Narrowly averted tragedy.....

[Cowboy Joe]

So, coming home from the shop today, I'm walking in to my apartment, trying to fumble one handed with the keys and hold up my bag of goodies with the other. I make it through the door, but as I pull my key out, the paper bag rips and I watch in horror as a bottle of New Amsterdam falls to to the floor. Luckily, the bottle fell with a "thunk," not the shatter I was dreading. Horrified, I retrieved the beautiful, bruised baby and rushed inside to assess the damage, to reveal a hairline crack in the bottle at one of the "corner" (if you're familiar with New Am you know what I mean) and the cap was hopelessly split. My first thought was to proceed to drink the whole bottle right there and punish myself for the mistake. I faced off against the open bottle for a moment, considering this, but alas I felt that the pure gin, having be graced to survive the fall on to the harsh and unforgiving floor, deserved a more dignified fate. Second I considered just trading caps with an empty, but I was afraid the already cracked bottle would lead to disaster.

Luckily, I had a fifth of Tanq in the freezer that was nearly empty. I poured the cold Tanqueray in to a ready and waiting stem and finished it off, and washed out the bottle. Carefully, deliberately, I poured the New Am in to the tanqueary bottle, and replaced in my freezer. Now I can test my guests by letting them see me make their martinis, and see if they can tell the ten dollar difference between the two gins, and besides that, I feel pretty fucking resourceful.

Cheers.

[Benh182]

The other day I was heading into my mates house after a trip to Tesco and remeber thinking "Hmm....that bad looks strained".

At that moment, the bag split and his litre bottle of vodka hit the deck....bounced.....then hit side on on the front step, smashing into a zillion pieces. Weirdly tho, he took the reciept, split bag and shards of broken vodka bottle and harrassed the dimwits at Tesco to give him a fresh, unbroken one.

If only we had drained the bottle and THEN dropped it....

[Rip Rufus]

Not quite the same, but similar -

I had bought a case of Flying Fish Pale Ale. When I got it home to put them in the fridge, I found 4 broken bottles. Must have broke a long time back, because the case was dry. The next time I went back to that store, I mentioned to the manager about the 4 broken bottles. I was a regular customer, so he trusted me. He gave me a free sixpack to make up for it. Good service at that place.

[GetDrunkStayDrunk]

I bumped a freshly opened beer off the table last night. Not a glorious sip had been taken from it. I watched the horror in slow motion, praying that I would only lose half of the nectar at most. However the beer gods had a different fate in mind as I watched it hit the deck, mouth first. And since it was full, the concussion blew the bottom cleanly off the bottle, with a fountain of Yuengling following it.


A moment of silence was observed.

[Cowboy Joe]

Don't judge me for this, but I once dropped a pistol on to a glass of bourbon, shattering the glass. The good side was I had a gun that smelled like whiskey. Not that I spend a lot of time with a gun sitting in my lap, but it's one of those rare things you can't forget.

[Savage]

I pulled a bottle off the shelf at Fresh and Easy (U.S. mini Tesco) and the stupid black security cap came off and the the bottle smashed my flip-flop-wearing foot and bounced on the floor, sustaining a crack that began to leak rum. An employee ran up and began guilt-tripping me for not purchasing the semi-depleted bottle. Grumpy grabbed a few other bottles and showed her that their security caps were loose too, but she continued to be a bitch. As my toes were quite bruised, we paid for our food and went to Tumbleweed Junction's one and only true boozetorium to purchase our beverages.

[felinamojokitty]

Well this does not count for boooze realted or anyhting but i was drivng home after running errands...see an ambulace and thought SHIT my neigbor had a heart attack.

turns out there was an accident on our corner and one of the hit cars runs up on our lot and digs up sods of grass and breaks sprinkler heads and takes out our mailbox...blows it down the street according to the cop... i drive up thinking what the fuck?


i get out and ask to the fire guy.. hey hello what happened? he says talk to the cop.. i am thinking my property was damaged... i said is everyone ok? cop says yes..i say well as property owner what happens with my damage? I am NOT going to pay for it..thankfully the woman who was at fault had insurance...the other driver did not .. i have no idea if he got ticketed but i would think he did..cop gives me forms to fill out for insurance.. and i get the others insurance though do not have to give mine because i am an innocent property owner who had damage by no fault of my own..i/we have no standing mailbox as it is.. ish!! i want to just get our property and sprinklers like they were as well as mailbox..

the damn sprinkler system cost $4,200 just to put in.. (16 stations total) i and frank have said this intesection is dangerous.. we have had other incidents with a car hitting a corner of house and busting through our back fence

Koda was really freaky when i got home I know he was agitated with the noise and the activity around our home..he is a superior watch/guard dog..

[l...]

what's a sprinkler system? for real. i don't know. is that like something that waters your lawn on its own?

edited to say...i always have lived in cities...and i always thought people watered lawns themselves.

[calx]

i'm lucky i never smashed a bottle yet. except for a jar of spaghetti sauce that broke out of a bag in a parking lot. my worst accident was being unable to get a cap of sriracha sauce back on the bottle and i squeezed it too hard and hot sauce exploded all over my face. my forehead was on fire for about half an hour.

[Savage]

what's a sprinkler system? for real. i don't know. is that like something that waters your lawn on its own?

edited to say...i always have lived in cities...and i always thought people watered lawns themselves.

My daddy used to go out with a hose and sprinkler and water the lawn himself after work. I think it was his quiet time. We have underground sprinkler lines that water the lawn. The front ones were put in by the builders. The backyard was done by Grumpy and his son. They are hooked to a timer that tells them to water at a particular time.

[fiyah]

Paper or plastic?

Always plastic.

[felinamojokitty]

testing...i tried to post 3 times to this am i banned??

[calx]

i hope not!

[Savage]

Paper or plastic?

Always plastic.

Canvas. Except when I forget them at home.

Read and White and Green all over, you see...

[l...]

fiyah that AV looks like COREY.