Spaghetti

[Professor Roomie]

I don't know how fucked up Oggar got today, but when I got home from work at 12:15am there was hot sauce on the floor and the dishwasher was at the end of a cycle. I opened up the dishwasher to find one glass, one plate, and a pile of spaghetti noodles. What the fuck?

[l...]

i just made spagetti. minds must be melded.

[Professor Roomie]

i just made spagetti. minds must be melded.

I think we've established that you're soulmates.

[bluebottle]

you bastards are rich enough to have a dishwasher?

[Two Martini Breakfast]

10 AM is too early to watch Spain v. US in basketball. Whait. What's today?

What day iw today?
FUCK it's saturday too. Wait! I'll just drink until it's on.

Ok, continue.

[Professor Roomie]

you bastards are rich enough to have a dishwasher?

We're the richest mofos in the whole damn trailer park.

[bluebottle]

you bastards are rich enough to have a dishwasher?

We're the richest mofos in the whole damn trailer park.

really? you prolly use your own dandruff flakes for cleaning powder - at least you are staying true to your mn frugality. hey, maybe you can get badfellow to release some of his blueberries for your doughy pancakes.

[MethFront]

We're the richest mofos in the whole damn trailer park.

You know what, Roomie? I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.

Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people, Roomie. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing to the soil!

You know that Johnny Wezner kid, the kid that delivers papers in the neighborhood. He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl. Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's the Wezner kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Roomie, do you think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAREDEVIL, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, Look at me! Look at me!" POW! He was decapitated! They found his head over by the snow cone concession.

A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?"

Now, Roomie, if you look at the soil around any large US city where there's a large underground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Roomie You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Roomie. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God.

You know what, Roomie? I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.

With apologies to The Dead Milkmen

[bluebottle]

i ran over my neighbor too. with my bitchin camaro. you bastard methie. what else did yoyu learn from tje fucin danish?

[ivan]

I don't know how fucked up Oggar got today

I'd go with "very". Can I take "very" for $200, please, Alex?

but when I got home from work at 12:15am there was hot sauce on the floor and the dishwasher was at the end of a cycle. I opened up the dishwasher to find one glass, one plate, and a pile of spaghetti noodles. What the fuck?

OK, Oggar was just trying to be efficient. He thought about how dishwashers operate- heat and water. He thought about how pasta cooks- heat and water. He decided that using the dishwasher to cook spaghetti would be far safer than bringing water to a boil on the stove, and he put his glass and plate in there, so he'd know where they were.

[Sgt. HSA]

And to continue Ivan's train of thought: did Oggar come back and eat the spaghetti once it was nice and clean ?

[Oggar]

I think Ivan is on to something. I did not eat the spaghetti when I was made aware of it's exsistance this morning, though I most likely would have last night. I blame my early nemise on good bartenders This natty ice is to you April, Hodge and Duce`

[bluebottle]

you didn't eat your spaghetti for a hangover cure?

[Al Coholic]

Just put spaghetti sauce and parmesan in the soap dispenser and fire it up!

[Oggar]

you didn't eat your spaghetti for a hangover cure?

I don't get hangovers, I give 'em. I'm just a carrier.