Top Ten (or so) Facts About Oggar

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:12 pm

The fine people at the Jim Beam Distillery have announced a limited edition batch of Booker's aged in barrels made with Oggar's toothpicks. For those of you concerned about the size of the toothpicks, rest assured they have cut the toothpicks in half so that the barrels would be the right size.

Fred O'Lisby · Post by **Fred O'Lisby** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:10 pm

Oggar once bankrupted two establishments holding "open bar" specials in one night.

Kegdrainer · Post by **Kegdrainer** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:03 pm

rumor has it the grand canyon used to be a 400 foot deep river of bourbon until oggar took a weekend trip there.

Barca · Post by **Barca** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:50 am

There are only three known ways to kill Oggar. Two of them involve a deliberately placed black hole and Halley's comet. The other one necessitates only a pack of Saltines and a Greedo action figure, but you need to have a black belt in two kinds of jujitsu and be a Bolshoi-level ballet dancer.

Jesus weeps....so that Oggar has a mixer.

bluebottle · Post by **bluebottle** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:04 am

the 1,000 lakes were shaken awake by his chuckle. - wait, 10,000 lakes. haha, sorry.

POGO · Post by **POGO** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:33 pm

Apache legends has the Grand Canyon is due to Oggar always peeing in the same spot.

Yes, the Colorado river begins in the alley at the back of certain bar in Mankato.

POGO · Post by **POGO** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:56 pm

Oggar's Manhattan is garnished with New Jersey.

Lifer · Post by **Lifer** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:01 am

The Red Cross decided that Oggar can't legally give blood based on the fact that it is chemically considered flammable.

POGO · Post by **POGO** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:12 am

Lifer wrote:The Red Cross decided that Oggar can't legally give blood based on the fact that it is chemically considered flammable.

They use it to run their ambulances, however.

danger awesome · Post by **danger awesome** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:16 pm

Oggar can count to infinity - he once drank that many double-Beam rocks.

ruiner · Post by **ruiner** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:58 pm

oggar can make his member a full foot long, just by bending it in half.

Post by **Badfellow** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:34 pm

*No man is an island... except for Oggar, who might in fact qualify as a continent.

*During the winter, Oggar runs a training village for people who compete in Russian FM radio station vodka drinking contests. He's also author of best selling books such as "Drink Your Way To Success" and "Winning Blackout Strategies". You can purchase his 14 cassette motivational series directly from me. Simply paypal (1) gallon of Jim Beam Black plus S&H to my account. Satisfaction guarenteed or I will regurgitate your bourbon for a full refund. Order now!

Post by **Badfellow** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:07 am

Professor Roomie · Post by **Professor Roomie** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:46 am

You know that smell in the woods that everyone thinks is Bigfoot? Oggar.

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 10:09 pm

Oggar's beerfarts are the real explanation for holes in the ozone layer..