by **massivedrunk** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:58 am

thanks for the advice dear, but ill just get a beer

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:00 am

Can I have one too?

massivedrunk · Post by **massivedrunk** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:02 am

sure go ahead yor are indeed the savage chef

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:05 am

I will cook with beer today, how about that? In the food too, I mean.

bottomsup · Post by **bottomsup** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:34 am

I can see his face now...

Mad Scientist · Post by **Mad Scientist** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:36 am

bottomsup wrote:I can see his face now...

Don't worry... Captain Mike Davis has had this coming for awhile... the fucker.

bottomsup · Post by **bottomsup** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:42 am

not sure who this Captin Mike guy is but he seemed to rub a few folks the wrong way.

massivedrunk · Post by **massivedrunk** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 10:03 am

fuck you captain mike davis

Mad Scientist · Post by **Mad Scientist** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 10:12 am

bottomsup wrote:not sure who this Captin Mike guy is but he seemed to rub a few folks the wrong way.

Imagine your soul as an entity separate from your body. Your soul wanted to do some good in this world, so it offered it's services to our armed forces. After a particularly strenuous day, your soul heads to the showers to wash the grit and grime of our society from it. As it starts to clean off, your soul accidentally drops the soap. It bends over and picks up the soap. "Oh shit... What the fuck is that?" That's Captain Mike Davis, abusing your soul right in it's metaphorical corn hole. I hope this helps. Fuck you Captain Mike Davis.

fdoosey · Post by **fdoosey** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 10:51 am

You might just make DPAW cry tears of joy, Herr Doktor.

Mad Scientist · Post by **Mad Scientist** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 11:17 am

fdoosey wrote:You might just make DPAW cry tears of joy, Herr Doktor.

Well shit... I'd be crying too, given the circumstances :shock:

fdoosey · Post by **fdoosey** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 11:30 am

Mad Scientist wrote:
fdoosey wrote:You might just make DPAW cry tears of joy, Herr Doktor.
Well shit... I'd be crying too, given the circumstances :shock:

I meant tears of joy in the eloquent description. If someone soul-raped me, I'd cry as well.

Soul Raping. Sounds like some college rock band.

deadpuppiesandwhores · Fri Oct 03, 2003 2:37 pm

fdoosey wrote:You might just make DPAW cry tears of joy, Herr Doktor.

y'know, this captain mike business should be getting old by now, but its not. i'm still laughing and spitting beer everywhere. it the joke that will never die, and i love y'all because of it.

fdoosey · Post by **fdoosey** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 2:55 pm

deadpuppiesandwhores wrote:
fdoosey wrote:You might just make DPAW cry tears of joy, Herr Doktor.
y'know, this captain mike business should be getting old by now, but its not. i'm still laughing and spitting beer everywhere. it the joke that will never die, and i love y'all because of it.

Hey, anything for a friend. And we're all drunks, so we'll forget the jokes and keep repeating them forever.

As for choking someone in a cool mountain stream, I have just the face. I came about 3 seconds from strangling that sonofabitch this morning. The guy's not my boss, hell, he ain't anyone's boss, and he's spazzing out because something didn't run last night, and over my shoulder nonstop. All 3 of the people I report to told him to back the hell off (in those exact words) and then he said he was gonna smack me around. Well, pally, that'll get his ass fired and maybe arrested. I swear to God Almighty if I hear more shit out of him, we're gonna go round and round.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

OK. All better. Now where'd I put that booze?