Top Ten (or so) Facts About Oggar

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:43 am

Oggar drinks so much that 9,000 of Minnesota's lakes were created by him relieving himself. The other 1,000 were formed by his footprints during the spring thaw.

Feel free to add any you are aware of.

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:45 am

The US military created an indestructible toilet resistant even to bunker buster bombs. It was not, however, resistant to Oggar.

The Scotsman · Post by **The Scotsman** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:47 am

Oggar once used the power of science to breed herds of formerly extinct dinosaurs back into existance, only to kill them all so that he could claim responsibility for thier extinction.

The Scotsman · Post by **The Scotsman** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:50 am

Oggar smashes empty kegs on his forehead.

GSG · Post by **GSG** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:00 am

Oggar makes Chuck Norris cry.

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:04 am

Oggar invented the game "Rock, Paper, Pitcher of Beam and Coke".

GSG · Post by **GSG** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:06 am

Oggar makes blind men see and lame men walk by gallantly drinking their alcohol for them.

The Scotsman · Post by **The Scotsman** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:11 am

The Earth was created from part of the debris caused by a battle between Oggar and Chuck Norris. Scientists speculate that the planet is actually Chuck Norris' nose.

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:13 am

Upon seeing Jesus turn water into wine, Oggar turned to him and said 'pffffft, watch this!'

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:16 am

The Minnesota Oktoberfest is actually a misnomer. It was really called the Oggtoberfest, but they misspelled it on the flyers.

The Scotsman · Post by **The Scotsman** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:17 am

The mere act of Oggar touching you transfers so much alcohol into your bloodstream that you will die instantly.

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:27 am

The brewing vats for Budweiser are actually Oggar's old toddler cups. Their natural beechwood aging process? That's his old toothpicks, it's the primary reason the beer registers an ABV.

GSG · Post by **GSG** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:29 am

Oggar can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Fast Cast · Post by **Fast Cast** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:31 am

LollyGSG wrote:Oggar can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Unless he gets there first, in which case there's usually nothing left for the horse.

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:31 am

LollyGSG wrote:Oggar can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Word on the street is Oggar can go to Burger King and order a Quarter Pounder. And he gets it.