White Castle: Fine Drunken Dining

Post by **Badfellow** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:23 am

On the subject of fine drunken dining...

White Castle is an infamous chain of U.S. fast food restaurants which often spawns gastronomic controversy as well as adverse conditions within the digestive tract. Their flagship hamburger (often referred to as a Slyder or a Belly Bomber by region) is a liliputian version of a standard hamburger. Thus, combined with their beguilingly yummy flavor, it is no great feat for a person to pack as many as 10-12 of these gut grenades into their drunken, slobbering hole. I've done it myself.

There are a few facts, however, that we should establish regarding the White Castle hamburger.

*1-4 Range- This is considered a "safe" level of exposure. Side effects may include onion flavored belches for 4 to 6 hours after ingestion. Whiskey is known to augment this factor.

*4-8 Range- Borderline dangerous exposure to slydotoxins. Additional symptoms may include onion flavored hiccups, mild to moderate gut rot and temporary loss of the ability to drink shots.

*8-12 Range- Trust me, at this point you do NOT want to puke. And be sure to ration yourself at least 1/2 roll of toilet paper for the morning.

White Castle also sells their own version of a hand held nuclear device, the Crave Case, a cardboard briefcase with a whopping capacity of 30 hamburgers.

& · Post by & » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:27 am

I could go for some white castle just about...anytime.

that place is the best.

when I moved to florida way back when, all the transplants told me that waffle house was so much better. it was nice, but not as nice as the tasty goodness of a white castle burger.

gthevinoslinger · Post by **gthevinoslinger** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:56 am

waffle house > krystal > white castle

sorry, it's just the way it is. i'd mention the courtesy diner ( > all of the above for a drunkard), but there are only two of them, and they're both here in the stl.

Sgt. HSA · Post by **Sgt. HSA** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:59 am

And for all of you that don't have the WC restaurants around, you can buy the burgers at the supermarket. Just pop 'em in the microwave and done. Of course, you miss out on the unique ambience of actually going to the castle, but hey, I'll take it.

And I have to say, Badfellow's assessment is right on the money.

JohnnyT · Post by **JohnnyT** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:36 pm

i do miss White Castle. But at least we have In-n-Out.

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:39 pm

I'll go ahead and flaunt it. I had them for lunch.

Mayhem · Post by **Mayhem** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:54 pm

grey goose wrote:I'll go ahead and flaunt it. I had them for lunch.

You are getting on my last nerve, n00b.

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:56 pm

Mayhem wrote:
grey goose wrote:I'll go ahead and flaunt it. I had them for lunch.
You are getting on my last nerve, n00b.

Stow it, Charles Nelson Reilly.

Mayhem · Post by **Mayhem** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:01 pm

grey goose wrote:
Mayhem wrote:
grey goose wrote:I'll go ahead and flaunt it. I had them for lunch.
You are getting on my last nerve, n00b.
Stow it, Charles Nelson Reilly.

Eat my fuck, doodyhead.

scooter1979 · Post by **scooter1979** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:19 pm

From what I hear, the only WC in my town has been torn down. Sure, it kinda sucks, the place has been there for as long as I can remember, but thank fucking god. Seriously, "chicken rings?" Chicken fucking donuts! That just ain't right, yo.

(I might have been sadder if it was in walking distance, because chicken donuts do sound kinda good at 4am after half a bottle of shit gin, half a bottle of bourbon, some Jager, and, um, other "party favors.")

gthevinoslinger · Post by **gthevinoslinger** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:21 pm

scooter1979 wrote:Seriously, "chicken rings?" Chicken fucking donuts! That just ain't right, yo.

i can think of only two places on the chicken that might produce a "ring." one of them is the neck.

scooter1979 · Post by **scooter1979** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:24 pm

Ewwww.

& · Post by & » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:09 pm

scooter1979 wrote:From what I hear, the only WC in my town has been torn down. Sure, it kinda sucks, the place has been there for as long as I can remember, but thank fucking god. Seriously, "chicken rings?" Chicken fucking donuts! That just ain't right, yo.

(I might have been sadder if it was in walking distance, because chicken donuts do sound kinda good at 4am after half a bottle of shit gin, half a bottle of bourbon, some Jager, and, um, other "party favors.")

Chickens fuck donuts?

scooter1979 · Post by **scooter1979** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:35 pm

No no, other way around. "Chicken-fucking" donuts. It's quite amazing, really. You should see them choke 'em.

*rimshot*

bob robertson · Post by **bob robertson** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:19 pm

children childern children, i used to eat crave cases for breakfast, during our daily safety meeting, before we hit the salt mines and it wont do anything to you that 4lbs of bacon wont do. relax.

and nOOb, use baby wipes, not toilet paper. youd never sent a boyscout to iraq, so why even bother with the charmin. id have figured an experienced drunk would know these things, but maybe the moisture behind your ears is beginning to show, as far as gustatory excess is concerned.