A place for general talk.
Moderators: Artful Drunktective , mistah willies , NYDingbat , Judge , oettinger , Oggar , Badfellow , Mr Boozificator
Fast Cast
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3775 Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
Location: Soaking in it
Post
by Fast Cast » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:43 am
Oggar drinks so much that 9,000 of Minnesota's lakes were created by him relieving himself. The other 1,000 were formed by his footprints during the spring thaw.
Feel free to add any you are aware of.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
Fast Cast
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3775 Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
Location: Soaking in it
Post
by Fast Cast » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:45 am
The US military created an indestructible toilet resistant even to bunker buster bombs. It was not, however, resistant to Oggar.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
The Scotsman
Lord of Benders
Posts: 299 Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
Location: Lurking
Post
by The Scotsman » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:47 am
Oggar once used the power of science to breed herds of formerly extinct dinosaurs back into existance, only to kill them all so that he could claim responsibility for thier extinction.
The Scotsman
Lord of Benders
Posts: 299 Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
Location: Lurking
Post
by The Scotsman » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:50 am
Oggar smashes empty kegs on his forehead.
GSG
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 7078 Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 8:18 am
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by GSG » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:00 am
Oggar makes Chuck Norris cry.
"Spiny norman wins on the bizzare terror stakes, if you haven't been stared at by a 40-foot hedgehog, you haven't lived." - Saltandgin
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
Fast Cast
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3775 Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
Location: Soaking in it
Post
by Fast Cast » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:04 am
Oggar invented the game "Rock, Paper, Pitcher of Beam and Coke".
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
GSG
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 7078 Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 8:18 am
Post
by GSG » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:06 am
Oggar makes blind men see and lame men walk by gallantly drinking their alcohol for them.
"Spiny norman wins on the bizzare terror stakes, if you haven't been stared at by a 40-foot hedgehog, you haven't lived." - Saltandgin
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
The Scotsman
Lord of Benders
Posts: 299 Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
Location: Lurking
Post
by The Scotsman » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:11 am
The Earth was created from part of the debris caused by a battle between Oggar and Chuck Norris. Scientists speculate that the planet is actually Chuck Norris' nose.
greygoose
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 11385 Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2004 11:56 am
Location: Holdin' your Higgs boson hostage
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by greygoose » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:13 am
Upon seeing Jesus turn water into wine, Oggar turned to him and said 'pffffft, watch this !'
why is my moral compass always pointed east? that's the direction of the nearest liquor store.
Fast Cast
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3775 Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
Location: Soaking in it
Post
by Fast Cast » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:16 am
The Minnesota Oktoberfest is actually a misnomer. It was really called the Oggtoberfest, but they misspelled it on the flyers.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
The Scotsman
Lord of Benders
Posts: 299 Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
Location: Lurking
Post
by The Scotsman » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:17 am
The mere act of Oggar touching you transfers so much alcohol into your bloodstream that you will die instantly.
Fast Cast
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3775 Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
Location: Soaking in it
Post
by Fast Cast » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:27 am
The brewing vats for Budweiser are actually Oggar's old toddler cups. Their natural beechwood aging process? That's his old toothpicks, it's the primary reason the beer registers an ABV.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
GSG
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 7078 Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 8:18 am
Post
by GSG » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:29 am
Oggar can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
"Spiny norman wins on the bizzare terror stakes, if you haven't been stared at by a 40-foot hedgehog, you haven't lived." - Saltandgin
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
Fast Cast
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3775 Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:45 pm
Location: Soaking in it
Post
by Fast Cast » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:31 am
LollyGSG wrote: Oggar can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Unless he gets there first, in which case there's usually nothing left for the horse.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
greygoose
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 11385 Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2004 11:56 am
Location: Holdin' your Higgs boson hostage
Post
by greygoose » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:31 am
LollyGSG wrote: Oggar can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Word on the street is Oggar can go to Burger King and order a Quarter Pounder. And he gets it.
why is my moral compass always pointed east? that's the direction of the nearest liquor store.