Top Ten (or so) Facts About Oggar

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:58 am

The legend continues:

MeanOldLady > i probably drank it
MeanOldLady > or whathisface did
Judge > Never saw you there
MeanOldLady > but most likely it was oggar
MeanOldLady > i was there all the time
MeanOldLady > i had my own room that i only slept it for one night
Judge > upstairs....it was 'off limits'
MeanOldLady > oh yeah, haha
MeanOldLady > HA!
Judge > someone made a run for the stairs and Oggar moved like the Flash and blocked the landing
MeanOldLady > and NO ONE disobeys oggar
MeanOldLady > it would be most unwise
MeanOldLady > he's about 10 times stronger than he looks, and he don't look like some noodle armed choir boy
Judge > I've disobeyed but he just laughed as I made an ass of myself
MeanOldLady > usually, he doesn't give a fuck
MeanOldLady > i guess knowing you can kill anyone with your thumb makes you shrug stuff off
Judge > trying to corral the 'blacked out' Oggar is a chore all by itself
MeanOldLady > if you're unfortunate enough to piss him off, you die
Judge > never would happen
MeanOldLady > he's a laid back guy
MeanOldLady > people TRY to fight him and he doesn't care
ampersand > I've heard the legends
MeanOldLady > there are some poor, poor fools who have gotten on his bad side
MeanOldLady > they're all crippled and/or dead now
Judge > the legends are not only true but are lacking in their content
MeanOldLady > nice guy. who can kill us all with his STARE

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:51 am

He doesn't even need to be conscious to pleasure women.

Palmwine Drunkard · Post by **Palmwine Drunkard** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:18 am

The Oggar met the Buddha on the Path to the Holy Tree.
The Buddha asked the Oggar
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
The Oggar whomped The Buddha upside His head.
The Buddha smiled and handed The Oggar
The Perfect Beer of Enlightenment.

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:27 am

Glühwein Drunkard wrote:The Oggar met the Buddha on the Path to the Holy Tree.
The Buddha asked the Oggar
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
The Oggar whomped The Buddha upside His head.
The Buddha smiled and handed The Oggar
The Perfect Beer of Enlightenment.

I nominate Palmy as the poet laureate of this thread. Well done!

danger awesome · Post by **danger awesome** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:54 am

Fast Cast wrote:He doesn't even need to be conscious to pleasure women.

The elusive female tea-bagging, truly a rare sight.

Palmwine Drunkard · Post by **Palmwine Drunkard** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:56 am

grey goose wrote:
Glühwein Drunkard wrote:The Oggar met the Buddha on the Path to the Holy Tree.
The Buddha asked the Oggar
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
The Oggar whomped The Buddha upside His head.
The Buddha smiled and handed The Oggar
The Perfect Beer of Enlightenment.
I nominate Palmy as the poet laureate of this thread. Well done!

Thanks my friend!

Cheers (although it's Gin tonight)

Barca · Post by **Barca** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:10 pm

"One Bourbon, one Scotch, and one Beer" was inspired by Oggar's newborn feeding instructions.

NAFTA prohibits displaying the "Drink Canada Dry" slogan within fifteen miles of Mankato.

Oggar drinks as much as Barack Obama rocks.

Oggar had the superpower of flight, but quit when they banned carryon liquids.

whiskeyprick · Post by **whiskeyprick** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:03 pm

Ironically, the only game Oggar has ever lost is one He invented: Pants.

Post by **Badfellow** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:16 pm

Oggar demands the first born of Mankato as garnish for his Manhattans

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:33 am

Oggar's baseline BAC is so high that his perspiration is flammable. Fortunately, fire fears him.

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:11 am

bumped for singco's reading pleasure..

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:44 am

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven" backwards, you hear Oggar ordering a pitcher of Beam and Coke.

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:19 am

The Wacky Drunk building is real.

Most of the confusion leading to it's urban legend has to do with the fact that it wasn't designed that way, but the modifications occurred after Oggar gave the architect and entire construction team a simultaneous headbutt.

One for the Frog · Post by **One for the Frog** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:53 pm

dan_uk wrote:
Fast Cast wrote:He doesn't even need to be conscious to pleasure women.

The elusive female tea-bagging, truly a rare sight.

Oh, my. I haven't seen this one.

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:45 am

Oggar's favorite breakfast was the inspiration for John Lee Hooker's One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.