BEST DRUNK DIAL QUOTE/LINE

[White Lightning]

A few years ago I sent an IM to my then-roommate explaining (while typing "basically" quite a few times) - "Basically, you know, I'm not from the west coast." I had been friends with him for 15 years at that point, he knew I wasn't from the west coast.

[Savage]

Any time you call me, and the Grumpy wakes up, and finds out I'm on the phone. He proceeds to have a grand mal seizure. Then he takes the reciever and throws it across the room. He refers to all of you as "Your boyfriends." Even if you are a female. He's weird that way. I would poison his soup, but the grandboys love him, and his truck, so much.

[bluebottle]

i ain't no girl

[Savage]

i ain't no girl

Well, I didn't think so, but the tutu did give me me a moment of pause.

[Savage]

and the sparkly red shoes.

[Red]

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

(thud)

[gnarkill]

"You motherfuckers don't know shit about Bob Ross!"

[Impish Boozehound]

Random drunk caller misdialing me
Me


2:15am:
I'VE LOST MY PHONE! FUCK MAN! OH FUCK!
Terrible, have you checked all your pockets?
<sound of frantic pocket shuffeling punctutated with occasional profanity>
Have you checked under the toilet in the womens room?
<sounds of hurried searching, and external vocalizations of disaproval from several ladies, as well as a THUNK that would seem to indicate a head/toilet colllision> It'S NoT HeRe MaN FUck!
Have you tried dialing your phone? hang up, call your phone and call me back if you still cant find it.


2:26am:
aLl I gEt IS a bUSy sIGnAl mAaN! I KeEp CaLLiNg and alL i gEt iS bUsY, yA goTta HelP me!
Hang up. Put your hands together. think hard. you should find your phone.
Oh-kAy.


2:31am:
I FoUnD iT! wHo iS thIs anYway?

[beerkegbilly]

Hey I'm drunk are and do you want fight about man

[ThirstyDrunk]

Hey I'm drunk are and do you want fight about man

Who there was that and drink for as in wind blowed tree fall make bang scare people run away man

[JohnnyT]

Hey I'm drunk are and do you want fight about man

Who there was that and drink for as in wind blowed tree fall make bang scare people run away man

I bet if I was loaded this shit would make sense.

[beerkegbilly]

Hey I'm drunk are and do you want fight about man

Who there was that and drink for as in wind blowed tree fall make bang scare people run away man

I bet if I was loaded this shit would make sense.

I was loaded me and my friend joke like we are going to fight each and other off the wall junk
funny cause he lives in upstate NY

[Savage]

When my cell phone rang the other day (I was upstairs in my disorderly office, doing Halloween stuff), the caller said my name, and asked when I was coming home. It took me a second or two, then I said, "Are you ******* kidding me, Tom? I'm upstairs!" A very befuddled Grumpy replied, "Well, I came home, and after I went piss, I couldn't find you."

So now, I have to reserve that room at the old drunkards home. I wonder if they have one with a king-sized bed?

[JohnnyT]

there once was a man from nantucket.

[TheBigCasino]

text received at 2:00am ( closing time ).
"If this guy gets us killed, I'm gonna kill him"