Are Bouncers Good or Evil?

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 3:36 am

I think bars should hire me (or my many clones) as bouncers. Short, chubby old broads; looking like the newb drinker's mommas. We wouldn't bust heads; we'd just nag the miscreants to death.

The Lush · Post by **The Lush** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 9:55 am

Savage wrote:I think bars should hire me (or my many clones) as bouncers. Short, chubby old broads; looking like the newb drinker's mommas. We wouldn't bust heads; we'd just nag the miscreants to death.

Nah, too busy chatting you up to start a fight is more likely, I know I would be.

Damn, one day, G will beat the living shit out of me.

bluefox · Post by **bluefox** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:10 am

It would behoove you to make acquaintances with the bouncers at your regular.

That way I get away with a lot more, and if anyone is starting a fight with me, it usually gets defused before I have to do anything physical.

You feel like a million bucks, when someone that was in your face is quickly escorted out of the building, while you are enjoying a couple of free rounds. Your guiness, Mr. bluefox.

G_W · Post by **G_W** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:42 am

I would say bouncers are like guns, knives, or any other tool. They can be used for good or bad. If the bouncer has it in his head to be a dick, or the bartender gives him free reign, or he is just having a bad day, then yeah, it's gonna be a bad deal. But if the bartender is cool about it, and the bouncer is nice and laid back, then it's all good.

MeanOldLady · Post by **MeanOldLady** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 1:08 pm

Jimmy&Guinney wrote:Neccesary evil.

stole the words right outta my mouth. sorta like the chp. sonsbitches make me sick, but who's gonna stop that maniac going 120 mph, swerving in and out of lanes, ostensibly with a death wish? fortunately bouncers don't really give me much sass. i'm a harmless little girl who looks (and only looks, mind you!) really sweet and innocent. i have had some male companions get sassed though, even though no one i've ever gona drinking with has ever caused any hubbub. just don't like the way they look, i guess.

hey, weren't you jimmy o'guinney on st pat's? how did you change your name? i kinda wanna change my name to something stupid like chronically irritated or cranky monkey.

Mayhem · Post by **Mayhem** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 1:21 pm

I agree with everything said so far. Bouncers are needed, and they are just people, so somedays good and some days bad. I also want the Oggar on my side at all times.

DrunkenJackFlask · Post by **DrunkenJackFlask** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 2:21 pm

Mayhem wrote:I agree with everything said so far. Bouncers are needed, and they are just people, so somedays good and some days bad. I also want the Oggar on my side at all times.

You never know when you'll have a toilet that needs to be broken by a face.

Mayhem · Post by **Mayhem** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 2:43 pm

DrunkenJackFlask wrote:
Mayhem wrote:I agree with everything said so far. Bouncers are needed, and they are just people, so somedays good and some days bad. I also want the Oggar on my side at all times.
You never know when you'll have a toilet that needs to be broken by a face.

Exactly.

Lifer · Post by **Lifer** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 3:03 pm

It's funny, I find bars with bouncer's who are allowed to drink while on duty seem to be less prone to stupid bouncer fights.
Same mentality of the DD or the one person at a party who isnt drinking. You get irritated more easily, annoyed at the drunk people, and are looking for any excuse to take out your rage on someone who is obviously too inhebriated to fight back properly.
In my local, the bouncer's all go to school with me, most of them play rugby, some are pretty nice guys and some are just big guys who don't talk much. They just card people on the way in (its near a campus) and chill by the bar or outside in the summer and wait for something to happen. When it does, they generally break it up and 86 the parties, and then get back to standing and IDing . A lot of people are afraid of them, since they're large and beastly, but since I often play sets at the bar, I've gotten to know them and seen them prevent more than a few idiots from fucking with my mixer or walking up on stage and stealing the mic (one got up, and he got the mic... but i unplugged it first and he got it in the head instead of the hand...god i hate jocks sometimes).

In conclusion, I'd say bouncers are as different as normal people....some good some bad, but almost allways they'll eventually do some good for you or your friends. Anyone who prevents someone from fucking up my bar is a friend of mine

I Can Quit Anytime · Post by **I Can Quit Anytime** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 9:43 pm

The world's most famous bouncer?

Mr. T was also one of the smartest bouncers, for he would stop trouble before it started, and that is the key to being a good bouncer:

When he wasn't working as a bodyguard, he filled in by working as a bouncer. One job he had was at Dingbat's club in Chicago. Club owner Ron Riskman says, "He was always very smartly dressed and he shaved his head completely bald. He'd confront trouble makers and say to them, "It's only fair to warn you that my patience is as long as the hair on my head." Most of them would get pretty quiet after that."

ref: http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/9540/mrlife.html

I think Mr. T's attitude is the best one for a bouncer. That Mr. T went on to a $3,000 a day career as a bodyguard and then an $80,000 a week gig on A Team shows that he is smarter than your average bouncers. I also loved him in Rockie. He was at his best in that role.

My attitude has always been that if I behave the bouncers will leave me alone and deal with troublemakers.

Personally, I think that bouncers should have to be certified and trained in violence prevention compliance techniques as opposed to fists, but would that ever happen?

Messenger · Post by **Messenger** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:03 pm

Ah, yes, as Sun Tzu said, "For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill." As well as any number of things that make The Art of War seem. now that I think of it, like a great manual for bouncers.

Lifer · Post by **Lifer** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:53 pm

the Art Of War is a brilliant manual for any form of physical activity where there is an opponent

say
drinking

and thanks, messenger, for reminding me I have a copy of that book!

with cue cards no less

hophead · Post by **hophead** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 7:43 am

In my bartending days, I made damn sure that everywhere I worked, I made friends with all the bouncers.

Atavist · Post by **Atavist** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 7:54 pm

Savage wrote:I think bars should hire me (or my many clones) as bouncers. Short, chubby old broads; looking like the newb drinker's mommas. We wouldn't bust heads; we'd just nag the miscreants to death.

Savage, I have a hard time seeing you bounce anyone. I would see you as more of pulling up a chair, pouring a quart of bourbon and telling them to shut the hell up, cause they're disturbing your drinking.

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:42 am

Atavist wrote:
Savage wrote:I think bars should hire me (or my many clones) as bouncers. Short, chubby old broads; looking like the newb drinker's mommas. We wouldn't bust heads; we'd just nag the miscreants to death.
Savage, I have a hard time seeing you bounce anyone. I would see you as more of pulling up a chair, pouring a quart of bourbon and telling them to shut the hell up, cause they're disturbing your drinking.

Tell me your story.

Oh yeah, she sounds like a bitch. You know, you shouldn't give up hope.

Somewhere out there is the perfect girl for you.

Of course, if said needy drunkard is a Class A asshole, I would tell him so. But as long as there is life, there is hope. And they just keep bottling that sweet, sweet bourbon every day.

Life is good.