Beer Theory

[noirly]

When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar........and the beer.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the
jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

[cornbread714]

24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence, or...?

[Cliffie S. Bockerson]

Dumbass prof. wasted two beers...

[Coriolanus]

Still, it's an inspiring lesson, and one which accurately represents the balance between successful drunk, and alcoholic. The Modern Drunkard drinks to complement the other stuff (or at least make those necessities bearable), the alcoholic just fills the jar with beer and says "Fuck the other stuff."

[calx]

moral of the story : balls first.

p.s. that was a great story and i don't know why i never saw this thread before.

[whiskeyprick]

I like it. I was my professors were as enlightened. Beer is to life as mayonaise is to tuna fish.

[Slim]

Hmmm...kinda makes ya drink, don't it?

[Two Martini Breakfast]

I thought the title of this thread was "beer turkey" and I got excited. Now I am sad. A beer will help with that, but a beer turkey would have helped more!

[bluebottle]

fuck check-ups. sure i piss and shit inappropriately - what else ya got, doc?. and yes, i will die. happily.

[Professor Roomie]

The version I heard was that no matter how busy you are there's always time to have a couple beers with a friend, and I've always thought that was a good sentiment.

[bluebottle]

The version I heard was that no matter how busy you are there's always time to have a couple beers with a friend, and I've always thought that was a good sentiment.

yea? i skipped ahead to the angry puking. sentimetality always brings it out of me.

[MethFront]

I want to know what he did with all of that delicious mayonnaise...

[Two Martini Breakfast]

I want to know where my beer turkey is.

[Chimneyfish]

Still, it's an inspiring lesson, and one which accurately represents the balance between successful drunk, and alcoholic. The Modern Drunkard drinks to complement the other stuff (or at least make those necessities bearable), the alcoholic just fills the jar with beer and says "Fuck the other stuff."

I thought the original lesson was cool but you pointed out another outlook that I hadn't even considered. Well put!

[bluebottle]

fuck you, and the other stuff.