the attempted murder of dan_uk

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danger awesome
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the attempted murder of dan_uk

Post by danger awesome »

Some of you may be overjoyed (others dismayed) to hear that while i was thoroughly plowed last night, some absolute bitch tried to strangle me to death.

Last night, in essence, is completely unexplainable - i remember starting drinking at the Gloc, all very nice and with friends, nothing at all for about 5 hours then some scary batshit insane girl with her hands tightly gripping my throat and crushing my windpipe trying to murder me, and then waking up in my own bed this morning.
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Post by & »

well....did you get her number?!?!?
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l...
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Post by l... »

sorry. i was undrunk and murderous.
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

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Fast Cast
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Post by Fast Cast »

I'd say you blacked out, drank her cocktail by mistake, and she's really serious about her drinking. There's only one thing you can do now - marry her.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
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Post by danger awesome »

Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...
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Post by & »

dan_uk wrote:Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...
you need to start going for cougars
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Post by l... »

dan_uk wrote:Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...
is Dave my new future ex-boyfriend? If so...tell him I get Botox in a few weeks!
seriously though Dan..wtf is up with women trying to manhandle you? you must smell real good and stuff.:)
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

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Post by Oggar »

Were you robbed of anything?
Last edited by Oggar on Fri May 04, 2007 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by & »

liz... wrote:
dan_uk wrote:Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...
is Dave my new future ex-boyfriend? If so...tell him I get Botox in a few weeks!
seriously though Dan..wtf is up with women trying to manhandle you? you must smell real good and stuff.:)
it's all that axe body spray, the gamecube playing, and the BIG BLACK DILDOS!
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Post by l... »

& wrote:
liz... wrote:
dan_uk wrote:Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...
is Dave my new future ex-boyfriend? If so...tell him I get Botox in a few weeks!
seriously though Dan..wtf is up with women trying to manhandle you? you must smell real good and stuff.:)
it's all that axe body spray, the gamecube playing, and the BIG BLACK DILDOS!
i was going to write 'axe' but feared they did not have such a FINE product in Dans country.
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.

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Post by Fast Cast »

Oggar wrote:Were you robbed of anything?
Evidently, just his virginity. I can't believe they slipped him roofies.
I just wish there were some actual drunkards around here who can handle themselves like adults while still acting like retards - liquor&poker
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Post by & »

liz... wrote:
& wrote:
liz... wrote: is Dave my new future ex-boyfriend? If so...tell him I get Botox in a few weeks!
seriously though Dan..wtf is up with women trying to manhandle you? you must smell real good and stuff.:)
it's all that axe body spray, the gamecube playing, and the BIG BLACK DILDOS!
i was going to write 'axe' but feared they did not have such a FINE product in Dans country.
mike ships it to him in discreet packaging
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Post by whiskeyprick »

Fast Cast wrote:
Oggar wrote:Were you robbed of anything?
Evidently, just his virginity. I can't believe they slipped him roofies.
you cant rape the willing.
Gambling is a disease, but it's the only one you can win a ton of money for having - Norm Macdonald
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Post by danger awesome »

Oggar wrote:Were you robbed of anything?
Other than the last shreds my dignity, possibly about £20 in cash, i can't be sure.


AXE = 'Lynx' in the UK, we do have it.

Dave unfortunately is also taken, but i already said, Matt's fair game, as are Jamie + AD, all of whom are drunkards + slightly insane.
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Post by greygoose »

& wrote:
liz... wrote:
dan_uk wrote:Dave informs me that from his memory, her (average hotness) and her friend (man the harpoons!) kept buying me drinks.

I fear i may have been drugged...
is Dave my new future ex-boyfriend? If so...tell him I get Botox in a few weeks!
seriously though Dan..wtf is up with women trying to manhandle you? you must smell real good and stuff.:)
it's all that axe body spray
Its no Sex Panther. They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
why is my moral compass always pointed east? that's the direction of the nearest liquor store.
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