6 people you meet in bars

mekong · Post by **mekong** » Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:03 pm

ya thats crap i go to bars in the afternoon and im a blast by 10 or ll and i dont quit untill its closed whats their classification on that or maby i just a little bit of all of those things 1love drinkin 2love agood time 3love chicks
in that order

fdoosey · Post by **fdoosey** » Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:12 pm

It's crap.

Anyone in a classic Bar Hunker could be misidentified as a Mr. Surly.

Suffice it to say, no one from this forum probably frequents the dumps she haunts.

I think there was a similar article in aeons past which was likely deleted.

Let's not forget:

The Intellectual
This guy knows it all. Or at least pretends to. You could be talking baseball, quantum mechanics, or spitting watermelon seeds for accuracy. This guy's been there, done that, and has "something I wanna tell ya" about it. You come in for a tall, cool, Brass Monkey, and this guy's talked the balls off it with advice, tips, and "how it really is".

* Likes: Ears.
* Dislikes: Being called out on something.
* Downside: Potential barfight if challenged, causing drink spillage and/or legal problems.
* Upside: Pretend you're deaf and he'll be gone faster.

Bluespook · Post by **Bluespook** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:39 pm

This should be retitled the kind of people you meet at Applebees

Sgt. HSA · Post by **Sgt. HSA** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:48 pm

Oggar wrote: Desperately Lonely Creep- By a certain age people have friends or are at least adept enough at talking to people they don't creep them out- not this guy. Watch him cruise from full table to full table as the occupants attempt to close ranks before he can stand eerily silent next to people or awkwardly insinuate himself into the groups conversation.
Likes: Anyone who will talk to him and staring
Dislikes: You have to talk to him to find out
Upside: Some one to talk too
Downside: Will assume talking to him indicates you are his best friend. Also the serial killer/sex predator vibe he gives off.

Douger ?

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:47 pm

The auteur has clearly never been to our local.

noirly · Post by **noirly** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:28 pm

applebees drunks . . . .for sure!

Post by **Judge** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:40 pm

I Just Turned 21-Afternoon Guy
Usually shows up about 4pm with guys he works with and his boss. Nice kid but knows that it's different now that he's not at the house party. Tenative at first by the third drink he's laughing way too loud and by 5:15 they're herding him out to the parking lot hoping he pukes up those Patrons before getting into the back seat of the truck.
Likes:everybody calling him "kid" cuz he gets a pass on being stupid.
Dislikes:everybody calling him "kid" cuz the women look at him funny.

Fat Creep Reading a Paperback Ordering Cheep Beer by the Pitcher
At first you don't give him a second thought. Then some unsuspecting guy or guys will pull up too close and he'll engage in a little conversation about the tennis match on the TV. This will turn quickly into some kind of correlation to how genetics passed down by the Egyptians effects Tennis as well as international relations and anything else his muddy recollections of the History Channel conjours up.

Likes:a small tavern where they'll put up with him because he's good for forty bucks a day or so.
Dislikes:The fact he has a forty dollar cap at which the bar won't serve him anymore.

Slippery Nipple Girls
They show up about 3:30 carefully dismount and stow their large leather purses, put down their cell phones and politely ask the bartender for slippery nipples which they quickly drain and leave making sure to tip the bartender a dollar each.
Likes:quick service
Dislikes:no matter how many times they do this, they never catch the eye of any good looking guys in the bar (mostly because there are none).

The Almost Works Here Guy
He doesn't work there but acts like he does. He gets the ice for the bartender, sometimes ventures behind the bar to grab a lotto form and generally gets a little too comfortable for his station.
Likes:The little extra respect he gets from non regulars who can't figure out his place in the bar.
Dislikes:When the owner asks him to please step back to the other side of the bar in front of others.

The Blind Old Man
He can barely walk, can't hear and you look at him with a smile because it's great to see old folks still bellying up. He asks the bartender twice, "what was that you said?" Then orders three manhattans. Introduces himself to you as "Guy" and asks you kindly don't crush his hand when you shake and you realize you may never be able to sign your name again because this 92 year old bastard is really strong.
Likes:He's fucking 92 and can still bring it.
Dislikes:Disrespectful punks. "Let's take it out side butterscotch!"

The Laugher
In normal life he's mild mannered and could be a friend to Ned Flanders. Two vodkas later he's laughing like a hyena at anything anyone says. He reminds you of Data when his emotion chip failed.
Likes:You and everyone else. Let's buy a round!
Dislikes:Running into anyone in the outside world who can remind him of his other self.

