British Pub Cultire - The Return

[Johnny Vegas]

Hello
Some of you may remember me - I have somewhat reluctantly returned to the UK from distant shores and find myself lost. I need to re-introduce myself to the infamous Pub Culture without just drinking seven tequilas and throwing up into the bar towels. Any advice greatly apprecciated. I have severely missed the smell of the British Boozer with it's old banknotes stapled to the walls, sticky carpets, sidebearded men playing darts and top shelf delicacies. And what the bloody hell has happened to the smoking law?!!!!!

What're you all drinking?
Johnny

[Johnny Vegas]

Spelt Culture worng. Jesus Mary and Joseph.

[Frankennietzsche]

I've read op-ed's that bemoaned the death of British pub-culture.

[Johnny Vegas]

op-ed? I dont know what that means....!

[Frankennietzsche]

"opinion-editorial"

I guess it's an amerikanischer journalistic term.

[Johnny Vegas]

I'm embarrassed to say I've just had to look that up!
And there's me thinking I'm a clever girl!

So is it right? That the Pub Culture is dead? How do the Americans perceive us in that way? Fairly lewd and ridiculous, right?

[Frankennietzsche]

I just remember reading a piece posted by one of your fellow Britishers about it. It may just have been one of those "oh, the youth of today sucks compared to when I was young" things. It talked about drinking trends and the smoking ban and all that.

[Johnny Vegas]

Well I read somewhere that we're perceived as absolute pillocks in that area. I think it's unique....apart from in Holland, where the whole idea is similar, if not the same. The darts, the old reglulars propping up the bar etc etc. My parents owned a pub for years and it became the norm to me to have a couple of hundred bikers, drunks and a whole bunch of what may be considered unsavouries in my living room. I loved them all - the bikers ordered pints if milk and helped me with my maths homework. Such a shame that whole era seems to have died.

[JohnnyT]

Johnny, your name and your small black and white avatar are confusing me. i keep thinking i'm you, and you're me, or the other way around, or something

[Malkor]

The pub culture is alive and well....with one extra feature,
the extra feature is the smoking ban, this has led to mass exodus from the pubs of every smoker in the place every 10-15 mins which is actually rather good fun as it means we all get to sit outside and moan.
on a sour note the recent economic plunge everyone has to cope with means there are far fewer people in the pubs aside from obligatory friday and saturday nights. other than that the bank notes are still on the walls....no amount of smoking bans will ever get that smell of 100 year old nicotine and tar from the ceilings and carpets, the old men are still playing darts and doms. In fact some really drunk old man stumbled out of the pub the other night while I was smoking outside and declared I was indeed a MOFO???????? I was speechless

[Johnny Vegas]

Johnny, your name and your small black and white avatar are confusing me. i keep thinking i'm you, and you're me, or the other way around, or something

Dude - I shall endeavour to change my avatar in your favour.
I am not you, nor you me.

!

[Frankennietzsche]

God help us if there was more than one Johnny Tequilla!

[Johnny Vegas]

The pub culture is alive and well....with one extra feature,
the extra feature is the smoking ban, this has led to mass exodus from the pubs of every smoker in the place every 10-15 mins which is actually rather good fun as it means we all get to sit outside and moan.
on a sour note the recent economic plunge everyone has to cope with means there are far fewer people in the pubs aside from obligatory friday and saturday nights. other than that the bank notes are still on the walls....no amount of smoking bans will ever get that smell of 100 year old nicotine and tar from the ceilings and carpets, the old men are still playing darts and doms. In fact some really drunk old man stumbled out of the pub the other night while I was smoking outside and declared I was indeed a MOFO???????? I was speechless

...you know what dude I do actually like the smell of nicotine on the walls - when my parents had the pub it became familiar and lovely. A friend of mine bought Browns (Dylan Thomas' favourite hangout in Laugharne) fairly recently and they said the same. So many pubs are being bought out and renovated into wanky swanky bars. There ougt to be some kind of petition - to, about or against what I'm not sure but it'll all be lost before we know it.

[Malkor]

I live in whitby (a small town in the north east of england....)
it has exactly 61 pubs in it, the majority of these pubs are pubs (not bars) and most of these have been around for the past 300 years, yep they have smoke and grime from 3 centuries grained into the walls, but as youve said, a lot of them are gettin turned into "bars" with silly lights that change colour every 4 minutes and strange drinks that cost £7 a go.
where has the love gone?
I used to play with a band in an excellent grotty pub (you yanks will call it a dive)
where everyone knew each other and drunks were never cut off (unless they were violent then they were ass kicked by the landladys son then welcomed back the following evening if they apologised and didnt do it again immediatley)
then the brewery moved in and called time on the fun and games, they tore out the old bar, lined the evil smelling walls with faux oak and put three fancy beers on tap that no one ever drinks.
they banned the playing of live music, banned (of all things!!!) swearing in the main bar, and have been through 5 different owners in the last 4 years.....no one can make that place work now, BAstards!

[kowalski]

Culture.

Gruff Yorkshiremen ordering pints of bitter.

And no cocktails.