Hossasaurus Wrecked · Post by **Hossasaurus Wrecked** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:07 pm

She left out my favorite type of person - Ms. I-Learned_Everything-I-Know-About-Bars-From-TV-So-I-Can-Visit-Them-and-Sit-There-
With-an-Unearned-Sense-of-Superiority!

Seriously. If you can boil the types of people you meet in a bar down into these stereotypes in the article, you've obviously never even made an effort to get to know one.

And I agree with fdoosey - just because I slump at the bar, it does not mean that I am 'Mr. Surly'. I may not be smiling, but I am still enjoying myself, sitting there, even if I am not talking to anyone at the moment, simply enjoying the atmosphere of real life going on around me.

Oh, and the 'people you meet at an Applebee's bar' comment almost made me lose some valuable liquor through my nose.

Post by **Judge** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:10 pm

Hossasaurus Wrecked wrote:She left out my favorite type of person - Ms. I-Learned_Everything-I-Know-About-Bars-From-TV-So-I-Can-Visit-Them-and-Sit-There-
With-an-Unearned-Sense-of-Superiority!

Seriously. If you can boil the types of people you meet in a bar down into these stereotypes in the article, you've obviously never even made an effort to get to know one.

And I agree with fdoosey - just because I slump at the bar, it does not mean that I am 'Mr. Surly'. I may not be smiling, but I am still enjoying myself, sitting there, even if I am not talking to anyone at the moment, simply enjoying the atmosphere of real life going on around me.

Oh, and the 'people you meet at an Applebee's bar' comment almost made me lose some valuable liquor through my nose.

i.e,sleeping.

Hossasaurus Wrecked · Post by **Hossasaurus Wrecked** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:20 pm

JudgeLyonell wrote:
Hossasaurus Wrecked wrote:She left out my favorite type of person - Ms. I-Learned_Everything-I-Know-About-Bars-From-TV-So-I-Can-Visit-Them-and-Sit-There-
With-an-Unearned-Sense-of-Superiority!

Seriously. If you can boil the types of people you meet in a bar down into these stereotypes in the article, you've obviously never even made an effort to get to know one.

And I agree with fdoosey - just because I slump at the bar, it does not mean that I am 'Mr. Surly'. I may not be smiling, but I am still enjoying myself, sitting there, even if I am not talking to anyone at the moment, simply enjoying the atmosphere of real life going on around me.

Oh, and the 'people you meet at an Applebee's bar' comment almost made me lose some valuable liquor through my nose.
i.e,sleeping.

What I meant by that was "getting drunk enough to be sociable enough to interact with people so that I don't scare them".

...maybe I do fall into one of those categories...

damn alimony

Bluespook · Post by **Bluespook** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:26 pm

Oh, and the 'people you meet at an Applebee's bar' comment almost made me lose some valuable liquor through my nose.[/quote]

Thank you, thank you... I'll be here all week.

Girlie · Post by **Girlie** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 9:37 pm

I don't think I've met any of her 6, but ones posted by others are more familiar.

My least favorite:

The Bachelorette Party:
They giggle their way into the bar with an excess of ridiculous penis paraphernalia pretending to love both booze and penises. They desperately try to get the attention of every guy in the bar to prove their attractiveness only to rebuff any guy that actually has the naivetee to approach them.

Likes: Anyone who validates their worth by paying attention to them and anyone who pays attention to them. (Yes, I know I said this twice.)
Dislikes: The Booze and The Penis

I used to go to a place with Judge's Blind Old Man guy, but he was more of the "Lecherous Old Man" type. He was great - the peeing out the window whilst driving story (and all expulsions spraying back into the car) was a great one.

Smatter Noguts · Post by **Smatter Noguts** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 9:56 pm

I've never seen more good reasons to drink alone at home than in this thread.

noirly · Post by **noirly** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 10:23 pm

Dig deeper ...have you seen the home bar photos??

Post by **Oggar** » Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:50 am

Smatter Noguts wrote:I've never seen more good reasons to drink alone at home than in this thread.

Sure you can drink at home by yourself but that puts you on the same level as the Desperatly Lonely Creep. Don't forget you can also run into;
Your Fellow Drunkard- Amiable and proficient drinker who enjoys the company of other amiable and proficient drinkers.
Likes: Alcohol
Dislikes: Wussies
Upside: Loves to drink with peopple who love to drink
Downside: Doesn't take kindly to teetotalers, posers, hipsters, and people who push AA. (Those are all actually good things).